


Queens and Kings

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon, Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-27
Updated: 2005-10-29
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:32:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 25
Words: 56,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12071823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Emmett is protective.. Justin has a secret..Brian has found love. But will Justin's secret be proven to much for Brian to handle.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

I want to thank my muse on so many of these stories. K, thanks for always being there when i needed some input on a part. Feel free to leave feedback. This chapter isnt beta'd either so all mistakes are my own.

* * *

I’m sitting at the booth with the gang well all but Brian, when my cell phone rang. I look at the caller id and sees that’s its my precious friend Justin. 

“Hi baby” I answer the phone and look at the gang who is looking at me like I’m crazy.

“Hey Em, guess where I am?” Justin saids happily.

“Where are you baby?” 

“Look up and to your right.” As I look up I spot my blond baby. I slam my phone closed and jump up, running to him as he stands up and smiles at me before I have him in a bear hug.

“Oh my lordy me. You are actually here. Oh I missed you so much.” I am so excited to see him. I kiss his cheeks and then I just can’t help it I pull him in and kiss his lips. I have missed him so much.

“Damn Em, I need to breathe at some point in my life.” We both laugh as I release my hold on him.

I grab Justin and pull him out of the diner before anyone can ask about him. I don’t want to go into it with them yet. I just got Justin here, I’m not going to let my friends scare him off. 

We leave the diner in stuns and I take him to my house. “This is it. My little home away from home.” I show him around and he sits down next to me.

“Em, I really appreciate you letting me stay here while attending PIFA. I know I will need to find a job, but this means a lot to know that you will let me stay.”

“Oh Baby, you can stay as long as you want. I missed you Justin.” I lean over and give him a little peck and he smiles at me. 

“You are nuts Em. So what about your friends? Do they know about you having me stay with you?” He asks me.

“Nope, they don’t need to know until I get my fill of you first. Justin you know that my friends are a tad, off?” He looks at me funny. “Ok a tad more normal then me.” I correct myself.

“Oh scary thought. Em, you know I love you the way you are.” He kisses me and hugs me. 

Justin and I lived next door to each other and I took him under my queen gown and showed him a few things. I helped him come out to his parents and his parents left him with my folk. Justin was more then a little brother, he was my best friend and my first real crush. I thought about acting on it, but then decided I couldn’t risk the friendship we share. He’s grown up to be a fine looking and I mean FINE looking man. 

“Em, stop looking at me like that. I know what you are thinking and it’s in the past. I’m not worried about the crush. Now you just have to worry about mine.” 

I look at him in shock “What? Your crush?” 

“Yes my crush. Oh come on Em, you knew it would happen one day. I would get a crush. “ he smiles at me and I lean over and put my head to his, trying to read his mind. 

“Oh fuck Em that shit don’t work anymore.” 

“Oh really then you are thinking you have me fooled” 

“Oh shit, it does still work” He cringes his nose and we both laugh.

We are sitting around, catching up on old times when the phone rings. 

“Hello.”

“Hey it’s Ted. How bout meeting us at Babylon?” I look at Justin.

“Teddy wants us to come to Babylon. It’s the dance club I told you about.” Justin nods his head.

“Ok Teddy we will be there.” I hang up the phone. 

“Let’s get you ready.” I smile and we go into the room to get dressed. Justin walks out of the bathroom and my mouth drops open. 

“Fuck me baby, you look hot.” 

“Thanks Em. So do you.” 

“Well why don’t we go early and have a few drinks and dance a few before the guys get there.” 

“Ok let’s go.” 

We get to Babylon and get a few shots. The entire club has been watching Justin since we got here. I look up to find a guy walking towards Justin. 

“Hey cutie, wanna dance.” 

“No thanks, I have saved my dance card for another queen.” I smile as I put my arm around Justin, looking at the man who looked like he was ready to protest but decided to walk away. 

“Come on J, let’s dance.” I pull him out to the dance floor. “Thought you would never ask” Justin follows me and we get into the groove of the beat. We are dancing very close and I can feel just how much he’s grown in muscles as well as other areas.

 

Brian Pov:

I walk into Babylon ready to dance the night away, oh and let’s not forget, drink and fuck as well. I get to the boys who are talking. 

“Hey Brian, glad to see you.” Michael yells over the music.

“Hey boys, what’s going on?”

“Just talking about the cute blond with Emmett. He called Emmett at the diner and when Em saw him, he jumped up hugged and kissed him and took off with him. Now they are dancing the night away like they have no worries.” Teddy answers.

“Teddy you jealous?” I smirk at him. “Hey Em’s an open target and can be poked by anyone one of these dart boys he wants.” 

I look out to the floor to see what the commotion is about when I spot who they are talking about. I look at the most beautiful man I have ever seen. I close my eyes, opening them again but damn, he isn’t a dream. He is a real fucking walking wet dream. And fuck he’s with Emmett. How the fuck did a queen end up with someone so, fucking incredible?

“Brian, are you okay.” Mikey asked me. 

“Just fucking great.” I look back out and see Emmett with his arms around the blond. The blond tilts his head back, laughing at something Emmett just said and he kisses Em on the lips. 

Out of the corner of my eye I see a guy approaching them and watch as he gets behind the blond. Emmett gives the guy a glare and the blond turns in his arms, facing the other man and looks up at Em who whispers in his ear. The blond looks the guy over and the guy moves into him. As I watch the three dances together, I feel my blood boil. 

I see Emmett whisper to the blond again, who nods his head and whispers something back. Emmett then walks away, but not before he gives the other guy a glare. Emmett goes to the bar. 

I turn around to see The man with his hands all over the blond, who was oblivious to the hands now moving down around his beautiful bubble butt. 

As he leans into the blond and whispers, I see the blond shake his head, Knowing what the asshole wanted I am actually glad he said no. He pulls him into him again and Justin goes to push him away when I see Emmett tap him on the shoulder.

“Oh shit, Emmett is pissed.” Ben points out.

I see the guy turn around and Emmett is telling him something. The guy looks at the blond who is smiling and shrugs. They guy walks off and Emmett is sharing a drink with his prize. He puts the drink down and once again they move their bodies together. They dance so well together. I can see just how hard they both are. Damn you Emmett. 

I start to walk out on the floor. I make my way over to Emmett who by this time was bumping and grinding his heart out. I move up behind Emmett and lean into him. 

“Nice floor show?” He looks back and smiles. 

“Thanks” He replies.

The blond leans in. “Is he bothering you E?” 

“Look asshole, he’s with me. Get your own queen.” The blond tells me looking into my eyes, but I see something in them. I can’t place my finger on it, oh wait, he fucking checked me out.

“Justin, it’s ok. He’s a friend. Brian this is Justin. Justin meet Brian. Even though he got the asshole part right” Em laughs at his own joke. Justin, that’s his name. 

“Em you are fucking insane. I missed you.” Justin tells Emmett. Looks up at me and smiles, fuck that smile is going to be the heart of me. 

“Sorry about that. I just thought you were some creep who was after my Em here” 

“Hey not that I wouldn’t mind a hunk like Brian, but I have had my share.” Emmett and Justin both laugh. 

I stand there wondering what they are laughing at. “Wanna dance with us Brian?” Emmett asks me. I look at Justin and he nods his head like giving me approval. I smile back and move behind Justin.

We all dance and I feel Justin’s hard body in my hands and Emmett eyes me. He shakes his head at me and I just give it back. I won’t let anyone intimidate me, Especially a queen like Emmett.

Justin leans back into me. “Sorry, he is a tad protective of me.” Smiling up at me. . 

I just smile back down at him and nod my head. Emmett leans into him and kisses his neck, I lean down and kiss the other side. Emmett sees me do it and pushes me away. Oh fuck, Emmett is really going overboard with this protection. 

I raise my hands up in surrender and walk away with a bigger hard on then I thought. I go and find me another blond who can service me while I think of another one, dancing with Emmett.

Justin Pov:

I watched as Brian walks away. He keeps looking back at me with the look of ‘I want to fuck you’ He actually seemed to be jealous of Emmett. He must think I’m Em’s boy toy. How funny.

“Justin, are you okay” Emmett asks me and I just nod my head. 

“Ya, what’s his story?” I ask him about Brian.

“He’s trouble for you if you get caught up with him. He has probably fucked everyone in here but his friends over there and me. Justin, he has a fuck em’ and leave em’ attitude. He doesn’t care about love or emotions. Just don’t be like every queer here and fall for him.” He hugs me close. “He will just break your heart and I would have to break my friends face.” I just nod my head in understanding, but still intrigued with the hazel-eyed auburn hair man.

The night came to an end and we all head over to the diner. Every one is there, but Brian.

“So aren’t you going to introduce us.” The short funny looking man asked.

“Oh Teddy this is Justin, guys this is Justin. Justin this is Teddy, and Michael and his partner Ben.”

“Nice to meet all of you. Em has told me a lot about you. Let’s see, Ted, you are the accountant. And Michael, you own a comic book store and Ben, it’s great to see you got that job you wanted here.” Everyone looks at me and then to Ben.

“Ya, it worked out great. I didn’t know you knew Emmett.” Ben replies, ignoring all the looks.

“Ok what the fuck. You knew my boyfriend before you were with Emmett?” Michael asks me.

“Um, actually I’ve known Ben a few years.”

“Oh my god, you are THAT Ben?” He looks at me “He is THAT Ben” Emmett gasps. “Holy shit” 

“So you fucked my boyfriend?” Michael demands.

“Actually, I wasn’t your boyfriend at the time. I was in New York one weekend and Justin had a show there and I met him and we hit it off. I never knew he knew Emmett.” Ben said smiling at me.

“I don’t fucking believe this.” Michael yells.

“What are you yelling about?” Brian asks from the door.

I smile at him, as he smiles back. “What are you yelling about Mikey?” Brian asks again.

“Justin fucked Ben.” Brian looks at me and then to Ben.

“Michael, I didn’t even know you then and if it wasn’t for Justin you probably never would have met me. He is the one who talked me into coming here and going with the job offer. What I did with Justin has nothing to do with us.”

“Why didn’t you say anything at Babylon when you saw him?”

“Because I knew it would upset you.” 

“Oh Mikey, what’s the problem? So he fucked Justin. Emmett isn’t throwing a fit, so why should you?” 

“You don’t get it Brian.” Michael whines.

“We need to get going Justin. You had a long day and I should get you to bed.” Emmett tells me getting up.

“Ya, sure. Ok honey, let’s go.” I wink at Em and he laughs at me.

“It was nice to meet you all and Ben it was great seeing you again.” 

“Ya, Justin we will get together and catch up.” Ben smiles at me.

“I would like that.” I smile wider as I walk towards the door Brian pulls me to the side.

“Don’t worry about Mikey, he will get over the fact you had sex with the professor. Just think if he knew I fucked him myself four years ago.” I look into his eyes and he smiles.

“I have to go.” Remembering what Emmett said about him.

“Sure Sunshine. I’ll see you soon. And Justin.” He leans over into me. “When you get tired of the Queen of Liberty Avenue, you come find the King of Liberty Avenue, which is me.” He kisses my neck as Emmett grabs my arm and pulls me away from him.

“Hands off Kinney.” Is all he said as he pulled me out of the diner and towards the car. I can’t help but laugh.

 

Brian Pov:

I watch as they leave and I see Emmett give me the evil eye. I know he means business. I have never seen Emmett like this. I guess if I had a boyfriend like Justin, I would act the same way.

“What was that about Brian?” Mikey whines to me. 

“What?”

“The whole way you have been acting with Justin all night. He’s Emmett’s boyfriend. Who happened to sleep with my boyfriend.” I roll my eyes.

“So Ben how was he? Any good? That bubble butt of his is fucking hot.” I smirk at Ben who smiles at me.

“Oh MY GOD. Shut up Brian>” Mikey looks at me with a look to kill.

“Fucking get over it. SO Ben, just how old is Justin?” I see Michael puff.

“He’s twenty now. He was 18 when I met him and he had an art show at the gallery up in New York. He’s a very talented artist. He’s come a long way. I’m proud of him.” 

“Interesting. And he didn’t tell you about him and Emmett?” I ask him. I wonder what I am doing. I have never asked for information on anyone before unless I was doing an ad for them.

 

“He didn’t mention him then. He mentioned his friend who lived in Pitts and said he might see me here one day. I guess he meant it. He’s a very bright young man. “ Ben looks to me and then to Mikey who was just poking at his pie. “Michael, he was before us. It doesn’t matter.” 

“The hell it doesn’t. He slept with you. How can I be around anyone who has slept with you who you are buddy, buddy with?” 

At this point I am getting to my limit. 

“He needs to just leave. I don’t like him and I don’t trust him.”

“Shut the fuck up Michael. You don’t know Justin. He is a good guy. What we have is just a friendship. He is with Emmett now, and they seem happy, so butt the fuck out.” I look at Ben in shock.

“And if you have such a hard time being friends with someone I slept with then you better fucking stop being friends with Brian, because four fucking years ago at the white part we fucked. I am so sick of this Michael. I am with you now, not Brian, not Justin. So Justin remained my friend and Brian became one after I met you. What I did with them is so fucking in the past. Now either drop it or drop me.” Ben tells him and stands up and walks out. 

Michael looks at me with shock. “I will deal with you later.” He tells me before getting up and going out the door after Ben. I smile to myself thinking that Ben is an okay guy. 

I smile at Teddy and get up. “Well Theodore I will talk to you tomorrow. Don’t be late or I will dock it from your hours.” I smirk at him and he smiled back as I walk out with a new found respect for Ben and a bigger hard on for Justin. Damn. 

I get home and my phone is ringing. ‘’Hello” 

“Hey Brian, I got your number off Emmett’s fridge. I just wanted to umm.” 

“To do what Sunshine?” I smirk to myself.

“To say thanks for what you said to me about Ben and Michael. I didn’t mean to cause trouble.” Justin tells me.

“It’s ok Sunshine. Ben can handle Mikey.”

I hear a low moan from his end. “What are you doing? Is Emmett servicing you?” I can’t help for it to come out as a jealous nag.

“Nope, E’s asleep.” 

“Are you touching yourself Sunshine?” 

There is silence for a minute. “Justin?” 

“Ya, I’m here. Sorry. Yes I am touching myself.”

“You are calling me, jerking yourself off on the phone?”

“Yes but I can hang up. I wasn’t going to do it until I hung up but the moan came out to soon.” 

“Justin, hold on a sec, okay?” “Ok” he answers back.

I strip my clothes off, grab the lube and lay down on the bed. I pick the phone up.

“Ok, you there?” 

“Ya, I’m here. Brian I should go, I am getting into something here and it’s rude for me to do it with you.”

“Oh fuck Sunshine, it’s only ride if I don’t do it with you, so why don’t we do it together?” 

“Brian, are you?” 

“Hard, stroking, thinking of you. Yes to all three questions. Do you have any lube handy?” I ask him.

“Ya, I have it on my hand now.” He answers me.

“Okay, stroke your dick. Stroke it for me.” 

I hear him moan into the phone. I can’t help the moan that escapes my own lips.

“Tell me how it feels Justin.” 

“It feels great. My balls are tight, my cock is rock hard. How about you?” he asks me.

“Fucking great. My nine-inch dick is throbbing in my hand and my nuts are on fire.” I answer him with another moan.

“Just imagine my mouth on your nine-inch dick Brian. My lips wrapped around your shaft. Taking you to the tip of my throat.” I hear him moaning as I move my hand faster. 

“Oh shit, Justin.” I pump my dick faster in my hand, thinking of Justin perfect lips around me.

“Oh god Brian, this feels great.” Justin moans louder.

“Shh, you don’t want to wake the queen.” I hear him laugh.

“He sleeps through anything. Oh damn. Fuck I am so fucking hard.” 

Damn when he said that my cock twitched. “What are you doing now Justin?” 

“I just pushed my finger into my ass.” He whimpers.

Oh holy shit that is fucking hot. Justin lying there, spread eagle with one hand stroking and the other putting fingers inside his ass.

“Do it Brian.” Justin tells me.

“I don’t let anyone fuck me.” I tell him jokingly.

“Please Brian, it feels fucking great.” He didn’t need to encourage me as I slide my other hand down putting him on speaker and sticking fingers in my own ass. I moan out. “Justin”

“Feels good, baby?” Justin asks me.

“Shit I’m getting close Sunshine.”

“Me to, oh god Brian, push your fingers all the way up and stroke faster.” As he told me to I did it.

“Oh fuck, Justin are you ready?” “Yes” was the short reply. 

“Fuck Now Justin, cum with me NOW!” I yell into the air. 

I hear Justin on the other side, cuming and saying my name like it was sweet candy. And the way it sounds from him makes me smile. 

“Justin, are you ok?” I ask him.

“Fucking fantastic. You?” He asks me.

“Amazing, even from the phone that was amazing. Goddamn Sunshine. When did you learn to have phone sex like that? You are only twenty.” 

“Someone’s been asking about me.” He sings songs.

I laugh at him knowing I was caught. “Maybe, why don’t we get together sometime?” I can’t believe I just asked that.

“Maybe. I have to go. Later Brian.” 

“Later Justin” I whisper into the phone before hanging it up. Looking down I see my soft dick and smile. No one has ever worn me out just with phone sex. I can’t wait to see what he can do in person.


	2. Queens and Kings

**I DIDN'T REALIZE IT DIDN'T POST THE WHOLE CHAPTER > I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY CONFUSION **  
. Thanks to my beta TC and to the girls. An extra thanks to Kami for everything she has done for me in this story.

* * *

Chapter 2

 

I wake up the next morning and am very interested in finding out more about Justin. But without the guys finding out that I am looking into Emmett’s boyfriend. 

I get to work early and Cynthia is already there, making the coffee. “Morning boss.” She yells to me.

“Morning Cynthia. I need my coffee please.” 

“Are you sick?” She comes over after placing the coffee on my desk. 

“No” I push her hand away. “Why”

“Well you said ‘Please’ which I am sure I heard wrong.” She laughs at the way I am looking at her.

“Anything else Brian?” I shake my head. “Just leave me alone for a bit, I have some things to do.” She nods her head as she walks out. ‘Sure thing boss.”

I reach into my draw and pull out my book and scroll through it in search of one person. When I find it I smile to myself, picking up my phone I dial the number.

“Hello, this is Agent Brown.” He saids as he answers the phone.

“Andy, this is Brian. I need a favor.” I can hear his smile cracking.

“Brian, what can I do for you?”

“I need you to look into someone’s past for me. I need to know all you can find out on Justin Taylor.” 

“Is there a reason? Is he trouble for you?” He asks concern in his voice. I laugh at him.

‘No, he isn’t trouble, well not that kind of trouble. Just do it for me and I’ll make it worth your wild” He hears my voice of seduction and laughs. “You got it Kinney.” 

“How soon can you get it?” I look out the window.

“How’s this afternoon sound. You know I have my ways of getting things ASAP.” 

“That would be great. Call when you have it.” “Sure thing. Bye” He hangs up with me. I lean back into the chair with a smile on my face. “Pretty soon Sunshine, I will know what makes you tick,” I say into the empty space.

 

Justin POV:

I wake up to someone singing. Oh, I forgot how Em loves to do that in the morning. I get up and walk into the kitchen where he is making lunch. I join into the song. “ Like a virgin, touched for the very first time”

Emmett jumps and looks at me and smiles. “Hey baby. Good morning” 

“Afternoon E. What’s for lunch?” I look at what he is cooking.

“I’m making chicken Parmesan with the slight touch over spice.” 

“Sounds good. How much are you making?” 

“Oh enough for a few people.” He winks at me. “Always taking care of me.” I give him a kiss before sitting down and taking a drink of juice. 

“So want to tell me about the late night call and don’t leave out any details.” Emmett winks at me.

“I thought you were a heavy sleeper?” I laugh at him.

‘Only when it doesn’t have to do with sex sounds or sex itself.” He winks again and we both laugh. “Now, details. Who did you call and how was he?”

“I can’t believe you did that. Why didn’t you tell me I was loud?” 

“Oh you weren’t loud sweetie, just fabulously scrumptious sounding.” He leans over and kisses my cheek. “Now out with it.” He demands.

“Fine, I called your friend Brian and we had phone sex.” He looks at me in shock.

“You called Brian. Justin I told you what his deal was. Please don’t make me hurt him. Because I will hurt him, when he hurts you. I just can’t believe he agreed to phone sex.” He shakes his head.

“E, I know that this is a tad not my style but I think he’s sexy and I think there is more to Brian Kinney then he is willing to show.” Emmett just shakes his head. 

I get up to go and take a shower. As I got out I hear voices coming from the living room. “I know he’s here you fucking fairy, where is he?” Shit, my father.

“I’m right here dad, what do you want?” I ask him. Emmett getting in between us. 

“What are you doing back here? I told you when you moved, not to move to Pittsburgh because I have friends here.” He starts to walk towards me and Emmett gets even closer to me, glaring at my father.

“I advice you to leave. Justin is old enough to go where he wants to go and he got into the finest school in Pitts. Oh and before you say anything about me, I didn’t turn Justin any way. He choose it on his own. I won’t let you come into my home and attack him like this.” 

“Listen to me you faggot, Justin was normal until he hung out with you. “ 

“Fuck you dad. E is the best thing to happen to me. He took care of me when I needed him and not in the way you think. Get out of my home.” I shout at him.  
E walks over to the phone and picks it up. “Yes security there is a man in my house I want out and he is never to be aloud to get in here again. Thank you baby.” 

A few seconds later a security guard is taking him out. “This isn’t over Justin” 

“Yes it is dad.” 

 

“Are you okay baby?” Emmett put his arms around me. “Ya, I just need to go out and relax. I won’t let him get to me anymore.” Emmett nods and I walk out the door. I have to get things ready for school.

 

Brian POV:

I am sitting at my desk when there is a knock on the door. “Come in” I shout. I look up and see Andy walking into my office. 

I stand up and move around my desk, reaching out to shake his hand. “Andy, good to see you. What do you got?” I ask him as he hands me a file.

“It’s everything we have on Mr. Taylor.” He smiles at me and I shut my door, proceeding to pay him back with one of my infamous blowjobs. 

After we say our good byes and he leaves I pick up the file on my desk. I start to look through it and getting to know that Justin and I have more in common then I thought. As I continue to read, my door flies open and in walks Emmett. 

“I tried to stop him but he insisted he’s a friend.” I nod my head “Yes he’s fine, well as fine as one like him can be.” Cynthia nods and walks out. 

“To what do I owe this visit.” I sit down and Emmett is walking in circles.

“I was wondering if Justin came by? He was quiet before he left and that isn’t like Justin.” 

“Why Emmett, what are you not telling me?” He looks at the desk and sees the folder, picking it up and looking in it. I go to grab it but he quickly moves back, looking at the folder he snaps his head up. “You asshole. What the fuck do you think you are doing looking into Justin’s past? If he wants you to know he will tell. How much of this have you looked at? This is even low for you Brian.” He gets up in my face, the thing about Emmett is he might be a queen but he is a tough queen. He can hold his own.

“Why are you looking into his past Brian?” He asks again. 

“I just want to know what he is about. I know he is your boyfriend Emmett, but as a friend of yours, I’m looking out for you.” Which wasn’t a total lie. 

“That’s fucking bullshit and you know it. I know about the late night or should I say early morning call you and Justin had.” I look at him in shock. “Justin told me, plus I heard him in the next room.”

“Emmett, don’t be mad at him.” 

“I’m not fucking mad at Justin. And for the record we aren’t together. Justin and I are very close but we aren’t a couple so knock the fucking guilty look off your face. Brian, he’s been through a lot and he doesn’t need your fucking theory on love and sex. He is a good kid who is just like you. You want to know about his past, just ask.” He tells me and hands me the folder back. “Don’t go behind his back and do it. Brian, I love that kid, but I refuse to let him get hurt and if he does get hurt, and I mean by you I will tear your fucking balls off and make you swallow them.” He looks at me.

“You and Justin aren’t together?” I smirk at him.

“Fuck Brian, didn’t you hear anything other then we aren’t together?” He shakes his head and walks out.

“Boss, everything ok?” Cynthia asks me. “Ya, Cyn, thanks.” I lean back in the chair and look at the folder. More then anything I want to see what it has on Justin, but at the same time, Em’s right, this is his story to tell and the fact that I just find out they aren’t together and that Justin is fair game. My dick twitches at the thought. 

But why would he think Justin came to me. Emmett said was quiet when he left and that’s not a good sign for Justin. So obviously something had happened. And for the rest of the day I will have to think if I want to look in this folder and see what’s going on, or ask Justin.

My cell rings about five minutes before I leave the office. I look at caller id and see its Mikey. “Yes Mikey?” I ask into the phone.

“Want go out to Woody’s and then to Babylon? Justin will be there with Emmett. I just talked to him and he said Justin is needing a drink.” 

“I’ll be there.” I tell him as I hang up the phone. I head home and change and head out the door, looking at the file on my table. I shake my head, “I’ll figure it out later” I grab my keys and head out.

I get to Woody’s and spot Mikey and the boys at the bar. I see Emmett talking to Justin and Justin looks at me and nods his head. I nod mine towards him to let him know I saw him.

I get to the bar and order two shots of Beam and hand one to Justin. “You look like you could use this.” He takes it from me and raises the glass “Ya I do, thanks. Cheers” He downs his and I do the same, putting the glass on the bar. “Want to play a little pool?” I ask him, wanting to get him away from the group. He gets up and walks towards the pool tables.

I start to walk over when Michael grabs my arm. “What are you doing? He’s Emmett’s boyfriend.” 

“Actually Mikey, he’s not. He told me this afternoon that him and Justin aren’t together but did promise to tear me a new one if I hurt him.” I smile and walk away.

I get to the table where Justin has set up to play when I lean into him and whisper “You okay?” He just looks at me and shrugs.

We play a game of pool, which he won. He’s a great player. “Let’s go to Babylon. I need to dance.” He tells me as he walks to the bar. “E, I’m going to Babylon, you coming?” He walks away and I walk out to Justin. “Why don’t you ride with me Sunshine.”

As we are on our way to the club, Justin looks at me laughing. “What is so funny?” I ask him.

“You called me a pet name. Sunshine?” 

“Well with a smile as bright as yours, what else could you be?” He smiles that sunshine smile and I nod at him “Yup that’s the one” and we both laugh.

“So want to tell me what is wrong with you tonight?” 

“Not really. Just saw someone tonight I don’t care to see.” He looks out the window, losing the sunshine smile.

We pull up to Babylon and I take Justin’s hand. “You can talk to me if you want.” He leans over, kissing my cheek and smiles. “Thanks Brian, but I just need to dance right now.” He gets out and heads into Babylon.

Thirty minutes later, Justin and I were dancing and grinding. He has his head tiled back and I was fighting to lean over and take his neck into my mouth. And his fucking lips, so sexy. I want every part of him, but after the phone sex, how would he feel about that?

Emmett comes over and gets behind Justin, whispering in his ear and Justin nodding his head. He looks at me and smiles. “Are you hungry?” He asks me. I nod my head.

“I haven’t eaten all day and I’m starving.” I don’t know what Emmett told Justin but it made him want to go somewhere else.

We get to the Liberty diner and order some food. I put my hand on Justin’s leg and he looks at me smiling. We hear the bell go off over the door and I feel Justin’s leg stiffen. 

I look up and see a man walking towards us, shooting dangers in Justin’s direction. Before I could ask anything Emmett gets up and walks toward him. “What the fuck do you think you are doing? Why can’t you leave him the fuck alone? You have no right being down hear.” 

“I have every right to come see my son.” 

“NO you don’t have that right anymore. You lost that a long time ago.”

I feel Justin start to shake and I can see the look in his eyes. Shit what the fuck happened with them?

“Justin get your faggot ass over here” and the entire diner looked in his direction. 

“Dad, I wouldn’t yell that here. See I’m not the only fag here.” Justin looked at him and then to me.

I get up and let him out of the booth. The man tried to get around Emmett but Emmett was holding his ground, and very well I might add. 

“Emmett, move. I want to talk to Justin.” 

“Fuck you Craig. You don’t deserve to talk to him.” Before I could get in it Justin is behind Emmett. “If you don’t stop this shit Justin you will never see or talk to Molly again.” Which got Justin to blink a few times. 

“Molly is old enough she can make up her own mind. She will be eighteen in two years.” Emmett is in the mans face.

“You can’t keep stopping me Emmett.” The man looks dead at Justin. “Sooner or later I will catch him alone.” 

“And if you are smart you will leave him alone or it won’t be just Em here who will fucking kick your ass.” I step up beside Emmett. He looks over at me and has a little smile on his face. 

“And who the hell are you?” He snaps at me.

“I’m his boyfriend and yes I am older but I am getting better looking with age and I am wiser then you are in your old age.” I look at the diner. Shit I just proclaimed someone as being mine. 

“And we are his friends” The gang stands up and walks over, putting themselves between Justin and his father.

“And we are the liberty diner fags who stick up for our own” the entire diner stands up and Craig backs out, eyeing Justin. “We will talk soon boy.” He tells him and walks out. We turn around and see Justin walking into the bathroom. Emmett stops me and he goes into the restroom.

A few minutes later, they come out and sit down. “Thanks guys for doing that for me.” 

“Hey we are all family.” Mikey tells him. Justin looks at me, smiling. “Thanks Brian.” I nod my head. “I need to get out of here.” 

“Justin, why don’t we get out of here and just hang out?” 

“Okay.” We walk out and we see his father sitting in his car. Before I could protest, Justin grabs me and kisses me. I pull him into me and kiss him back. His lips are so soft. He pulls away only because breathing became necessary to us both. 

“Why don’t we go to my place?” I say as I get my breathing back.

“Let’s go” He tells me, smiling that sunshine smile again.

 

As we are driving, Justin leans over and rubs my dick through my pants. “Shit Justin you are going to cause us to wreck.” I grab his hand.

“No we won’t. I just wanted to see if it was as big as mine.” He takes my hand and places it on his dick. I rub slowly as my own cock twitches.

I need to be in this young man and soon. I step down on the gas and swerve around a few cars. Justin is once again rubbing me as I rub him as we pull into the parking garage.

We both jump out and head up to my loft. We take the stairs because waiting on the elevator takes to long. As I am trying to get the key in the door I feel Justin rubbing up against me, his hand wrapped around my dick. He squeezes it and we both moan. I finally get the door open and pull him inside, shutting the door and pushing him up against it.

We start tearing each other’s close off as we make our way to the bedroom. I pick him up and toss him on the bed where the blue lights bring more beauty to Justin’s features. 

“Damn, you are fucking gorgeous Justin.” I push him backwards and lay on top of him, kissing him. I move all the way down his body as I reach for the lube and condom. I slide it on myself and prepare Justin. Right before I push in I look down at Justin whose eyes are on mine and we move in together. 

We move together the whole time and as we both cum I look into Justin’s eyes and see something flash in them. Could that have been love? No, it’s too early for love. But at the same time I can feel it in me.

We lay next to each other as Justin starts to laugh. “What’s so funny?” I ask him

“I can’t believe you thought I was with Emmett.” As we both start laughing Justin gets up. “I’m going to get some water, you want anything?” 

“Nope, Just you to hurry back.” I can’t believe I sound like a dyke. I relax for a few minutes and notice Justin hasn’t returned. I get up to go check on what’s taking him so long. As I enter the living room I see Justin with the folder. SHIT I just left it on the table.

“Justin?” I say softly.

“How could you fucking do this to me? If you wanted to know bout me, all you had to do is ask and what you needed to know, I would tell you. I would tell you as much as I was comfortable with you knowing.” He gets up and gets dressed. 

“Justin, let me explain. I didn’t” 

“You fucking didn’t think I would find out you were snooping in my past. You didn’t think I would care. Well Fuck you Brian. I don’t need people knowing my business. Now that you know the truth, and why Emmett is so fucking protective of me. My father beat the shit out of me on a daily basis. Sometimes more then one time a day. Emmett was my savior then and he is now as well. I should have listened to him about you. Don’t worry, I won’t tell him about it or he would have your fucking balls in his next cosmo.” He screams at me before unlocking the door. 

“Justin fucking wait, I didn’t read it. I didn’t know any of this until you told me.”

“THAT’S NOT THE FUCKING POINT BRIAN. You went behind my back and had someone look into it.” 

With that he is out the door before I could say anything in response. I sit down on the couch and pick up the phone and dial the number. 

“Hello?” I hear the voice say. 

“Em, I need your help.” 

“I warned you Brian. What the fuck did you do?”

“I fucking ruined everything, and now I lost Justin as well.” I tell him before lying down on the couch. Maybe Emmett could help me with this.


	3. Queens and Kings

Thanks to the beta TC and to Kami for everything she does for me. Love yas and thx to the girls.

* * *

Emmett’s POV:

“How did you fuck up Brian?” I ask him.

“Justin saw the file that I have on him. Em, I didn’t read any of it. I brought it home so no one in the office would snoop. Ok, the truth is I was still curious as to how you and Justin came across each other and why you were so protective of him. I didn’t read it. I told Justin that and he said it wasn’t the point. Em I really like Justin.” Brian whines to me.

“Damn it Brian, is he still there?” 

“No, he stormed out.” 

“Fuck, Brian Aidan Kinney, I should have warned him more, or warned you more. Fuck, I would have your fucking balls in my next cosmo if I thought it would help Justin. Ok, listen to me. I need to find Justin. When he is upset about the past, I know how he gets.” I tell him

“I want to help find him and I want him to know regardless of anything, I care for him. Hell Em, I was beaten up on a daily basis as well. Michael was my savior. I understand his anger and how he is feeling right now.” Brian tells me.

“Brian, getting beaten wasn’t all Justin got and it’s not up to me to tell you. I don’t think it’s a god idea for you to come near him right now. You are why he is angry. Well, more of the fact you looked into his past and you know his dirty little secrets. I’ll stop by and get the file, DON’T fucking look at it. That way he sees I have the file. Then once he calms down he will talk to you. Justin is like that. He gets mad at the person or himself because he’s mad at things that happened. Just don’t look at it. Justin will talk to you WHEN HE is ready. Not before.” I reply, putting my shoes on. 

“Em, I am sorry. I’ll be here.”

“Brian, I know you like him and care about him, but think about how you feel when someone looks into your past, reading the file really isn’t the point, it’s that you didn’t trust him to talk to him about it. Plus you hate having people know your dirty family secrets.”

“Em, I know this. I really like him. Please just find him and let him know I’m sorry and I’m here when he is ready to talk.” 

“Fine, I got to go. Call you later.” I tell him before hanging up.

Ten minutes later I was knocking on Brian’s door. 

“Justin?” He said as he opened it.

“Sorry, just little old me. I came for the folder.” He hands it to me. “I wish you would let me go with you. I know what it’s like to be in his shoes.” 

“Brian, right now Justin is in his place where it doesn’t matter what happened. When he would get like this I would have to pull him out. I will not let him go through this alone. Don’t worry I know where he is. I talked to him on the cell. He answers me all the time.”

“Did you tell him I’m sorry?” He looks so lost.

“Yes, I did and he said right now he doesn’t want to think about it. Brian, like I said, there is more to his past then you know or than he is willing to share with you. He barely knows you.”

“I know. You have told me this a few times. It wasn’t only beatings he got, but something worse as well. What was the worse part?” he asks me.

“Brian, I can’t tell you one way or the other, this is Justin’s place to tell you. I need to go to him. Just promise me, no more snooping. Let him come to you.”

“I can’t believe I am having this talk with the queen of liberty.” He smiles at me. “Ok, I promise.”

“And I can’t believe the king of liberty is actually wanting to open up about his life to someone and love someone as more than a friend.” His smirk disappears from his face.

“You don’t know shit.” He said, but smiling to soften the blow. “Go find our little ray of sunshine.”

“See ya, Brian” I walk out and go to where I know Justin will be. The place he said to meet him at.

He’s at the bar having a few drinks and I walk up and motion to Trevor to cut him off. He nods his head and walks away.

“Hey, I need another one.” Justin yells to Trevor.

“No, you don’t baby.” I reach around him and pull him to me, where he proceeds to lose it. I motion for Trevor to put it on my tab and we walk out.

“God damn it, E. I thought I was over all this shit. I thought coming here that my life would be better, that I would be away from them. But yet, my father still shows up to ruin my life and then someone I thought I could trust and that I liked a lot and who I thought liked me goes and snoops into my past to find about me. Why would he do that? In time when I trusted him fully I would have told him. Even if he said he didn’t read it, how can I trust him?” He cries again.

“It’s not that you can’t trust Brian Kinney. If you can trust anyone I would say Brian is your number one bet. He never lies and yes he might have gone about it wrong but Justin he does care for you. If Brian said he cares, then he cares, but he also likes to know the truth on things and this time he went about it the wrong way. Justin, none of us is out to hurt you. Brian wouldn’t do it if he knew how much it hurt you. Hell, out of everyone here, Brian would understand better then any of us about the beating part. His Dad was the same way on that. He didn’t do everything your father did, but he understands about getting beaten.” I hold him in my arms.

“He didn’t read it, but he doesn’t have any right to go about finding out about me that way. Em, I like him too much to tell him this stuff. He will look at me differently.” 

“Justin, Brian has never been the kind to look at people in any way because of their pasts or where they come from. He’s an honest man with an honest heart. He makes himself out to be an asshole but he really has a heart of gold. Give him the chance, Justin. If I didn’t believe he would be good for you I wouldn’t tell you to do this. I would never tell you to trust someone I didn’t trust myself.” 

“Ok E, I will try to. But I can still be mad at him for snooping?” He asks me.

“Oh, of course you can baby. You can be mad at him all you want for doing that. Just tell him what you can when you are ready, but not before.” He nods his head. 

“Want to get a drink?” He asks me.

“Baby, you don’t need anymore. You are way too big to be carried anymore.” We both laugh and head to the car. We drive back to my place where Justin takes a shower. I pick up the phone and call Brian.

“Yeah, Emmett? How is he?” He asks in a rushed voice. I smile knowing that Brian Kinney is now in the web of Justin Taylor and is falling for him fast.

“Hi, to you too, Brian. He is fine. Drunk but fine. I had Trevor cut him off and had him put it on my tab, which never gets paid since I’m fucking him.” I start to laugh.

“Em, what about Justin?” I can tell he was being impatient.

“He’s fine. He is in the shower and he is mad about you going behind his back and then finding out about his past. He is scared you will look or treat him differently after knowing. I told him you wouldn’t.”

“Thanks Emmett. Just take care of him and tell him I’ll talk to him when he is ready.”

“No problem Brian. Night.” And we hung up the phone.

Justin comes out of the bathroom and sits by me and lays his head on my lap. “Was that Brian?” he asks through yawns.

“Yes, he was worried about you and told me to tell you when you are ready to talk to him again he will be waiting.”

“Ok, I love you E.”

“I love you to baby, let’s get you to bed. You will have a bitch of a headache tomorrow. And for the record, he is falling just as fast and hard for you.” I whisper to him as he drifts off to sleep. I pick him up and carry him to the bed and lay him down. 

“You and Brian belong together. I can see it in his eyes and in your eyes baby. I just hope you talk to him.” I kiss him and lay with him until I am sound asleep as well

 

JUSTIN’S POV:

The next few days went by in a haze for me. I talked to Brian and we have an understanding. He told me the first time we talked after my breakdown. “Justin, I promise that I won’t push you but when you are ready to talk, I’ll be here to listen. I am sorry for what I did. I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

“I thought you said ‘sorry is bullshit’? And I know you didn’t do it to hurt me. Sorry I freaked out on you. I’m just a tad crazy when it comes to someone getting closer to my past.” I tell him.

“It is bullshit when you say it mockingly and not meaning it. It means a lot when you do mean it, like I do. And now we won’t talk about it UNLESS YOU bring it up and want to.” 

“Thanks, Brian.” 

“No Problem, Sunshine.” 

Now it’s been a week since the night I freaked out and I have decided to go out with E to Babylon. I want to see Brian again. We have talked on the phone about everything to anything with the exception of my past. He has kept his word and hasn’t asked. 

We have run into each other at the diner and Woody’s for a few drinks. Some reason Trevor cuts me off and I know it has to do with Em. Tonight I will do what I do best when I have pent up stress. Well, next to painting, I do my best work on the dance floor.

I walk out from the bathroom in my blue shirt and tight leather pants.

“Holy Shit, baby. You look fan-fucking- tastic. Just fabulous. Brian Kinney won’t know what hit him. If you weren’t my friend, I would be all over you baby.” Em has always been one of flamboyant behavior.

“Thanks E, but I’m doing this for me.” 

“Sure thing, baby. For whatever reason, you are dressed to make every male in there to drop to his knees and service you.” He does walks around me, looking me up and down.

“I only want one guy to service me.” I smirk at him.

“Then let’s go get him baby.” Em grabs my arm and twirls me around. “You do look hot J.” 

“Thanks, now let’s go.” 

We get to Babylon and there is a good large group of people here. As usual, I get a few offers and a few pinches, but Em stops them with just a look. He knows I am still a little freaked when people do that. 

I look around and spot Brian on the dance floor with Michael. I look at Em and smile. 

“Well, go get him baby.” He smiles at me and I nod, making my way to the dance floor, and towards Brian.

I make my way out onto the dance floor and look back at Emmett who is talking to the bar tender while watching me. The gang is watching me, all but Michael, who is dancing with Brian.

I walk over to them and lean up against Brian’s chest. Pulling his body near mine. He leans his head back against my shoulder with his eyes closed.

“Hey Sunshine, I thought you wouldn’t make it tonight.” He whispers to me.

“How did you know it was me?” I ask him, licking his neck.

“I know your body and how it feels when it touches mine, and I know your smell.” He turns around and opens his eyes and looks at me. 

“DAMN, Sunshine, you look amazing.” Brian looks me up and down and smirks. “What is that look you have?” He asks me.

“Well, I thought we could dance a few dances and head back to your place for some fun.” He looks at me for a second before smiling and nodding his head.

“You got it Sunshine.” He says as he pulls me into his arms to dance. We grind into each other and I lean up, licking his neck. “If you don’t stop we won’t get a few dances, we will have to leave right away.” He laughs at me.

We dance a few dances and see that people are watching us together. I turn around and put my back to his chest. I lean my head back. 

“Let’s get out of here and go home.” He whispers in my ear. I simply nod my head and look to find Emmett and he nods his head, knowing we are leaving. He walks over and hugs me.

“Do what you need to baby.” He whispers to me.

“And you Kinney, look out for him.” He gives Brian a warning look as Brian nods his head.

We walk out of the club. “Your car or mine?” He asks me.

“Well due to the fact that I came with E, I think best to take your car.” I grin at him. 

“Oh, you had this all planned.” He laughs when I simply nod my head.

I have him stop by Emmett’s car to get my bag out before heading to the loft. The ride was short in spite of the sexual tension that I get when around him.

Once we arrive at the loft we head upstairs. He opens the door and we step in. I throw myself at him before he could shut the door. 

“Whoa, Sunshine, let me shut the door first.” He laughs as he shuts the door, setting the alarm and leans against the door, smiling.

“Ok, now you may ravish me.” As I laugh and jump into his arms. 

We tear each other’s clothes off and he carries me to the bed, where he prepares me and making me feel alive again. He makes love to me with a passion that only I get to see in Brian.

He kisses my neck as he gets close. Placing his hand on my dick, stroking it in rhythm with his thrusts. As we both reach earth-shattering orgasms, he kisses my mouth.

He lies on top of me, catching his breath and not pulling out of me until the last minute. “I love the feel of just being there.” He tells me.

“Me too.” I repeat back to him. Kissing his neck after saying it.

After lying like that which felt like a short time, but in reality was for, quite a while he gets up and goes and gets us some water. I get up and move to the couch. He comes and sits next to me.

“I’m ready, Brian.” I tell him.

“For what, Sunshine?” He leans his head on me.

“For this.” I repeat as I hand him the file, which Emmett gave me before we left. I fold in half and stuck it on my back pocket.

He leans up and looks at the file and then at me. Shaking his head and handing it back. “I want you to tell me. When you are ready.” He tells me and I kiss him and smile. 

“Thanks, but I want you to know, but I don’t think I can say the words. Please Brian. I am giving you permission to read it.” I say in a low voice.

“Ok, come here.” He pulls me closer to him. “I want you right here as I read this. I want to share this with you.” He kisses my forehead and opens the file. I nod my head, close my eyes and hold my breath, waiting for it all to hit him at once.


	4. Queens and Kings

PLEASE SEE WARNINGS: ALSO I FIXED CHAPTER 2 SINCE I WAS MISSING 4 PAGES FROM BJFIC ON IT> PLEASE RE READ 2 AND THE REST WILL MAKE MORE SENSE> SORRY FOR THE CONFUSION.  
First I want to thank my beta TC, she's doing a great job. Next I HAVE to thank KAMI for everything she has done to help me with this chapter. It tore me apart writing this and the next chapter. But well worth it. Kami.. thank you thank you thank you. You don't know how much you helped on this. Love ya much. And thx to the gang who keeps pushing me into more..lol

* * *

Brian’s POV:

I look at Justin and smile before I start to read the file that he has given me permission to read.

 

Full Name: Justin Craig Taylor

Date of Birth: May 3, 1984

Birthplace: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Current Age: 20yrs.

Hair: Blond

Eyes: Blue

Race: Caucasian 

 

Justin is the eldest son of Jennifer and Craig Taylor. The Taylor’s resided in Pittsburgh until Justin was three years old when Craig Taylor was relocated to Clarksdale, Mississippi for work. 

Justin also had a younger sister Molly Taylor who passed away at the age of seven. The results of the autopsy concluded that the younger Taylor was not killed from an accidental hit and run as was originally reported but was actually the victim of sexual abuse. When examined there was found extensive damage to the vaginal and anal areas resulting in internal bleeding and caused of death. Layers upon layers or scar tissue were removed indicating that the abuse had been going on for quite some time. Craig Taylor was questioned repeatedly after his wife was found to not be a factor in the case. He immediately confessed that Justin was molesting his sister and he had recently found out. Justin was sent to a Juvenile Detention Center.

While Justin was in the Detention Center, Jennifer Taylor committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning. A note was discovered by police that was later confirmed to be the actual hand writing of Mrs. Taylor.

The letter stated that Craig Taylor had abused and sexually molested his children for as long as she could remember. He beat Justin and often used him as the target of all of his rage, when the family moved to Mississippi, Jennifer stated that Craig often repeatedly had sex with Justin and on more than one occasion he offered Justin to his many clients and colleges for sexual favors. When Justin was 8 years old Craig began to force his two children to perform sexual acts on one another. He often beat both of them repeatedly in front of the other and burned them with cigarettes. Justin had so many cigarette burns the doctors said it was a miracle that he was still alive. When Molly died Craig wasted no time telling Justin that he had killed his sister and if he did not do the things he said the police would come to get him.

Craig often put the children in the closet where he left them for days without food or water. He also was known to never let Jennifer out of his sight. Justin and his sister were often made to stay in their own feces for days on end until he permitted them to take a bath. He was also known to cut the children and then pour alcohol on to the wounds. When Molly was found she weighed only 23 pounds at the age of 7 and had five broken ribs and a punctured lung, the doctor said it was a miracle that she lived as long as she did. Justin was treated for broken bones, kidney failure, malnutrition and numerous cuts and bruises but he never once alleged that his father was the cause of any of these problems. He was also treated for numerous sexually transmitted diseases.

Most of the claims in this file were reported by Mrs. Jennifer Taylor in a suicide note that was found along side her body. Because they were only allegations and Justin Taylor refused to press charges Craig Taylor was not arrested and walks free of all charges even though the District Attorney was willing to try for a conviction without Justin’s statement. Mrs. Taylor also stated that on numerous occasions Justin would seek shelter at the neighbor Emmett Honeycutt’s house when Craig’s abuse proved too much. She thanked Emmett for helping Justin and protecting him as much as he could. 

At the time this is all that is known about the events that took place in the Taylor household. Justin never reported the range of his abuse or confided in anyone except Mr. Honeycutt. Craig made sure that Justin was ‘not available for comment’ when the suicide and abuse reports surfaced. Justin was released from the Detention Center after further autopsy reports found that Justin was too young to cause the damage that resulted in his sister’s death, his record was cleared.

 

I hold onto Justin as I read the file. He won’t look at me nor will he open his eyes. I squeeze him closer to let him know that what I am reading doesn’t make me see him differently. I finish reading it and put it down.

I can’t believe the shit he went through. 

“Fuck Justin, you make me look like a wimp.” I smile at him to show that it wasn’t meant in a bad way.

“Now do you understand Brian? Why I didn’t want you to know my past. I don’t want pity, Brian.” He tells me.

“I won’t give you pity, Justin. I understand but you have to understand this too.” I lean over and lightly kiss him lips. “What is in that folder, it doesn’t change how I feel about you and it sure as hell, don’t make you different now that I know. You are stronger than them and you got through it and whatever ghosts are coming back, we will get rid of them together. What happened to you is fucked up, but they couldn’t tear you up baby. You are still you and much stronger than anyone I know. Justin, listen to me, I know people will say that you are a better person because of it, but that’s bullshit. You should be an even bigger asshole than me. But you aren’t. You would have been just as a great with this on your past or not. I would still love you no matter what.

 

“Thanks Brian. I just feel, I don’t know…dirty and I hate crowds even to this day. That’s why I zone out in Woody’s and Babylon. Em does his best to help me get through it. I wanted to make love to you first before you read it, just in case you decided you didn’t want to have anything to do with me after you read it.” He looks away from me. I turn his head back towards me, lean in and kiss him. 

“Sunshine, this…” I say holding up the file. “This has no effect on how much I want you. I am proud that you beat this. I am proud to have you in my life and I want it to stay that way. I know that Emmett worries about me with you but I won’t hurt you. I will do everything I can to protect you.” I rub his arm and squeeze the top of it. Man what my Sunshine went through it’s horrible and I would do anything in my power to help him. 

“Actually it was E who told me to trust you and to give you the chance. That you would understand some of what I went through.” He wipes a tear from his eye. “Now I am going to cry like some faggot.”

I turn him around to look at me. “Don’t ever say that. Crying isn’t just what faggots do. We cry, we get stronger. Crying isn’t a bad thing Justin. I know my father used to tell me to be a man and don’t cry, that men don’t cry it makes them sissies. We are gay men and is okay to cry. It shows you are human. Justin, you been through hell and back so many times and I am so glad you had Emmett. And the only thing it changes on how I feel about you is I have a lot more respect for you and I have a greater understanding on you. It doesn’t make me want to run it makes me want to be like you. To be strong like you and Justin, you didn’t kill your sister. You know that right.” He nods his head. 

“Good, now, we can just forget the past and work on the now, on our future. Now is what I have here with you and the future is something I am looking forward to, with you in it. Justin, give me this chance.” 

“You are serious. I thought knowing would make you cringe to even look at me.” 

“Hell no, Sunshine. It makes me want to keep looking at you. Maybe your strength will rub off on me, or at least something else can rub off on me.” I say seductively. 

“Brian that is something that can be arranged.” He leans over to kisses me and I feel all my self-control leave my body. He makes love to me twice and I make love to him three times. 

We fall asleep and when I wake up, I look around to find Justin. When I find him he is in the living room, looking at the folder and wiping a tear at a picture of his mom and sister.

 

JUSTIN’S POV:

“Justin?” Brian walks up to me. I got up because I had a bad dream and didn’t want to wake Brian. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” I look down at the picture of my mom and sister, the last one of them before Molly died and mom fell apart and killed herself. “I should just forget everything that happened.”

Brian sits next to me and puts his arms around me. “It’s ok to cry, its ok to miss them, but it’s NOT okay for you to forget them. There are a few good things in the past, thing that don’t need to be buried. You can’t change the past Justin, but you can make sure you make the best of your future. They should be part of your future, baby. You keep them alive in your heart and mind. ” 

“I know, but I should have been stronger. I should have done something. Molly begged me to help. But I couldn’t get up off the floor. Brian I watched my father rape my sister.” I start to sob and he pulls me into him and lets me cry. 

After I have my queened out moment, I look into Brian’s eyes, thinking I would see pity, but it’s not pity at all. But admiration and fuck, love. 

I get up and move away. “Justin, what’s wrong?” 

“Brian, I was fucked by my own father, and was forced to have sex with my sister and my mother along with half of my father’s business partners. I look into your eyes and see something that fucking terrifies me. I really care for you and I think I am falling for you but it’s not what should happen. We had sex, but I am so not worth loving.” I choke out the words. 

“That’s fucking bullshit Justin! First off, it wasn’t just sex, we made love, Justin. Second, you deserve more than anyone I know. He fucking didn’t deserve you. As for what he MADE you do, that has no effect on how I feel about you. I don’t see you as dirty or a slut or anything. Just Justin.” He takes my face in his hands. “Just my, baby…my Sunshine.” I nod my head leaning into him. 

“As for what you saw in my eyes, it’s how I feel Justin. I can’t change how I feel about you. I was a goner the first time I met you with Emmett. Don’t you know the power you have over me? Justin, I fell for you the moment I met you and even more so knowing who you are.” 

“But…” I try to say but he won’t let me finish that thought.

“No Justin, Listen to me. You are incredible in so many ways. You make me a better man. You make me want to be like you. Don’t put yourself down like that. You are better then any of them. Please understand that rather you were a saint or the devil himself, I would still feel this way about you. It’s not an option.” He tells me and wipes my tears with his fingers. 

“I still can’t believe you all thought I was E’s boyfriend. Not that we didn’t have crushes when we lived next door to each other. I never said anything, knowing my father would kill me. But I think it was more because he was saving me from my father.” I try to smile remembering those days Em would hold me in his arms, keeping me safe.

That was the end of that discussion as we both started to yawn, laughing. “I guess we should get some sleep.” Brian puts his arms around me, walking me into the bedroom. 

 

The next day we got up and showered together, making love as Brian calls it now. I know I seem to make fun of it, but it’s just hard for me to see myself being truly loved. It scares me but fascinates me as well. How someone, so incredible as Brian could love someone like me. 

I walk into the kitchen to start the coffee when there is a knock on the door. Brian opens it and in walks Michael.

“Hey, Mikey.” Brian hugs him.

“Hey Bri, what you doing?” 

“Justin is making coffee and lunch.” Brian tells him looking at the clock and smiling.

“Justin’s here?” I hear him as I walk towards them. 

“Yes, I am here.” I smile at him.

“Hey, Justin, glad to see you are okay.” He hugs me; I look at Brian as he shrugs.

“Uh, thanks Michael.” I say, feeling a bit tense from the contact, even though he seems nice. I still have a rough time with people touching me. Brian sees me tense and comes over and slides his hands around my waist, pushing Michael away. “Mine.” is all Brian said as he kisses my neck. 

“Ok, I am not after your boyfriend.” Michael laughs out.

“Would you like a sandwich?” I ask him

“Sure.” I walk into the kitchen and continue making the sandwiches. When I come back to the living room, Michael is sitting on the couch talking to Brian.

I hand them their ham and cheese sandwiches and drinks. I take a seat on the chair and Brian looks at me and pulls me over to sit next to him. “Michael isn’t going to hurt you Sunshine.” I nod my head. He knows I still am a little shaking up.

Pretty soon we are all laughing and joking around. Michael leaves and Brian and I are alone, sitting on the couch with me leaning against his chest.

“Brian thanks for today. It was nice to laugh. It’s just with my dad coming into my fucking life again and then with you and the file. You have been there for me. I know that you care for me, but I want you to know something. I can’t promise not to freak out again.” 

“Well, if you do, I will be there to help you through it. As long as I am around, I won’t let anything happen to you.” He kisses my head and I get this feeling in my pants.

“Brian?” I say quietly

“Yes, Justin.” 

“I’m horny.” I laugh and giggle while saying it.

“Well, we should fix that.” As he moves his hand into my pants and starts to stroke me. Never taking his eyes off the TV. 

“Brian.” I whisper.

He starts stroking faster and usually by now he has me naked with either, his tongue, finger or dick up my ass.

I try to turn around and he stops me. “No, Sunshine, stay put right where you are. I’m into this movie.” He tells me as he continues to stroke my cock.

I lean my head against him and let him stroke me. When I start to move my hips he takes my legs and spreads them over his legs. He then puts his fingers into my mouth to be licked. I suck on them for a few minutes before he puts the hand into my pants, bypassing the stroking hand and pushing into my twitching ass. I lean my head back and moan as he bites my neck. 

“Cum for me, Justin.” He says seductively. He pulls his finger out and then pushes in three and twirling them around inside I shudder at his touch. He licks my neck. 

“You are safe with me. I won’t ever hurt you. Let me love you, Justin.” He whispers into my ear as he strokes faster and pushes finger fucks me with four fingers. He can tell that I am close so he twirls those four fingers and strokes and as I start to cum. He bits my neck and then whispers in my ear. “I am here to love you. To make you feel good. I love you, Sunshine.” As he said the words he bits into my neck one last time and I shoot the rest of my load into his hand as his other probes inside my ass.

He takes both hands out and licks the one with my cum on it and smiles at me. “Better?” And I simply nod my head, smiling.

“Good now lets finish watching the movie.” He kisses my neck. And we snuggle back into each other.

“Brian?” I say after a few minutes. 

“Yes, Justin?” He makes it sound like he’s annoyed but I know him better. 

“I love you too.” I tell him and he just pulls me closer to him, and kisses my neck.

 

**Outside the loft**

Craig’s POV:

I look at the building across the street before going to it. I followed Justin here last night. I star walking around the building and I stop near a window to see Justin and some guy talking. I am standing here watching my son, my only son getting jerked off by that fucking man. He took everything from me, and Justin, you will pay for this. For all of the heartache you have giving me.

I watched him with that man the other night as well. He seems to be close to him. Another fucking fag. 

 

First was that fucking Emmett and now the whole fucking gang of queers. Yes, I fucked my son, but it isn’t because I’m a fag, but it was the best way to punish that fucking brat. 

I get angrier watching them together. I will make you pay for all of this Justin Taylor. ALL of it.

I walk away coming up with the plan to tear down my son and smile as I also think I am glad the fucker lives in a duplex loft. Just better to watch and get more ammo to hurt, no not hurt but punish my son severely. I walk back to the entrance and look at the name in the mail box. 

Enjoy him while you can Kinney because you won’t be able to protect him forever.


	5. Queens and Kings

**WARNING!! This chapter has rape and child abuse.**

I want to thank my beta Carly for doing a great job. I also want to thank Sid for her help in this chapter. It was a hard chapter to write, thanks for making me do it Sid. DAMN DA MAN! And also thanks to the girls. **Please read warning before reading.**

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JUSTIN POV:

As Brian, Em and I sit here on the couch, watching the end of a movie, Emmett stands up and goes to the closet. He pulls out a few little gifts as well as a huge one. 

“Damn it Em, I told you not to get me anything.” I laugh at the way he looks at me.

“And how many times do I have to tell you, it’s my decision little boy. Please don’t make a drama movie out of this, baby. Just open them.” I nod and move to take the little ones.

I open the first one and it’s a new set of painting brushes and drawing pencils. The next was a big easel and sketchpads and paper. 

“These are beautiful, E. Thank you.” I hug him tightly.

“Well I figured you could use the them now.” I nod my head and look at the bigger one and smile.

“Go ahead baby, open it. It’s from me and Brian” I look at Brian who just grins and nods.

I open it up to find a life-size picture of my mom and sister. I run my hand down it and feel a tear run down my face. 

“It’s beautiful,” I stutter out.

“We wanted you to have something to hang on the wall. I told you Sunshine, that it’s okay to remember them and this way everyone will see just how beautiful they both were.” Brian hugs me from the back and I lean into him.

“And I have the perfect place for you to hang it,” Brian whispers into my ear. 

I look around and see Em smiling and look at Brian. “Where?” I ask.

“In the living room, above the panel,” he tells me.

“But Brian, that’s your place.” I can’t finish my thought as he hands me a box. I look at him and he leans in and kisses my lips. “Open it Sunshine.”

I open it to find a key chain with a key on it and look at Brian. “Is this what I think it is?” I ask him.

“Yes, it’s a key to the loft.” Brian smiles. “I want you to move in with me, Justin. Plus there is a surprise there as well.” I look at Emmett who is smiling at me.

“Can we go now?” I ask excitedly.

“What do you think Em?” Brian turns to Emmett.

“Well, I don’t know Brian. What do you think?” 

“Oh come on guys, pleeeeasssssse.” I begin begging. 

They both start laughing and Brian comes over and puts his arms around me. “I love when you beg.” 

“Brian, if I promise to beg later, can we please go?” I do my best sunshine smile and he puts his hand over his heart. “Oh the sunshine smile, how can I turn that down. Ok let’s go.” I jump up and down as we move to the door and we head over to Brian’s. No. Our loft.

We pull up in front of the building and get out. As we walk towards the door Brian grabs my arm, smiling and shaking his head. 

“Emmett, you know what to do.” And E starts jumping and clapping as he pulls out the blindfold and puts it on me. 

He walks me inside and up the stairs. “Ok we are upstairs in the loft.” I say and they both laugh.

“Very observant Sunshine, since we pulled up here.” Brian laughs out. 

“Ok Sunshine, when we take this off, don’t have a fit.” 

“Briiian.” I start to whine and they laugh again. “Ok, here we go.” He slowly takes the blindfold off and wraps his arms around me. I look around and feel emotions balling up in me. 

“Oh my god. Brian?” I turn to him. 

“Well you need a studio and up here there is more light.” He tells me through his smile.

I look around again at what he did to the room. He added a large room and had them come in and remove some walls and replace them with windows. There are a few easels with some of my paintings on them as well as hanging on the wall.

“It’s fucking awesome. I love it.” I squeal and jump into Brian’s arms and kiss him.

“See Brian, I told you it was perfect. Do I know J’s taste or what?” We all start laughing again.

I run over and hug Emmett. “Thanks E, you guys are the best.” 

Emmett hugs me tightly while whispering to me. “I know Baby, I love you.”

“Love you too E,” I whisper back.

“Well why don’t we go out and celebrate?” Brian breaks the silence in the air. 

“Let’s go. You know I love to party,” Emmett says laughing.

We head off to Babylon and dance the night away. Brian even had them play the first song we danced to. I can’t believe he remembered what it was. 

We head back to the loft where Brian makes love to me most the night. When I wake up Brian is already up and dressed in his work suit. I roll over and smile at him. “Can’t you take the day off?” 

“Wish I could Sunshine, but I have a few meetings today that I can’t cancel. What are your plans today?” He leans over and kisses me. 

“I’m going to go finish getting stuff from E’s house and bring it over.” 

“Well why don’t you wait on the last load until I get there. We can bring the stuff together.” I nod my head.

“Good, now make sure you set the alarm when you leave.” I yawn and once again he kisses me before heading to the door. 

“Love you Sunshine.” He yells and my heart stops beating once again.

“Love you to Brian” I yell back. “Be careful.” 

“Call me later.” 

“Ya later.” Then I hear the door shut.

I get up to start my day. I have a shower and breakfast before heading over to Em’s to pack up what little I do have. When I get there Emmett is walking out the door. 

“Have a good day E.” I shout out to him. He comes over and kisses me. “You too Baby.” Then he is out the door, on his way to make the world a brighter place.

I spent the day packing what little I have with me and pick up the phone to call Brian.

“Hey Sunshine.” Brian answers his phone.

“How did you? Oh never mind. Caller ID.”

“Very bright. What’s up baby?” 

“Was wondering where you were.” 

“I had a late meeting. I should be there shortly.” He tells me.

“Ok, I’ll be ready.” 

“Later sexy,” Brian whispers into the phone.

“Ya later stud.” I hang up the phone and get a drink. I smile at the thought of moving in with Brian. Things are looking up. 

At least they were until there was a knock on the door. Opening it I find Craig standing there, right before I feel his fist hit my face.

I hit the floor and as I get up I feel his foot hit my stomach. “You fucking fag, I will teach you to fucking piss me off. I will show you discipline that you have so forgotten.” He repeats to kick me and I try to get up, but he grabs my hair and pulls me up. He punches me again in my face. 

“Dad, please don’t.” I begin to beg as I have so many times before. 

“Shut the fuck up. You knew this was going to happen. You ran here to Emmett and then shack up with another fag, twice your fucking age.” He grabs my chin and turns it up to him. 

“I love him.” 

“Bullshit Justin. You don’t love him and he fucking doesn’t love you. He uses your tight ass for his own pleasures. That’s all you have ever been good for. To let men or women use you as a sex slut.” 

I can feel the blood running down my face again as he continues to talk and rage, hitting me every few sentences. 

“You really believe someone could love you Justin? You are nothing but a fucking whore. A slut. Someone who killed his sister.” 

“I didn’t,” I started to say but felt him hit me again, but this time it was with the belt he picked up, one of Emmett’s. 

“I didn’t tell you to fucking talk Justin.” 

I have to stop this. But he starts to ramble on again.

“You killed your sister and your mother. You mother was going to tell all about the abuse so I knocked her out and put her in the car and turned the car on. She was dead before she knew it. But the fucking bitch had a letter in her purse.”

“I didn’t kill Molly. You did by raping her. And mom, oh god, I knew you did it.”

He smiles at me before walking around me. I am not going to let him win this time. I have to fight back. He grabs my arm and I turn and swing at him, making contact with his lip. He puts his hand to his lip and feels blood and smiles at me.

“You are going to pay for that Justin.” He grabs me again as I am reaching for something to hit him with. He puts his arm around my neck and squeezes it. “Drop it son, don’t fucking be stupid.” 

I think about it and don’t drop it but swing the fire poker at him and he hits me in the back of the knees before I had it over my head, making me fall to the floor. He grabs it from me and hits my leg with it and I scream in pain.

I can feel him over me breathing on my neck. “You are fucking going to pay for that you little fag.” He sneers as he is pulling at my pants. I try once again to move away but he punches me in the face once again and for a moment, the room is spinning. I am being spun around and feel my father rip my pants down. 

“Dad, don’t please.” I begin to beg. 

“I love hearing you beg.” He laughs out and he grabs my hair so I can’t get away again.

“You are such a hot little piece of ass. That’s why I used it for my benefit.” I feel his finger dive into my hole and I scream out in pain. He covers my mouth with the other hand and pulls out and shoves four fingers in me at once. Stretching me out. 

He reaches down and strokes my cock. “Get fucking hard Justin.” And I can’t do it. I won’t do it.

He pulls his fingers out and slams them into me, as hard as he can. Pulling them out and then feeling in one swift motion I feel his dick in me. With no lube, or a condom.

“STOOOOOP” I scream and he slaps my ass laughing. 

“I love hearing you begging and pleading.” As he pulls out and slams into me, pretty soon he has his rhythm going and pounding into me. I cling to the couch cushion as he pulls my body up farther to him, pushing my head into the cushion on the couch.

I can feel my insides being ripped and I hear my father, moaning as he plunges into my ass. I can feel myself dying inside again. I feel the tears are mixed with his own blood. He pushes me to the floor where my head lands on the picture of my mom and sister. I can see the blood and tears form a pool and runs with the color of the picture and their faces turn in a red haze. 

“He will never fucking love you. You little cunt. You will never be loved. You don’t deserve it you little shit. You are nothing but a whore.” 

 

BRIAN POV:

I ran into Emmett coming up the stairs.

“Hey Brian” Em squeals.

“Hey Em, just came to pick up some Sunshine.” He smiles at me as we reach the door. I can hear Justin.

“Brian.” It was like a whisper. I look at Emmett who smiles. 

“He’s probably jerking off thinking about you,” he tells me.

“I hope its me he’s thinking of.” And we both laugh, knowing how Justin is, he wouldn’t be in there with anyone else, or think of anyone else.

Then we hear a faint voice as we open the door.

“Stop calling his name you little fucking ass, he doesn’t love you and he never will.” I look in and my body freezes when I see Justin, on the floor with blood and tears and his father fucking him. No, raping him.

Emmett and I both run over and we pull him off Justin, who just lies there, after we get him off him. 

I lean down and touch Justin but he flinches. I move over to Craig and punch him in the face. “How fucking dare you tell him I don’t love him and he doesn’t deserve it. He deserves it and I love him.” 

As I lean back down to Justin he jumps up and moves away from me. I see his face and the way he moves that he is in pain. He holds onto his stomach as he backs up into the wall.

“Justin, go and wash up a little.” Emmett tells him. “Justin.” Justin looks at Emmett and nods and walks into the bathroom.

“You fucking son of a bitch.” I hear Emmett yelling.

I turn around and get in his face. “I love him, and you know nothing about love. You are going to pay for this you fucking asshole. NO ONE hurts Justin.” 

Emmett looked at me still holding him and as I went to hit him I see him bend over. 

“I couldn’t help it.” Emmett smiles.

“You kicked him in the balls. Good one.” I tell him and go to raise my fist when I see Emmett’s eyes widen in a direction off me. I turn around to see Justin, standing there with blood and tears on his face and pointing a gun at Craig. I saw Justin as he stood there with that gun with the tears and the blood staining his face, and my heart rested in his. I felt everything that Craig had done to him and we were one, I could see the blood that Justin had got on his hand drip from his gun hand as he had it out stretched. 

“Justin, honey put the gun down.” I say, moving towards him. He doesn’t move, he’s just looking straight at Craig and I have never seen this look on Justin. The look he has in his eyes.

I stand in front of him and he looks right through me. I am really worried about him. I reach out and he backs away. 

“Brian.” Emmett comes up next to me, placing his hand on my arm, shaking his head. “Don’t. He doesn’t know where he is in his head. Just move away.” I nod my head, moving away.

Emmett gets right up by him “Justin, baby, I need to concentrate on my voice.” Emmett slowly moves closer to Justin.

“He’s not going to shoot me, he’s a fucking coward!” Craig yells laughing. Emmett looks at me and I nod, standing between Justin and Craig. It’s not that he doesn’t deserve to be shot.

I have more respect for Emmett as I watch him with Justin. 

“Justin, Baby, concentrate on my voice. You are safe now. He won’t hurt you. We won’t let him, but Justin, you don’t want the blood of your father’s death on your conscious. Justin, love, please. I know you can hear me. You don’t want this in your mind. He will pay for what he did, just not by your hands.” 

“Em?” I hear Justin’s soft voice. 

“Yes baby, it’s me, keep coming back to me. I promise you. I know you are hurting, and the fucking bastard will pay. Justin I need you to look at me.” Justin slowly looks away from Craig and looks into Emmett’s face with tears running down his face. “Em?” he said again as Emmett wipes Justin’s face with his hand. 

“Yes, baby, it’s me. Give me the gun. You don’t want this on your conscious.” He strokes Justin’s cheek and I slowly see the Justin we all know come back into his mind. He drops the gun to his side and Em pulls him into a bear hug. Running his hand down Justin’s arm and taking the gun out of his hand Justin wraps himself around Emmett’s body. 

“I knew he wouldn’t do it.” I see Justin start to tense up.

“Brian.” Em looks at me.

“What?” 

“Why don’t you take Justin dressed and take in to get checked out. I will finish up stuff here.” I nod my head as I slowly walk over and stroke Justin’s head. He looks at me with a sad look. 

He moves into my arms. “I won’t hurt you.” I whisper into his hair while helping him walk into the room. 

“I know,” he softly says. 

“I love you Justin. What he said was lies. I love you,” I repeat to him.

“I know.” I help him with his pants and I know it’s hurting him. “I love you Brian. I am so sorry.” He says quietly. 

“No need to be sorry. I am here now.” He leans on me as we walk out. 

“Justin,” Craig starts to say and I look at him. 

“Shut up Craig.” Emmett tells him in a stern voice.

“Take him Brian, I will finish up here and call the cops.” I nod my head. 

“Thanks Em.” I tell him. Justin hugs him and Em kisses him and whispers into his ear loud enough for me to hear. “Brian will take care of you, don’t worry Baby, he loves you. So do I.” 

Justin nods his head as we walk out. We move slowly to the elevator because Justin is too sore to walk down the stairs. As we are waiting, we hear a gun shot coming from where we just came from. Justin looks up at me with fear in his eyes. 

My entire body tenses up. He didn’t? He couldn’t have. Shit..

“Emmett?” Justin says pulling away and heading back to the apartment. I grab his arm, scared of what we will find when we open the door.


	6. Queens and Kings

Thanks again to my wonderful beta on this story, Carly. Also thanks to the girls and a special thanks to Sid for all her help on this story. And for helping me with getting through it. You are the best Sid. Love ya. Thanks to my 'fans' as well. Feedback welcome.Enjoy.

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Brian POV:

I take hold of Justin’s hand and I feel him shaking. He pulls away from me to open the door. 

“Em?” Justin says again as he slowly rushes in. He is still in pain from the massive beaten he took from his father. I don’t know what is going on in the apartment so I grab his arm and pull him behind me.

“I don’t need you hurt anymore Sunshine,” I whisper to him, he simply nods. 

“Emmett,” he whispers again.

We open the door the rest of the way and slowly walk in. Once inside we see Emmett standing over Craig’s body. 

“Oops,” Is all Emmett had to said

Justin runs into Emmett’s arms. “I was scared you were hurt.” 

“I’m fine, Baby,” Em tells Justin holding him. Justin then moves away and looks at his father’s lifeless body. I look from Craig to Emmett to Justin and he seems to be in shock now.

“Justin.” I walk up behind him and put my arms around his waist. He slumps into them.

“Em?” I look at Emmett and he sees Justin’s state and is by his side in an instant. He takes Justin into his own arms and rubs his back, kissing his head.

“I told you I would handle it and that he would never hurt you again,” he tells Justin.

“But you killed him. You told me not to.” Justin puts his head onto Em even more visibly shaken.

“Yes. I had to. Baby, I didn’t want his blood on your hands or on your conscious, but I don’t care if it’s on mine. I can handle it and you do you know why?” Justin shakes his head and Emmett continues. “Because I love you and I am always going to look out for you.” He kisses Justin on the forehead again.

“You were supposed to call the cops Em,” I let out, both of them jump from my voice.

“Oh ya.” Em looks at Justin’s face. “Are you okay? You aren’t mad at me? The last thing I want to do is hurt you more Justin.” Justin looks straight at him and shakes his head.

“No, I would have done it. I hated him. I hate seeing dead bodies though. After Molly, and my mom. I just don’t think I can handle it anymore.” He walks into the bedroom. I look at Emmett.

“They had an open casket for his sister because Craig wanted Justin to see what he did to his sister, even though it wasn’t his fault. At the time Justin believed it all. And he is the one who found his mother’s lifeless body. Both destroyed Justin. Brian, I couldn’t let him go to jail and get out and come back to hurt him again. I love Justin way too much to let that happen.” He looks down at the floor. “I can deal with jail knowing Justin is safe now. That he has you to take care of him.”

“Holy Shit. You are in love with Justin?” I can see it now.

“Brian, Justin’s a great guy. So yes, always was and always will be, but he is in love with you and I would never do anything to come between you two. He deserves to be happy and you make him happy. Justin and I have a history together. He IS my best friend, and no we never had sex. The reason is that sex isn’t the foundation of our relationship, friendship. Just take care of him.”

I nod my head knowing he was telling me the truth. There is a silent promise made between us. He picks up the phone and dial a number.

“Hi this is Emmett Honeycutt at 126 Jones Drive, apartment 306. I just shot an asshole who was raping my friend and came at me.” He looks at me and shrugs.

After a few more quick answers he hangs up and we go to check on Justin. He is sitting on the bed. As he lifts his head we can see the tears running down his blood-dried hands. We rush to him, sitting on either side of him. We both put an arm around him. He leans into Emmett. I would normally be jealous but I know the ‘foundation’ of their relationship, friendship. 

“I can’t believe it’s finally over,” he cries into Emmett’s shoulder while I rub his back.

Once he calms himself down we both look to Emmett to get answers on what happened when there is a knock on the door. “Saved by the bell,” Emmett lets out. “Here, take him, I’ll get the door.” Justin then slides into my arms 

“Don’t leave me, please,” Justin whispers to me. 

“I won’t baby, ever.” I whisper to him.

Once the cops have been let in they have the paramedics look over Justin, as much as he would let them. He doesn’t want anyone to touch him but Em and me. He won’t let go of one or both of our hands. 

The officer questions Justin, but stops as Justin starts to have a breakdown. 

“It’s okay Mr. Taylor. The wounds speak for themselves and with Mr. Kinney’s and Mr. Honeycutt’s statements, we should have plenty.” Em and I nod our silent thanks to the officer who looks at Justin and back to us, nodding as well. I hold Justin close to me, glad that he is letting me near him, but still won’t let Emmett out of sight or too far away from him.

“Okay, Mr. Honeycutt, would you please tell us what happened, in your own words.” The officer tells him.

“Sure thing cutie.” Emmett looks at Justin and me.

 

Emmett POV:

I start to fill them in from when Brian and I walked in. I get to the point about Justin and the gun, due to fact that they will figure out Justin’s prints are on it as well.

“So Mr. Taylor had hold of the gun first?”

“Yes sir.” He nods and I go on. I as reach the point when I had Brian take Justin out, they both look up at me, waiting for the rest of what happened behind closed doors.

“Once they were out the door I walked over to Craig and told him to be a man and try something with me.” __

_I walk over to Craig, grabbing his balls by my hand._

_“Not so fucking big. So why don’t you try something with me you piece of shit. I am not afraid of you, and I will NOT let you hurt him anymore. Come on try something so I can rip your fucking balls off and put them on my wall as a souvenir.” I sneer at him_

_“FUCK!” Craig pants out._

_“What you did to Justin, Jennifer and poor Molly was wrong. I am going to make you pay for it and make sure you never fucking touch him again. I love him way too much. More then you ever did.”_

_“I’m going to fucking kill you and then that little slut,” Craig snaps out._

_I laugh at him and when he goes to swing at me, I twist his balls tighter and put the gun to his stomach._

_“Wrong fucking answer asshole.”_

 

Back in the present I look at the cop. “And that’s when you shot him?” I nod my head

“Yes sir, that’s when I shot him.” I look to Justin who is holding my hand.

“Mr. Taylor, do you or Mr. Kinney have anything more to add?” The officer asks them.

“No,” they both say in unison.

Justin leans into me and I kiss his head as I stand up. “I love you Baby,” I whisper to him as I hand him off to Brian. As I see Brian take him in his arms and Justin lean into him, I know he will take care of my Baby.

“Okay, that’s all we need for now. We will call you if we need more. Mr. Taylor, I advice you to get checked out. You could have some internal bleeding.” The officer looks to Brian and me. “Take care of him.” And Brian nods.

“I’m not going to jail?” I ask the cop.

“No, you were protecting your lover and yourself.” he tells me with a smile.

“No, I was protecting my best friend and his lover as well as myself.” I look at Brian smiling who smiles back at me.

 

We take Justin to the hospital where he insisted we go with him and went crazy when they said only one of us could go back. But seeing Justin’s state they made an exception and we both went back with him.

Justin had tearing, symptoms of shock, internal damage to the anal cavity, some scratches and a fractured rib or two from the kicking some really bad bruises not to mention his face is going to be heavily bruised. They put him on some medicine and we take him back to the loft, since it is his new home and my place needs to be cleaned up. Brian told me I could stay here until it is cleaned.

A few nights pass by and each night, Justin would be lying on the floor next to me each morning. One morning I wake to find Justin in the middle of a nightmare. He’s screaming and thrashing. 

Brian comes running out of his room. He has been so good about all this with Justin. I move over, touching his face. “Justin baby, wake up. It’s only a dream.” He bolts straight up and into my arms.

I run my hand through his hair. “It’s okay baby. You are okay. I got you. It was just a dream.” I look at Brian as I point to the kitchen. He nods and goes and gets Justin some water.

“Here Sunshine, drink this.” Brian tells him.

“Thanks,” Justin whispers, taking a sip and his pill with shaky hands.

He leans back into me and closes his eyes. He falls back to sleep and I pick him up and take him to Brian’s bed. I lean over and kiss his head. “It’s going to be ok, I promise.” I leave him to sleep as the pill he took takes effect.

I walk back out into the living room where Brian is sitting on the couch. “How is he?” He asks me.

“Brian, he’s having a really bad time with this. I have always been the one he ran to. It’s a natural thing for him.” I begin to tell him. He simply nods. 

“I understand Emmett. I am just worried about him. I want to see him smile again and not be so afraid of me.” 

“I know, but Brian, whatever you do, don’t fucking give up on him. He needs you as much as he needs me. He is stubborn, but I know you, you are just as stubborn, if not more so. Brian, he is going to pull towards me because it’s his natural way after a tragic incident.”

“Em, I’m fine with it. I know what he went through. It fucking sticks in my mind seeing him covered in blood and tears and scared for his life. I know it’s rough on him. I wish I could have taken his place. I know he is going to be clinging to you right now more then me. I understand the beating and running to your best friend for support. I just want him to know that I am here for him as well.” 

“I know Brian, just give him a little time. I will not leave him and neither will you. I won’t let you leave him. He loves you but right now, he needs to be reassured of everything, every feeling in him is okay to have. His father took a lot from him. He isn’t sure of anything at the moment. But we can’t let him pull away from us. You can’t let him do it to you. In order to beat this fear, he needs us to help him through it. If you give up on him now Kinney I will fucking kill you for hurting him like that. I already killed one man for hurting him. Ok, I wouldn’t kill you but I would hurt you. I mean it Brian, within the next few months, Justin isn’t going to be himself but we have to help him get that back.”

Brian nods his head. “I won’t desert him Em. I do love him.”

I sit next to him and hug him to me. “I know. He will be your Sunshine again someday. I promise.” And for the first time, Brian squeezes me tighter to him in a hug.

We are sitting on the couch when Justin comes out of the room and comes over and sits down next to me, leans his head on me and closes his eyes. “Thanks E.” 

“Hey baby, no need to thank me. You know there isn’t anything in this word I would do for you.” 

“I know.”

I look over to Brian who smiles at me.

Brian POV:

As I watch Justin leans on Emmett’s shoulder and thanks him and I remember a lot of moments like that with Mikey and me. I should be jealous, but how can I be when he saved Justin’s life so many times. 

I can’t wait to have my sunshine back though, and if Em is what Justin needs to get him back, then I’m all for it. I know right now, Emmett seems to be the only one Justin is totally comfortable with. 

“Brian?” I hear Justin say my name. 

“Ya Sunshine?” I look at him.

“I’m sorry.” he tells me.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for. If Emmett is what you need, then I can wait. Just know that I am here for you, for anything. I love you Justin.” 

He looks down and I lean over to lift his chin with my finger and he backs away. “I mean it Justin, I love you more then you know.” He nods his head and leans back on Emmett. 

Emmett smiles at me and nods his approval of what I did.

 

A week has past and Justin still has a rough time letting me touch him. He has cold sweats and nightmares and Emmett seems to be the one he turns to. At first it didn’t bother me, and it still doesn’t, but I just wish he would let me hold him like he lets Emmett.

Emmett keeps telling me to give it time, and I agreed. I won’t give up on my Sunshine but it’s tearing me apart that he won’t let me help him the way he does with Emmett.

Justin is still having nightmares and when I try to wake him he screams and jumps and Emmett comes running in to calm him, or Justin will end up waking himself up and going out to lay with Emmett.

I still go into work and come home to find Justin next to Emmett and then he sees me and he is better. It’s like he’s scared of who will come through the door. 

“It’s just me Sunshine.” I lean over to kiss him and to my amazement he doesn’t pull away. 

“I know.” He tells me, in a sarcastic way. I look at Emmett who smiles.

“Glad to amuse you.” I walk past him to put my stuff down. 

“Justin is cooking dinner.” Emmett tells me as Justin disappears into the kitchen.

“He cooks when he’s in this shit. It takes his mind off it.” I nod at him. I walk into the kitchen to see Justin standing at the stove and stirring something in the pot. 

“What are you cooking?” I ask coming up behind him. He turns quickly and leans into the stove.

“Sorry Jus, didn’t mean to scare you.” 

“Uh it’s ok. We are having stew.” He gives a slight half smile and turns around to stir the soup.

“Smells great.” He nods 

“Thanks.”

An hour later we finish eating and Justin starts cleaning up. I start to help him and he smiles when I start washing the dishes. Ya I’m domestic. 

“Don’t want you to get dish pan hands Sunshine.” He smiles a little bigger, maybe things are looking up some. 

After the dishes were done I go to take a shower and return to hearing Justin and Emmett talking.

“Justin, you need to talk to him. You need to share how you are feeling. He loves you more then anything, and I know you love him. You have to stop being afraid to let him touch you. You did great tonight. I am proud of you baby.” Emmett tells Justin.

“I am trying E, but it’s just, I don’t know why I am so nervous with him. I know he would never hurt me.” Justin answers him.

“No he won’t hurt you. Justin I understand that after everytime your father would do something to you that you would clam up and only trust me. You still can and I am always going to be here for you, but don’t totally shut him out. He is having trouble with this too. It hurts him to see you hurting.”

“I know E. I do, but I just, I don’t know.” 

“Justin you need to talk about this to someone. I am always here and so is Brian. He isn’t going to desert you.” 

“I know, but, I was never one to talk about it. I have a hard time with words, you know that.” 

“I know baby, but he can never harm you again.” I see them hug and Justin moves away when he sees me and walks into the bathroom.

“Thanks Emmett.” I tell him.

“For what?”

“Reminding him that I am here for him. That I won’t desert him.”

“He knows, but he still needs to be reminded.”

Justin comes out of the bathroom and sits down next to me and slowly puts his head on my shoulder. “Can I put my arm around you?” I ask him. He nods and I slowly put it around him. 

Emmett smiles at us before going to take a shower. 

“Brian, I know you care about me, but I really need to take this slow.” He looks at me. I smile at him and nod.

“As slow as you like.” He leans his head back down on me.

“Em told me to talk to you about my feelings. Brian. I know I’m not letting you get to close to me, but it’s not because I don’t love or trust you, I’m just scared and ashamed.” 

“I know baby. I am ok with you and Emmett.” I start to tell him and he stops me.

“Brian, when my dad would do this I would run right to E and he would hold me and make me feel safe. It was the safest place to me. I know I am safe with you, but my system goes on autopilot and heads right to him. I need to do that, for me. It’s nothing against you.”

“It’s okay Sunshine. I will still be here when it’s all over and I will never let anything happen to you again. I understand about you and Em. I am the same way with Mikey. When my father beat me, I would run to Mikey. Not to the full extinct of you and Emmett but it’s ok. I love you and am willing to wait for you to be the old you, the take charge guy.”

“Thanks Bri.” he said yawning.

“Am I interrupting?” Emmett comes out and sees us, smiling.

“Nope, I think I was just about to take my Sunshine to bed.” I get up and take his hand. He hesitates for a minute before standing up with me. He hugs Emmett and kisses him good night as we make our way to the bedroom.

He undresses but leaves his briefs on and lies down on the bed. I lay next to him and he slowly moves over onto me, He kisses my lips and puts his head down again on my chest. I hug him tighter and he sighs.

“Brian, if I end up out with Emmett again, please don’t get mad.” he whispers to me.

“I could never get mad at you for needing your friend Justin. I am here though, when you are comfortable enough to talk to me.” 

“Thanks Brian.” 

“Anything for you Sunshine.” As his breathing labors and the pills take effect, he falls into a sleep. I say a silent prayer to whoever is up there to look out for my Sunshine. I kiss his head one more time “I love you Justin,” I say as I fall into a sleep. 

I wake up to Justin jumping and he slowly gets up. “I’m sorry Brian.” he tells me through tears.

“It’s ok Sunshine, go to your friend.” 

“Come with me.” 

“You don’t need or want me to. I told you I wouldn’t be mad at you.” 

“No please come with me.” He goes to take my hand but pulls back. I get up and take his hand and walk him out to Emmett who sits up as we walk into the room. 

“Brian? Justin?” Em says with sleepy eyes.

I take Justin over to Emmett and move his hand toward Emmett. Emmett looks at me and I nod as Emmett takes Justin’s hand from mine and immediately he falls into Em’s arms.

We all lay down and Justin is lying in Emmett’s arms, crying. 

“Shhh, it’s ok baby, I’m here.” He rubs Justin’s back and neck and up through his hair and back down. “It’s ok. You are safe. I’m here.” 

Soon Justin is sleeping and I look at Emmett, who is looking at me. 

“It’s okay Emmett. He wanted me out here to. Which is a step in the right direction.” He nods his head at me. I just hope it keeps going in the right direction. But I won’t lose my boyfriend, who is now lying asleep in Emmett’s arms.


	7. Queens and Kings

Thanks to my wonderful Beta Carly who is doing a great job. I wasn't going to put this chapter out til tomorrow This is also a thank you to DPHYSH for all her reviews, this one is put up early for you, and because of you. Thank you again. Also thanks to Sid for all her continuous help and support. I love you girlie.

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Justin POV:

I awake to running water as I look around and notice last night wasn’t a dream. I once again left the arms of Brian. I sit up and look down at a sleeping Emmett and can’t help but smile. He has done so much for me. He even killed my father.

I slowly get up and walk into the bathroom. I see Brian with his head tilted back and his eyes closed. He looks so good. I almost turn around and walk out when his head falls forward, sighing. 

I move into the stall after removing my clothes and he looks down at me. I get closer to his body where he hugs me tighter. 

“I’m sorry Brian.” 

“No need to be sorry Sunshine. I understand he’s your best friend and sometimes you need them more then someone else and in this case, me.”

“Brian, I need you both. In different ways. E has been there with me through the past and you are what I need to help me through the present and the future. All I ask is for some time. I know you love me, and I love you as well, but it’s hard for me to adjust to some things.”

“Justin, you don’t need to explain anything to me. I understand. I was the same way with Mikey. I am willing to wait for you. Just know that I am here for you as well.” He kisses my head and pulls me closer. I try not to tense up but sometimes its hard not too.

I get down on my knees to show Brian that I need him he pulls me back up. “No Sunshine. You aren’t ready for that step.” 

I lean my head into his chest and close my eyes and sob quietly. Brian just holds me. He seems to know just how tight to hold me. And just how far he can push me.

We climb out to the shower and walk into the bedroom where I pull Brian on top of me and kiss him. I am doing fine until he reaches down and grabs my dick. I jump and Brian stops.

“Sorry Justin. You need more time.”

He walks out and Em walks in. “You okay baby?”

“Am I ever going to feel comfortable with anyone touching me? I know this is frustrating to Brian.” I lean back up.

Emmett sits next to me and hugs me to him. “Baby it will take time. You went through a lot. Brian wants you and loves you but he understands the tragedy you went through and doesn’t want to add to it. Just give him the chance to show you. He isn’t out to hurt you.” I nod my head in response.

******************************************

Emmett POV:

I sit on Brian’s bed, holding Justin in my arms once more and I can see that he is really trying to let go. But it’s hard on Justin. I know he cares for Brian, and loves him but he is having such a hard time with everything in his mind. 

“I know that you may not know this Justin or maybe you do, but Brian truly understands that you are having trouble with this. He is trying to give you space.”

“I know.” He falls back on the bed, closing his eyes. “I think I need more sleep.” He yawns and I get up.

“Get some rest baby.” I kiss him and move away. 

“E?” 

“Yes?”

“Thanks and I love you.” He smiles at me.

“Anytime baby, I love you too.” I walk out of the room and straight to where Brian is sitting.

“I am trying to be patient with him. I understand how he is feeling and I won’t push him into anything he isn’t ready for. I was glad when he wanted me with him last night also. But then he clung to you most the night. Only this morning I woke up and saw him on me. I didn’t move in fear of waking him and loving him in my arms.”

“I know Brian, just give him time. He is slowly healing.”

“I know.”

“And if for any reason you hurt him, I will not hesitate to hurt you. He’s been through enough. All he is asking is time and patience.”

“Emmett I know. It’s just frustrating to want to do more for him but knowing I can’t.”

“Just give you both time to heal. Him from physical and emotional and you from the emotional.”

“When did you fucking get smart Em?” We both laugh.

 

Brian POV:

Three hours later, I am sitting on the couch alone. Emmett had to do some stuff to get moved into his new place. 

I look out the window as I hear Justin coming down the steps.

“Hey Sunshine.” I look at him and he looks okay.

“Hey,” he replies.

“Sleep good?”

“Not really, but better then I did yesterday.”

“That’s a start.” I pull him into me and to my surprise he doesn’t pull away or flinch. He leans up and kisses me. I kiss him back as the door opens.

“I found a place. I am all set to move in and guess what? It’s only a block from here.” Emmett jumps happily.

“That’s great Em,” I tell him letting go of Justin.

“So from that embrace I guess I don’t need to ask who you plan on staying with Baby.” He kisses Justin and even though I know it’s just as friends, I can’t help my jealous side.

“I’m going to stay with Brian,” Justin tells him and I smile at him. 

We get Emmett moved out and into his new place and Justin seems to be doing okay with this. He has snuck out maybe three times in the past week. We still haven’t had sex and I’m okay with it. I am just glad to have him with me and alive.

As Justin sleeps I run a hand down his back and he shivers. I pull him closer to me as he starts to shake. 

“Justin, it’s okay. I won’t hurt you,” I whisper to him as he calms down. He leans his head up and kisses me. I roll him over to where I am lying on top of him, looking down into his eyes. I see a few things. 

He is still scared but is trying to work through it. At the same time I see lust and love in his eyes for me. I lean down, kissing him and to my surprise he kisses back. I move my hand down between us and put a hand in his pants and stroke him. He moans as I lean up, taking his sweats off. 

We are now both naked and Justin is under me. I roll him over and use my tongue to lube him up. I slowly stick a finger in him and move it. He moans and as I begin to move up his back I place my sheathed cock at his entrance. I stick the head in and he jumps up and moves away, breathing hard. 

“I’m sorry,” he cries through tears.

“Justin, it’s okay.” I try to reassure him as he puts his sweats on and a sweater and rushes to the door. I grab his arm and he leans into me. 

“Please Brian, I need to go.” I kiss his cheek and let go of his arm. 

“I love you Justin, just remember that.” He nods and walks out the door.

I put some clothes on and sit on the couch, which seemed like forever when I picked up the phone to call Emmett and make sure Justin was okay. I had this feeling something wasn’t right.

“Hello?” the sleepy voice answers.

“Em, its Brian.”

“Oh my god is Justin ok?” He asks me and I feel a panic. 

“He isn’t there? Em he left two hours ago to go to your place. It’s where he always runs. He had a panic attack and took off.” 

“Oh my god, ok I need to go find my baby,” Emmett tells me on the phone. 

“Me too. Call me when you find him.” 

“I think I know where he is. Just stay put in case he comes back” And the phone goes silent.

 

Justin’s POV:

After leaving Brian’s I start to go to Em’s when I need to come here and talk to someone. As I sit here I look down to the ground at my mom and sister’s tombstones.

“Mom, What am I doing? I have a man who loves me. I love him too, but yet why can’t I stop my attacks in my mind. I know dad is gone and I know that he can’t hurt me but when he touches me, when Brian touches me, I close my eyes and dad is there instead of Brian.”

“I know that he isn’t going to hurt me, but mom, how can I trust anyone? You let dad do this to us. You let him hurt me, and kill Molly and then he even killed you when you wanted to help me. E is so great mom. I don’t think I could have made it this far without him. He’s the only one I can let touch me without freaking out.”

I bow my head. “I want to make love with Brian, but I can’t. I’m so afraid to be touched. I need to get past this but I don’t think I can. I know that I could let Emmett do it because of who he is, and I really want to let Brian help me, but I want to be able to do it without freaking out on him.”

“I know you are sorry for everything but now I am left alone. I have no one.” I start to sob. “I want to be me again. I want to be able to make love and get made love to again without freaking out. I want it to be with Brian, but I am so afraid to be touched by him sometimes. Not because he would hurt me, but because I feel so fucking dirty and gross and that he will see that and throw me to the curb.”

 

“He wouldn’t do that, J.” I jump at the sound of Emmett’s voice.

“How did you know?” I ask him.

“Brian called me to check on you and when you weren’t at my place, the next place I figured you would be was here.” 

I look down as Em sits next to me. “Baby, I know that you hate the fact that you can’t let Brian in yet. But you have to go with what you feel is right for you at this moment.”

“I drove all the way here to get answers Em, and I still don’t have them. Why is he so into me still? I mean I am such a filthy whore like my father said. I can’t even stand to look at myself.” Em pulls me into him and he is the only one I seem to let be able to do that without tensing up.

“Baby, I want you to listen to me. You are not ANYTHING your father said you are. You are a sweet, intelligent and very talented young man. You are amazingly gorgeous. Baby, Brian loves you. You deserve love and to give love. Justin, I know you still have nightmares and I know you wake up in sweats but baby you are allowed to freak out until you get better. “

“Em, I need to feel normal again. I need it so bad. I can’t really get over it until I do it again, knowing that I deserve it.”

“Justin, look at me. I know that this is one of the hardest things to deal with, and I am so glad you made it through it but as long as you continue to not let those in that love you the most, your father is still winning. Stop letting him run you into the ground and start living your life again, with someone that loves you.” He pulls me closer. “Now let’s get you back to my place and into something a little warmer. Where is your car?”

“It’s over there.” 

“Ok, here is the plan. I had Teddy come with me and he will drive your car back to my place and take his car home. You are riding with me and resting on the way.”

I just nod my head. We walk to the car where he pulls out his phone. “Brian, I have him and we are heading to my place. He is fine. I will call you later.” He hangs up as he takes my keys from my hand and hands them to Ted.

“I’ll be gentle.” Ted looks at me. I just nod my head. I don’t care right now.

We drive back in silence and I find myself falling asleep. When I wake up I am laying in bed with Emmett. He must have picked me up and carried me upstairs. 

I look down at Emmett sleeping and I start to kiss his neck. I have to do this in order to get over this. E is my best friend in the world and I have to get pass the fear. What better way then to have a friend do it?

He moans in his sleep as I kiss my way down. Emmett never wears shirts to bed. He runs his hands through my hair and lifts his chest up into my mouth. I take his hand and place it on my dick. I start to stroke his as well. He opens his eyes as I begin kissing him. He puts his hand on my neck holding me there as I kiss his neck. 

He pushes me away. “Justin we can’t do this.” He tells me. “What are you doing?”

“E, I know that we are friends and this is what I need I need to be touched by someone I fully trust. Emmett I am asking for your help. Fuck me.” 

*********************************

Emmett POV:

I can’t believe he just asked me that. He doesn’t know how much I have wanted him. I pull his mouth back to mine and kiss him. As he climbs on my chest looking down at me he closes his eyes. I run my hand up his chest.

“Justin,” I whisper, making sure he is ok. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry” 

“Why not?” he asks me. “Is it because I’m dirty?”

“No, it’s because I am not the one who you want to do this with. You feel comfortable with me.” Justin gets up and walks into the bathroom. 

I lean over and pick up the phone dialing Brian’s home.

“Ya?” 

“Brian, Justin is okay. I meant to call you when we got home. He was talking to his mom. He is really having a rough time.”

“Emmett what are you not telling me?”

“He asked me to fuck him.”

I hear silence for a few minutes and then, “If it’s what he needs to get over this, then do it. Just this one time; Emmett. Please, just this once.” 

“Brian.” 

“No Emmett, he needs it, and it’s you he trusts.” 

“It’s not that. It’s just, hell he feels so fucking dirty and thinks you will not want him once you do it again. He loves you Brian.”

“I know he does, but this is fucking important step for him and he wants it to be with you. Give it to him Emmett, bring both our Sunshine’s back.” 

“Okay.” I hang up the phone as Justin comes out.

“I took a fast shower, I’m all clean now.”

He climbs back in bed with me and he kisses me again. I lean him over and kiss my way down, taking his nipple in my mouth. I kiss his mouth once more as we begin stroking each other. 

“I’m sorry.” I pull away. “I just can’t do this. Justin you need to do this with the one you love and who loves you. He is willing to wait until you are ready. I love you, but I won’t do this to you. You will just regret it later and frankly, I don’t want Brian killing me.”

“E, please.” He begins to sob.

“Justin, can you look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t want Brian? Can you tell me that you want this with me? That you are not thinking of him right now? Justin, you have been through a lot. I am here as a friend. Brian is your lover and he is really worried about you. He wants his Sunshine back. Don’t put this between us. Don’t put sex between us. I won’t have one night of pleasure to turn around and lose a lifetime of friendship. Plus you really want Brian.” 

“I do want him. But how? How will he look at me after I have sex with him? Like some whore. He heard what my father said about me.”

“Justin Craig Taylor, you stop this right now. I know it’s hard on you but it is just as hard on Brian. He loves you more then life if he is telling me to do this with you to get you back to normal. But it won’t work. It won’t help you with Brian.”

He sobs into my arms. I rub his back. “Justin, when the time is right, you will feel comfortable with Brian again. Just give him the chance to show you that you don’t need to fear him.” He nods his head.

“Okay, E. I will. I am glad you stopped me. I love him Em, I really do. I just value what he thinks and after seeing me on all fours with my ass in the air to my father, I figured he wouldn’t look at me the same.”

“He doesn’t Justin, he looks at you as though you are stronger then before, which you are. He looks at you in pure love. Even though he had you lay with me that night, he was just as happy knowing you asked him to stay with you. He needs you as much as you need him.”

“How did you get so fucking smart?” 

“See you already sound like him. He asked me that also.”

We both laugh and lay back down. He snuggles in my arms and I know we both made the right decision.


	8. Queens and Kings

Thx to my wonderfor beta Carly for everything. Thx to Sid for letting me use her for any questions I have and for being there when I needed a swift kick in the butt. Thx to the girls and to my fans who keep me going. Enjoy

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Justin POV:

I wake up to the smell of coffee brewing and bacon cooking. I hear music playing and decide it’s time to get up. It’s time to face the music. 

I walk into the kitchen to see Em dancing around the kitchen holding a spatula, acting like it’s a microphone and singing into the end.

I stand there and watch him as I quietly reach over and pick up a spoon. I join in on the chorus as Em turns around and sees me, smiling.

We finish our duet as he pulls me into him and dips me. 

“Hey sugar, how was your sleep?” He asks out of breath.

“Great after my breakdown,” I answer him as I swipe a piece of bacon off the plate.

“What are you going to do today?”

“I thought I should talk to Brian about these feelings.”

“Good idea baby.” He kisses me and hands me my plate. He makes one for himself and sits across from me.

“Em, thanks for last night.”

“No thanks needed. I know you would have done the same for me.” 

As we eat our brunch Em asks me some questions.

“Justin, Baby, I know it’s rough for you after what your father did, but you really should let Brian help you. I am always here for you baby.”

“I know.”

“Let him in Justin. He isn’t out to hurt you. I am always around if you need me. You know that?.”

“Ya, and I love you for it. It’s just hard to look at him knowing he saw it first hand what my father used to do.”

“Justin I want you to listen to me. What that asshole did to you was uncalled for and he deserved what I gave him. What he did to you, you didn’t deserve it. Baby, Brian used to get beaten by his father and understands about that, but like I said. Brian sees you as one of the strongest people.”

“I know. That’s the problem because I am not strong. I am weak. I let him do it to me and I am well past the fucking teenage years. I still let him do it because I was to afraid to stand up to him.”

“But that is because of who he was Justin. You wouldn’t have let a stranger do it but your father has always had that power over you. Sweetie, I know that you feel weak, but if you would have fought him, it would have been worse.”

“How fucking worse could it get Emmett?”

“Well you could be in jail right now. Or fucking dead. Don’t raise your voice to me Justin. I am on your side baby. I love you more then life itself and would die for you. THAT is why I killed him instead of letting you do it. You would have felt bad afterwards where I feel like celebrating the bastard’s death.”

“And so am I.” We both turn to see Brian standing there.

“Hey stranger.” Em said.

“Hey Emmett. Hey Sunshine.” He kisses me on the cheek as I look to Emmett.

“We were just talking about things.” Emmett looks to me.

“Ya. I heard and I’m glad the asshole is dead too. Now he can’t hurt my Sunshine anymore.” Brian kisses me.

“Well, gentlemen I am going to go shower. Brian there is plenty of food, enjoy.” He kisses me on the mouth and whispers “Talk to him baby” before walking into the other room, leaving Brian and me alone.

“He’s a great cook,” I say to Brian, looking down into my plate.

“Justin look at me.” Brian tells me. I look up.

“I know he is and I know all about it and as long as it helps you, I don’t care.” 

I look at him questioningly until I realize what he is talking about. “Oh about that.”

“Justin, I don’t need details. I just want to see you smile again.” He kisses me and I take his arm.

“Brian listen to me. E and I didn’t do anything. We talked about it and he made me realize that when I am ready for that step, I want it to be with you. I shouldn’t try to push it onto myself, with anyone.” He nods his head and I see the smirk before he looks away.

“Brian, I’m sorry for acting the way I have been. I know it hurts you as well but I can’t help but pull towards Em when it’s the only thing I am used to. I have to get used to you as well and I am starting to open up a little more to you.”

I look away and he takes my chin in his hand and lifts it up, kissing my lips. “I am willing to wait Sunshine. And for the record, I don’t see you as a weakling but as someone I want to be more like. Don’t question it, don’t wonder about it, just let things happen as they happen. I am here for the long run Justin.”

“Thank you.” I wipe a tear as he pulls me into him. At first I tense up and then I hold him closer to me.

“I love you Justin.”

“I love you too Brian. Just give me time to sort this out.”

“I’ll be here every step of the way.” 

We just stand there holding each other as Emmett walks back in. “So everything settled.”

“Yes.” We both say together. I smile up at him as he puts his forehead to mine.

“Good, then I need to get to work.” He hugs us both as he walks out he looks back at me as he mouths “trust him” and I nod in his direction.

After Emmett left Brian and I decided to just hang out there. He took the day off to spend with me. 

“So when can we go home?” He looks at me. 

“Brian.”

“I know, give it time.” he tells me through rolling eyes. “I’m cool with it.” 

“Brian, I was going to say, let’s go home. I can’t promise you I won’t run back here.”

“Just promise me that you won’t run from me. That you tell me before you take off.” 

“Ok, I promise.”

We head back to the loft when someone stops us. “Justin?” I turn around to see Daphne. 

“Oh my god it is you.” She hugs me close to her and other then Emmett, Daphne never was a threat since I am gay. 

“Who is this piece of morsel?” She must have been hanging out with Emmett before meeting us.

“I’m Brian, his boyfriend. And you?” Brian answers for me.

“I’m Daphne.” 

“Oh so you are the black beauty Justin talks about on occasions.” He makes Daphne blush.

“Aww he talks about me? How sweet.” She pulls me into a hug again, whispering in my ear “Em told me what happened. He thought you could use another friend.” I nod my head.

 

We take her back to the loft where we talk about old times. She tells us she can’t stay too many days because she needs to get back to school but it’s great to have her here.

“So Daphne, was Justin always this good looking?” Brian asks her.

“Yes he was, only he’s gotten taller.” We all laugh and I throw a pillow at her. 

She crashes with us and she’s the perfect person to keep me from running. I need that. It’s not that I don’t trust Brian. It’s just that it’s hard for me to give in so quickly. I’m sitting with Daphne while Brian is sleeping on the couch.

“So tell me J, what is the problem on letting that hunk on the couch take care of you?” 

“It’s not that. It’s just that I get scared when someone touches me. I feel so fucking dirty after my dad, after Craig did that. I just don’t feel like I deserve it.”

“Well you listen to me mister. You are worth it and if you don’t stop this now then I will just have to steal him from you and yes he’s gay, but like they say, once you go black you never go back”

We hear laughing from the couch and Brian looks at me. “You are supposed to be sleeping Brian.” He laughs again.

Looking at Daphne he winks at her. “Even if he does let me in, I might hold you up on that invitation. I mean hell; I’m up for anything once. Twice if I like it.” She blushes again. I have never seen her blush this much before. But Brian is a hunk and a half.

“Justin, listen to this young beautiful lady. She’s smart in what she talks about. You deserve it baby.” He gets up and moves over by me, pulling me into his arms as I slide in with ease. I don’t know what it is about his arms, but I feel safe. Most of the time, it’s not that I don’t trust him, I just don’t trust my own mind.

“I love you.” he whispers into my ear, and for the first time in awhile, I get goose pimples.

“Love you too..” Daphne shouts out. I throw a pillow at her. 

“I love you too Brian.” We laugh at the irony of the thought. 

“You know I am up for a threesome with you two.” Daphne gives us her best smile and Brian leans into me. “Well that is an invitation worth thinking about. ‘Specially if you make Justin smile like this.”

“Ya well, he will be fine. He’s the strongest person I know. Hell he has to be to put up with E’s flamboyant ways.” 

We laugh as I slap Daphne on her arm. “Ya, well it wouldn’t be the first time, right Justin?” 

Brian looks from her to me. “Something you care to share Sunshine?” 

“Uhh not really.” I laugh and Brian bites my neck. I jump at the sudden feeling and close my eyes.

“Ya, he was my first.” Daphne lets out; she can tell I am a tad tense.

“Really, Sunshine you never said you batted for the other team, at least that one time with Daphne.”

“Well it was her first, not mine.” I smile at Daphne who smirks at me. 

“Ya, but so well worth it.” She leans over and kisses my cheek.

We continue to joke about life and Brian gets up and goes to get us some drinks. 

“Justin, you okay?” She asks me.

“Ya, just need some time to get used to it again.” 

“Just give it time J. You will make it. I know you will. You are better then that fucking asshole.”

“Hey stop talking about me when I’m not around.” Brian laughs and hands us our drinks.

“What makes you think we are talking about you?” Daphne blurts.

“Because you used the word asshole.” We all laugh. I think Brian knew I needed to forget that ‘other’ asshole. 

*****************************

Brian POV:

Daphne seems like a sweet girl and to see her with Justin, or should I say see Justin with her makes me smiles because Justin is doing a lot of smiling with her.

When I first met her I knew there was something about her. I think it was her attitude. Reminds me of a female version of me. 

We laugh some more at jokes and past things they have done. It’s good to know Justin had some good times through all that hell.

Justin has jumped or tensed up a few times I have touched him. Especially when I don’t warn him I am going to do it. I really can’t wait to get my old sunshine back. I want to be able to hold him without him worrying or touch him. The only ones he seems to let fully touch him are Emmett and Daphne, but even with her he is a bit off.

I know what I need to do. I need to get Justin to relax with getting touched and I know just how to do that. I just hope Emmett will go for it. Course, why wouldn’t he? I am offering him me.

For the rest of the evening I worked out my plan in my head. It has to work. Justin offered it to him the other night, but yet, Emmett didn’t go through with it. He’s a stronger man than I thought. But maybe with his help, Justin will be more at ease. The sooner I get him to open up to me, the sooner we can get on with our lives.

The next day I get up and hear that Justin and Daphne are both early birds.

“Well why didn’t the early birds wake me up?” I kiss Justin on his cheek as I turn and twirl Daphne into me and lay one on her cheek. “You look hot Daphne, I am still thinking about fucking you.” She blushes. I love making her blush. She has attitude, but no one can turn away from my charm.

“You too Brian. We didn’t wake you because Justin told me to let you sleep.” 

“Did he now?” I pull Justin into a hug and he smiles up at me. 

“Yes, I did. You looked peaceful.” Justin leans up, kissing my lips and turning back to the stove.

“Hungry?” He asks me.

“Starving.” I lick his neck and he jumps. “Sorry,” I whisper.

“No, just wasn’t expecting it. Plus your tongue is cold.” He smirks back at me. 

The rest of breakfast went by smoothly. I kept my eye on Justin who every so often would look like he is in his own world. Just then the door opens and I hear the voice and see Justin smile.

“Hey everyone, the queen has arrived.” Emmett bursts in and Justin laughs, hugging him tightly. I watch the exchange and know my plan will work.

“Emmett can I talk to you for a minute please?” I look him in the eyes. 

“If you want to go off and talk about me, you can do that in front of me.” Justin tells us.

“Not everything revolves around you Sunshine.” I smirk at him to let him know I was joking. He smiles back. 

I take Em into the other room. “I want your help.” I tell him as he looks at me.

“What kind?” 

“I don’t want to ever hear you repeat this to anyone or use this against me but I want your help in getting Justin to have sex with me.” He laughs and looks at me.

“Oh my god, you are serious.” He looks shocked.

“Em, he needs this. He really needs to be able to let go and there isn’t a way I can get him to do it alone. The longer he waits, the harder it will be and I don’t mean hard in the good way.” 

“So what do you want me to do?”

“A threesome with you, Justin and me.” He chokes on his drink and looks at me. 

“Oh lordy lord, did I hear you right?” He looks at me.

“Yes, you did and Em stop acting like you never wanted me. Look, this isn’t about us, it’s about Justin. All I ask is you do what he wanted and help and I will be in it also. Emmett, look, Justin needs this. I need to feel him again. I won’t ask you again.”

“Have you talked to Justin about this?” He looks at me and I shake my head.

“Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first. We don’t even need to talk to him, just stay here one night and we can work into it.” I look out to see Justin and Daphne laughing at something.

“I want him like that with no worries. You are the only one that he fully wants to be touched by. I know he wants me and loves me, but something is holding him back and I want to break that wall before it gets higher and stronger.”

“Ok, I will do this but if it hurts him more, I don’t give a shit who you are, I will hurt you Kinney. Justin is very important to us both and that is why I will do this. But if for any reason he wants to stop, don’t push.” I nod my head.

“I wouldn’t MAKE him do anything, but I think with us both there, he will be more at ease.” 

Okay, then tonight we will go out to Babylon and then have a few drinks and dance. Dancing has always been one of his favorite things to do. Just leave it to me to get him at ease and then I will motion for you to join us.” 

“Sounds like a plan. What about Daphne?” I ask.

“Well, she isn’t my type.” We both laugh. “She is going to be visiting her friends and family tonight so she will be busy as well.” 

“Okay, just didn’t want her to feel left out.” 

“She won’t. She has a boyfriend.” I nod my head as we walk back out to the two laughing people in my living room. Justin looks at me smiling. Yes this will work. I want that Sunshine back for good.


	9. Queens and Kings

Thx to my beta Carly and to Sid for all her help. Also, thx to Nisey for all her time. Love you all. Feedback welcome.

* * *

It's been a fun night, and after dancing and drinking our asses off at Babylon we find ourselves back at the loft. I am feeling a bit tipsy as I plop down onto the couch where Em and Brian sit next to me. I look at the both smiling when Emmett leans in and starts kissing me. 

I kiss him back but freeze when I feel Brian’s hand on my leg. I hear him whisper, "It's ok Justin, this night is for you" as Emmett smiles at me and kisses me once more. Stopping he turns my head towards Brian, where Emmett whispers "For you Baby. I'm here with you." As Brian kisses me I feel Em rub his hand on my thigh. I moan, kissing Brian deeper.

I can feel my body shaking. I start to pull away when Brian leans his head onto mine. “Justin, it’s ok. Neither of us is here to hurt you. We both love you. Let us love you.” He leans back down and kisses my lips, with his eyes open as he stares into my eyes. I can see the love reflecting back. I look down at Emmett who has been watching me.

“Baby, I am here. No need to worry. Brian isn’t here to hurt you. Let us make you feel better. You asked me to help you, and I told you that you wanted it to be with Brian. Well, this way is the best of both worlds. Neither of us will push you into anything, but Baby, this is to help you.”

I simply close my eyes and nod my head. I want to be with Brian, but I am afraid to. But with Emmett beside me, I know I am okay.

I feel Brian kiss my neck. “I won’t hurt you Sunshine.” I lean my head back as Brian runs his hand over my dick. I moan as I feel my dick come to life.

“That’s it baby, let us help you,” Emmett says from below. 

Next thing I know I feel my pants being taken off, slowly. I look up at Brian smiling down on me. “You okay?” He asks me. I simply nod. I am nervous but with the alcohol helping calm me, I am giving into this a lot easier.

I lean my head back, leaving my eyes open to watch as Em leans down and takes me into his mouth. I look at Brian who smiles and nods his head, letting me know he is okay with this. 

Brian leans down and licks my nipples, pulling one into his mouth. Emmett strokes my dick as Brian strokes my face. “We are here for you Sunshine.” He kisses me again as Emmett works his way up. I feel Brian moan into my mouth as I stroke him through his jeans.

Emmett takes my hand and places it on Brian’s hard cock and he makes me stroke Brian. He slowly pulls his hand away, leaving just my hand on Brian. I stroke at my own pace as I feel Emmett take his hand and unbutton Brian’s pants. 

He slowly pushes them down to let Brian’s cock spring free. I move my hand back up and stroke him. I feel Em’s mouth on Brian’s dick as my hand continues to stroke, getting wet from Em’s spit. Brian arches up into pleasure.

“Fuck Justin. Fuck Em.” Brian whispers.

He leans over and takes my dick into his mouth as my hand and Em’s mouth continue to explore his cock. 

I moan as Brian licks and sucks on my dick. I look at Em and he looks up at me, smiling. He leans up and kisses me, while both our hands stroke Brian’s now harder then a rock cock.

I am feeling so many things at this moment. But with Emmett here, it does make it easier to let Brian touch me. Not that I am afraid of Brian, I’m afraid of the contact. I just didn’t want to let Brian start and then freak out on him. All my thoughts are stopped as Brian takes my penis all the way into his mouth, humming. 

“Oh fuck I am going to cum.” I can feel it coming on. 

“Cum in his mouth Justin. It’s what he wants. He wants to taste you.” As I am about to shoot into Brian’s mouth I see Emmett take Brian into his mouth and hear us both moaning at the same time as we both shoot our loads.

I fall back onto the couch. “Let’s go to the bedroom where we can be more comfortable.” Emmett tells us as we all move into the bedroom. Brian picks me up and carries me.

I am gently laid down on the bed with Brian leaning over me, smiling. “You are so fucking hot Justin.” I can tell from the poke in my leg that he is hard again. 

Brian slowly kisses his way down as I lean over and take Emmett’s dick into my hand and stroke him through his jeans. Funny I didn’t notice he still had them on.

I undo his jeans and he pushes my hands away, shaking his head. “No, baby, this is just for you. Just relax and let Brian in.” 

“But you are hard.” I look at him. 

“Ya, who wouldn’t be, but sweetie, this is just for you and Brian. I love you too much to take this any farther.”

“I want to make love to you Justin.” I hear Brian say from above. I look at Em. 

“I’ll be right here.” He said as he pulls me up and gets behind me. Leaning against his chest I feel Brian take me into his mouth once more.

Emmett is rubbing my chest and stomach kissing my neck. “Just let him in Baby. It’s ok,” E tells me.

Brian leans up and kisses my lips once more. “I love you Justin.”

I feel him take a finger and place it at my ass and rub it at the entrance. 

I take a deep breath. I know I need to do this, to be able to let them in. It’s been awhile since my dad did that. I need to let him in.

I spread my legs to let him closer and he moves his finger in and out. Taking me into his mouth to help me forget the finger, even though you can’t forget the finger.

I moan in pleasure when he puts two fingers in. Em is kissing my neck. “That’s it baby, let him in.”

I feel Brian take his fingers out and place the head of his cock at my entrance. “Justin, look at me.” I open my eyes looking at his face. The love and passion that is so clear in his eyes. He pushes in and starts slowly. 

“All is good Baby, just let yourself feel the love and passion Brian is offering.” Emmett whispers.

I close my eyes and feel Brian push in and I start to tense. “Justin, open your eyes.” Brian tells me. 

I do as he says and look at him. “Just keep your eyes on me. It’s just us. We love you Sunshine. Just keep your eyes on mine. Look at me.” Brian runs a hand over my cheek.

He slowly moves again, showing me the love in his eyes. I keep my eyes on his. “That’s it Justin, see the love in his eyes. He isn’t going to hurt you, just relax and let him love you like you deserve.” Em whispers to me.

I just keep watching Brian’s eyes. He’s moving in and out slowly as he strokes me. Before we both know it, we are shooting our loads, and he’s kissing my lips.

Brian looks into my eyes once more and smiles. “So fucking good Sunshine. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” I tell him as he kisses me again. I lay there in Brian’s arms as I begin to cry. “Justin you okay?” Brian asks and I nod my head. He gets off me so I can get off Emmett.

“Ya, just a little overwhelmed.” I look at Em and smile. “Em you look like you need to wipe.” We all look at the front of Em’s pants where there is a big wet spot and start to laugh. “Why didn’t you let me help you?”

“Because Baby, this was about you and Brian and the love you share. I was just here to help get you comfortable enough to let Brian make love to you again and it helped.”

“But we wouldn’t have minded.” I look at him and then to Brian.

“But I would have. Baby I love you way too much to take advantage of the situation. Now if you are okay I am going to go find a trick and relive some moments.” We all laugh as Em kisses me and then kisses Brian. 

“Thanks Em, for everything.” Brian hugs him again. 

“Anytime Brian. I’m here for you both.”

Emmett goes out of the room and we hear the loft door closing as Brian looks down into my face.

“He’s a great man,” Brian said running his hand over my cheek.

“Yes he is. He’s a great man,” I repeat as Brian rolls us over to where I am laying on his chest.

**********************

Brian POV:

With Justin lying on my chest I can tell he is letting me slowly in. “What are you thinking about?” I ask him.

“About my mom and sister. When I was younger and Molly was alive we used to play this game as we lay in bed together. She would say a phrase from a movie and I would have to guess it. We did a lot of things together. We would talk about when we got older what we wanted to do. She wanted to be an actress. She would always stand up and act out a scene.” I see him smile at the memory.

“She would get me involved in it and we would be so into it, my mom would come in and join us. She would always play the part of someone close to us.” Justin wipes a tear. 

“Sounds like fun.” I rub his back. 

“It was a blast. We usually would be so calm when my dad was out of town. We all knew we were safe and could just do stupid things together. My mom did love us. I know she did, but she was just as scared of my dad as we were.” 

I stay quiet, knowing Justin needs to do this at his own pace. “Molly was so good, she would have been a great actress. I can still remember the times we were all happy. I remember the family trips before my dad started abusing us. We would go on family trips and we would always sing songs.”

“It’s good to have those memories. Just always remember the good times. You don’t want to forget them all together. They loved you.” 

“I know. Just sometimes it’s hard to remember the good stuff. And now I have a lot more good things to add to my life.” He leans up and kisses me.

“And to mine.” I kiss him and he smiles again. “I missed that smile. Sunshine.”

“I know you did. I still can’t believe you and Em did this.”

“Well there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. I knew you trusted him whole-heartedly . I knew you would feel more comfortable with him here.” I kiss his forehead.

“It’s not that I didn’t trust you. I’m just ashamed of a lot of things. One of those is that you saw it first hand. I could hide a lot when it wasn’t seen, but to know you saw me in the position, I felt small.”

“Justin this isn’t ANYTHING small about you. I don’t think anything different about you, just that I need you inside me right now.” I kiss his temple.

“Are you sure?” 

“Justin, you already had my dick up your ass, now to fully get back into swing of things, I want yours in mine.” I reach over and grab a condom and lube and hand them to him.

I see him lean up and get between my legs. He prepares me and with one slow motion we are one again.   
He makes love to me, sweet and passionately and with nothing but love between us. As we both cum he leans his head up.

He wanted to see my face and when I look up at him, I see why. He has tears coming down his face. 

I reach up and wipe them off his face. “You okay?” I whisper.

He nods at me. “I just, I didn’t think I could get back here. I didn’t think it would hit me like this to be with you again. And they are happy tears combined with release. Brian please just hold me.” 

And that is what I did, I hold my lover in my arms, both of us crying for the pain he is letting go of and for the joy of being together again.


	10. Queens and Kings

Thanks again to my wonderful beta and friend Carly. Also thanks to Sid for everything you continue to do for me. You inspire me when you push me to write. LOL also thanks to the girls for all their feedback. Enjoy.

* * *

I lay here in Brian’s arms and feel the world melt away. He lets me cry as long as I want to, as long as I need to. 

“You okay?” He asks me.

“Ya I am now. I can’t believe we did that. I am shocked you did it with Em.” 

“It was my idea. I wanted to help you through this but knew you wouldn’t feel so stressed with him here and with alcohol in your system.” 

“Aww how sweet. You got me tipsy to seduce me.”

“Yes I did.” We both laugh.

“Not that I’m complaining,” I yawn out.

“Me either. Stop doing that.” He laughs while he yawns. “It’s fucking contagious.” We both laugh again.

I lay on his chest once more and run my hand over it. 

“Spill it Sunshine.” He kisses my head.

“I am thinking about going into counseling,” I admit.

“Well don’t you need to go to school for that?” He runs a hand over my back and I bite his nipple. “Ouch you twat.” He smiles up at me.

“I mean I am going to go see a counselor. I was never able to growing up because then they would know my family’s dirty little secrets. I think I should go now that it’s my choice. I am a strong person Brian, but not this strong.” 

“Sunshine, whatever you want to do, then you do it and it’s not something to take lightly. I will gladly go with you if you want me to. I wont say anything, just sit there for support. I think it’s a great idea. Hell it’s not embarrassing to go. I think everyone could benefit from seeing a counselor at least once a month.” I lean up to look at him.

“You are serious.” He nods his head. 

“I had it, and I still go every once in awhile. It’s a great stress reliever.” 

“Thanks Brian. It’s good to know that you don’t think small of me for wanting to go.”

“Think small of you, never Sunshine. I am proud of you.” he tells me and I wipe a tear away.

“Thanks,” is all I can say. 

“If you want, I can take you to mine and he can help or suggest a female if you are more comfortable.” I can’t believe Brian is doing this for me.

“Yours would be fine. Might as well keep it together.” I smile at him.

“Ya, he’s the best. Been going to him since I was old enough to make my own decisions. And he is the first one who didn’t accept my advances.” He smirks. “So I know he is in it to help people and not score.”

“That’s good to know.” 

“I’ll call him later.” He leans up, kissing my neck. “Until then, what shall we do?”

“Well I could think of something.” I smile.

“Only if you want to.” He gets a shy look on his face.

“Oh please, like you are shy. And yes I want to. Brian, if I stop now, I am afraid I won’t let myself in it for awhile.” 

“I understand. Ok your majesty. Tell me what you want and we will do it.”

“I want you to make love to me. And then I want to make love to you.” 

“As you wish.” I laugh at the sentiment of that phrase. 

“I love your movie impressions.” I lean up and kiss him.

For the rest of the morning, we make love to each other.

That afternoon I wake up to find Brian not next to me. I walk out to where he is talking on the phone.

“Yes sir. I am sure about this. I need it as much as he does. I know. I hate seeing him in any pain. It’s not that I can’t deal with it, it’s more of the fact on wanting to learn how to help him through it. Yes sir. I’ll have him call you when he gets up. Ok I’ll talk to you soon. Bye.” He hangs up and turns to see me there.

“Shit, Sunshine you scared me.”

“Was that your doctor?” I look at him and he nods. 

“Why didn’t you make me an appointment?”

“I figured you would want to do that. You can just go in with me.” he tells me, pulling me into him.

“Ya, I would like that. You know, you don’t have to learn to help me. You are already doing it.” I kiss him to show him.

As I rest my head on his shoulder he sighs. “Justin, I know you say that, but I want to be able to understand what you are going through. Even though I got beat by my father, it wasn’t the same as you were. I just want to share the pain with you.” He sighs again.

“I know and it means a lot to me, but some things you can’t help me with. I have to deal with them on my own," I tell him.

“You aren’t alone. Not anymore. “ he whispers.

“I know,” I tell him just above a whisper.

“Then please let me help you through this.” he asks me as I look into his eyes and see his sincerity. 

“Okay, I’ll try. I can’t promise you I won’t freak out on you.” 

“Neither can I. So how about if we freak out, the other promises to stick by the other.” He kisses my head. I don’t know what it is but I feel safe in his arms.

**Three Months Later**

Brian POV:

It’s been three months since that night we promised to be there for each other. I sit here in this chair at the doctor’s office, watching my lover go through his life pains and there isn’t anything I can do for him right now. I look over at Emmett and he hasn’t taken his eyes off Justin. I am glad he’s here. He has done so much for us.

The doctor’s voice brings me out of my thoughts when he asks Justin to describe his feelings.

“Justin, you are safe now.” he tells him

“I know. I have people who protect me. I have E and Brian. They look out for me.”

Emmett smiles at me and I know he can tell that Justin and I have been getting closer.

“Justin, I know that this has been hard on you. I am going to stop for today.” He looks to Emmett and me as we both nod our heads.

I look at where Justin is lying and can tell he’s hurting. Today has been rough on him. We came in knowing it would be a longer session. Justin wanted it this way. He wants to ‘get this over with and move on’.

Justin sits up and runs his hands through his hair. Emmett moves over and takes Justin in his arms and lets him rest on his shoulder. The doctor is named Dr. Dolton Portman. He has told us to call him Dolton or Dade. He’s an old almost trick. 

“Justin I want you to go home and rest today. We will pick up next time.”

“Yes sir.” Justin rubs his head.

“Brian stay here a second. Emmett why don’t you take Justin and get some water.” Emmett nodded as they walked out Justin looks back at me. I smile at him as he walks out.

“Brian, I want you to watch him. He’s lived through so much and he still has some to work through. He needs to be sure you are going to stick around. He fears if he gets to emotional that you will walk away from him.” I look over at him.

“No fucking way. I love him Dade. He won’t lose me.”

“Reassure him of that.” He hands me Justin’s prescriptions. 

“Thanks Dade.” He shakes my hand as I head out I see Justin and Emmett leaning against the wall, Justin is laughing at something Emmett said to him. He sees me walking over and meets me half way and puts his arms around me. 

“Thanks Brian.”

“Anything for you Sunshine.” I hug him tighter to show him I mean it.

“Let’s get you home.” He simply nods his head as Emmett comes over.

“You okay baby?” Justin looks to him and smiles. 

“Ya, I will be. Thanks Emmett. I know I couldn’t have done this without you.” He pulls him into him, hugging us both.

 

**Later that night**

Justin Pov:

Today has been a long day. We went to see Dr. Dade and he seems really nice. Every time I leave there I feel tired, but better. 

I am getting better at not turning to E all the time. I know he has his life to lead and he always tells me that I can count on him no matter what. Brian understands when I have those moments, which I do. But we promised that when one of us freaks out, the other has to stick by them.

“Brian?”

“Ya, what is it Sunshine?”

“Thanks.”

He gets up and comes over to me and hugs me close. He lifts my head so I can look into his eyes and he smiles down on me. 

“Listen to me, are you listening?” I nod my head. “You never have to thank me for anything. On days like these, you are more emotional. And so am I. But you don’t have to thank me. I am honored you let me be there and I know that you need Emmett as well. I can’t and won’t ask you to just want me.”

“You know I couldn’t do this without you? I need you Brian.” I know it’s childish but I feel so small on these days. A tear runs down my face. 

“No need to hide it Sunshine. I do the same thing when you are asleep.” He says as he rubs the tear with his thumb.

“You cry when I am sleeping? Brian.” I lean up and kiss his lips.

“Yes I do. I cry for you. I cry for us. For what you went through. I cry so you don’t have to cry anymore.” I look at him and I can tell he’s telling me the truth.

“That is the sweetest thing anyone’s every said to me. It means the world to me to hear you say that. I love you.” I lean in and kiss him before placing my head on his chest.

“I love you too Justin. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I am always here for you.” Brian whispers into my hair.


	11. Queens and Kings

Thx to my beta Carly who did a wonderful job. Also thx to Sid for letting me be a pain in the ass with having her check to see how it sounds. Sid..thx. Thx to the girls and to everyone who has supported me on writing.

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_“Justin!” Molly cries out. “Jus..tin. Help me please.” I can see her lying there but I can’t move._

_“Molly,” I stutter out. I feel a sharp pain in my side as my father kicks me again._

_“This is all your fault Justin. Your fault that your sister is the one who gets the brunt of this tonight. You defied me Justin.” my father screams at me again before kicking me in the back._

_I look over to Molly who is lying there with her clothes ripped and blood on the floor around her. I see my father walk over to her and lean over her and stick a finger up her, making her scream._

_“Molly, this is all Justin’s fault. He was late tonight and I had quests that needed their needs met. Just remember Molly, this is your brother’s fault.” He looks back to me and kicks her before walking back to me. Kicking me as he walks up the stairs._

_I crawl over to Molly and hold her in my arms. “It’s okay Molly, I got you now. I’m so sorry.”_

_“I love you Justin. Please don’t let him hurt me anymore.” She looks so pale and fragile._

_“I love you to Mollusk. I am so sorry.” I cry as I hold her. Picking her up she screams at the pain._

_I take her up to her bed, lying her down I lay next to her and hold her as she cries herself to sleep. I fall asleep as well and when I wake up it’s late. I look at Molly. Something isn’t right as I look at her again._

_“Molly?” She opens her eyes and shuts them._

_“MOM!” I scream out. She runs in and sees Molly and the blood on the bed._

_“Oh my god. Molly. What happened?”_

_“Dad did it mom,” I whisper and Molly nods her head. My mom picks her up and we take her to the hospital. “Justin stay out here.” I agree and she takes Molly in the ER and not long after I see my father going in._

_I walk in and see my parents with the doctor and my mom is crying. As I get closer I hear my father tell them “It’s Justin, her brother, who did it. I caught him once before.”_

_“Well from the injuries sustained from the rape and beating he gave her, we were unable to stop the bleeding. I’m really sorry, we couldn’t save her.”_

_“NOO! NOT MY BABY GIRL!” I see my dad pull her into him as she falls into him crying._

_“Sir, we have to call the police on this. Your son is in a lot of trouble. He is still a minor therefore he will be put in juvenile hall. I’m so sorry for your loss.” The doctor walks away and I run out._

_Dead. Molly’s dead. Oh my god. I run until I can’t run anymore and collapse to the ground._

_“Molly, no god Molly. I’m so sorry. God please NO!” I sob out. “Molly!”_

“Justin.” I hear a voice.

_”Molly.”_

“Justin, it’s ok, I’m going to bring you out of it. When I count to three you will be awake and alert.”

_”Molly”_

“One,” I hear a voice say.

_”No Molly”_

“Two,” the voice says to me.

_”MOLLY!” I scream._

“Three,” The voice says and I open my eyes to find myself back in Dr. Dade’s office. 

“Justin, it’s ok. You are ok,” he tells me and I feel so worn out. Just a minute ago I felt like I was reliving the whole night again.

I look back at him as he hands me a tissue as I wipe my eyes. “It’s okay, let it out. Would you like some water Justin?” I simply nod my head. I’m afraid my voice would betray me.

I woke up this morning in tears after having a dream of Molly’s face, begging me for help. I wrote Brian a note and came straight here. 

“Here Justin.” I look at Emmett who hands me a bottle of water. I called him as I was leaving, telling him I needed him. He came right away. “Thanks E.” 

“Anytime.” 

“Justin, you feeling better?” Dade asks me.

“Ya, I think so.”

“So let’s talk about how you are feeling.” He looks to me as I feel Emmett sit next to me. He knows why this is hard today. 

“Well, like I said, I woke up from a nightmare and didn’t want to wake Brian. So I left him a note telling him I had a few things to do. Emmett called him when we got here to let him know we were here.”

“Then that explains him out in the waiting room. I told him to just sit down until you asked him in.”

“Thanks. I just hate bringing him in the middle of this. Last night was so great and we were ahead of ourselves. I didn’t want him to think that it’s him.”

“Would you like me to ask him to come in?” 

“Please.” He nods as he goes over and opens the door. 

“Brian, come on in.” I am afraid to look at him as he comes in.

He comes over and sits next to me, lifting my face. “What happened?” He looks from me to Dade and to Emmett then back to me. 

“I had a bad night.” I say quietly. 

“Justin, you don’t need to run from me. I was worried when I got up and you weren’t there. Then Emmett calls and tells me you are here.” I try to look away but he gently turns it back to him. “Never be afraid to talk to me.” I put my head into him as he strokes my hair.

“Justin, why don’t you continue where we left off?” I nod as I look at Brian. 

“I woke up and remembered what today was. I didn’t want it to seem like I was a baby. I can’t stop the dreams.”

“Justin, in the dreams is it just like what happened?” Dade asks.

“Yes, I guess. I mean it’s more real then dreams.”

“Ok, so what happened?” 

“My dad raped her, kicked her and me and I put her in her bed. I woke up and she was bad so my mom took her into the hospital where my father came up. Molly died; my dad said it was me. I ran away.” 

“Why is it bothering you now?” 

“It’s the anniversary of her death. I always have a bad day on this day. I keep thinking I could have saved her if I just took her in that night. Or had mom take her in. I didn’t know she was that bad. I didn’t know.” I start to sob once again.

Brian goes to wrap his arms around me but I move away and stand up. “No, don’t. I could have saved her if I just took her in.” Emmett grabs me and hugs me to him. I try to pull away but I couldn’t.

“Shhh Justin, it’s not your fault. I was there. I saw what she looked like. There isn’t anything you could have done. You heard what was said about it. She lost too much blood and had too much damage to survive.” He hugs me tighter and I don’t know what else to do but let him.

“Justin, he’s right. It’s not your fault. Even your mom knew that.” I feel Brian behind me stroking my hair. I turn to face him as he pulls me into him. “It’s ok, I’m here. Never have to worry about me not being there for you. I told you last night, let me be the one to cry for you.” I let him take me to the couch as he pulls me down on his lap.

“I love you,” Brian whispers into my ear, which makes me smile. I look back at him 

“I love you too. Thanks for not being mad at me for leaving.” 

“Never Sunshine. Just glad that you had Emmett call me.” I just nod my head, looking back at Dade and Emmett.

“That’s great. It’s good to have someone on your side Justin. And look you have two wonderful men who will do anything to help you,” Dade tells me.

“I know. They are great.” I look down, a bit shy.

“Ok Justin, let’s talk again. You know that Brian and Emmett are here to help you. Just say what’s on your mind.”

As I look at them I snuggle farther into Brian’s chest where he hugs me tighter, letting me know he has me. 

“Well like I said, it’s the anniversary of Molly’s death. I woke up and went to the gravesite where I can see fresh flowers on her grave. I remember my mom setting that up to have fresh flowers on her grave on her birthday and on the anniversary of her death.” I take a deep breath before I continue. “When I got there, there were flowers on her grave from my mother. I get up to walk away when I see my dad’s gravesite as well as my mother’s and realized I have no family left. They were all dead. I’m all alone.” I feel Brian tighten his hold on me. 

“You aren’t alone Justin. We are your family. Emmett, the gang, and me. We are all you’re family and you are never alone. We love you.” 

“He’s right Baby. You and I have known each other forever and you know you can always count on me. You know that don’t you?” I look at Emmett and know that he was right. I know he was always the one who I came to when my so-called father beat me. 

“I know E, I love you guys, too.” I get up and hug him. 

“ALWAYS remember that, Baby. I will never desert you. None of us will. I love you baby,” Emmett whispers in my ear. 

“I know. Thanks.”

“You never have to thank me for loving you. It’s an honor to.” 

“I agree,” Brian says with a smile.

I look up at them and realize that they probably think I am being a child about this.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be such a baby about this.” I whisper.

“Justin Taylor, look at me.” I hear Emmett’s voice and know he means business. I look up at him when he takes my face in his hands.

“I never want to hear you say that. After what you went through you are entitled to cry. It shows you are only human. If you didn’t cry I would be worried.” He pulls me in for a hug.

“He’s right Sunshine.” Brian smiles at me.

“Thanks guys.” I look to Dade.

“Well Justin I think this is enough for today. I want you to go home and rest. I will see you back here in two days. It’s been a long night for you.” I nod my head as I lean against Brian.

We say our good byes to Emmett and Dade, who I think has the hots for Emmett. 

**Brian POV:**

I take Justin back to the loft where we have a seat on the couch. 

“Here have a drink.” I hand him a bottle of water

“Thanks. Brian, I’m sorry about tonight. I didn’t mean for us to spend so much time there.” 

“No sorry’s needed. Just glad you let me be there for you.” I pull him into my arms.

“I am really tired. Do you think we could just go to bed?” Justin looks at me with tired eyes.

“Of course, let’s go.” I stand up and pick him up into my arms. Carrying him to the bedroom. I lay him down as I undo his shirt. He lets me undress him, down to his boxers, which are Spongebob Squarepants. I smirk at him. “Cute.” He smiles for the first time tonight.

“Hey he’s gay you know. Just helping the little sponge out by supporting him.” We both laugh as I lay next to him. I hold him in my arms as he closes his eyes. “Thanks Brian.”

“For what?” I ask.

“For making me feel safe.” I kiss his head as I hear him sigh.

Soon enough he is asleep. I look down at his head as he sleeps. He looks like an angel. “You are always safe with me. I love you.”

Before I knew what was going on I am being awaken by Justin whining and screaming. 

“Justin, Justin wake up. It’s only a dream. It’s ok. You are safe.” I keep trying to calm him down but nothing is working.

“NO! Leave me alone. Please. I don’t want to. NO! Not Molly.” Justin curls up into a ball and keeps repeating no over and over.

Not knowing what else to do I pick up the phone and dial a familiar number.

“Hello?” The voice on the other end said.

“Dade, it’s Brian. I need a favor. Justin was fine when we got home. We laid down and went to sleep. He woke me up screaming and whining. Now I can’t get him to respond to me. He’s curled up and seems in another world.” I say in one long breath.

“I’ll be right over. And Brian, don’t try to get near him. He’s in a state right now.” He hangs up the phone. 

Don’t touch him? Is he out of his mind? I just want to hold him. About fifteen minutes later there is a nock on the door. I open it to find Dade on the other side. Walking in, he hands me some cash.

“Go have a drink with Mikey on me. I need to work with Justin alone tonight. He doesn’t need an audience right now. This is where therapist and patient work alone. Brian please, don’t argue with me on this. The more time you stay here, the longer he is like that.” 

I look over to Justin curled up in the bed. “Fine, I’ll call before heading home. Just take care of him. And keep your money. I can pay for myself.” I tell him, picking up my jacket.

“Brian, I’ll call you when we are done. Don’t call. I don’t need any interruptions.” He tells me as I look towards Justin again. “I know you love him Brian, but right now, just go.” 

“Ok, I’ll go. Call me and let me know what’s going on.” He nods his head and I open the loft door, taking one last look at Justin, I close my eyes and walk out.


	12. Queens and Kings

This chapter is for Sid who decided I needed to write faster. Here you go Sid. Also thanks to my beta Carly for a great job. Thanks to the girls and the ones who read my stories.Enjoy. Feel free to leave feedback.

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**Dade POV:**

When Brian called me and told me Justin was in bad shape I didn’t realize just how bad it was. I walk over towards the bed where Justin is lying on his side, curled up in a ball.

“Justin, its Dade. It’s going to be ok. Can you hear me?” I calmly say in a comforting voice.

He doesn’t move or say anything, but I can see my voice is registering in his head. I keep talking.

“Justin, its Dade. I am here for you. You know you are safe I need you to concentrate on my voice. Can you do that?” There was still no answer from the shaking man on the bed.

I sit down next to him, never letting my voice stop. He needs to keep hearing it to make it register quicker. He stops whining and just looks up at me with a blank look on his face.

“Dade, help me,” he whispers.

“Ok, tell me where you are.” I softly touch his arm.

“I’m at the house. My dad is laughing at me. Telling me I will never escape him. That I killed my sister. That I killed my mother. That I’ll kill anyone I loved and that is the reason I can’t kill him. He has a belt and hits me with it, over and over.” I look at his face to see where he is.

“He is telling me that I can move in with Emmett but I will see him again. Oh my god. I am so weak.” He cries out. 

“No Justin, you aren’t. Your father was the weak one. He had to use abuse towards his family. It takes a wimp to hit children and a woman.” 

“I can hear his laugh.”

“Justin, he’s dead.” I start to say more but he stops me.

“I know, but it’s like it’s haunting me. I know he’s dead. Em killed him.” He shakes at the thought.

“Does it bother you?”

“Yes, I should have done it. I shouldn’t have left.” 

“Justin, you were in shock then. Em didn’t want it on your hands. You have enough to deal with,” I calmly say.

“I know. Dade, god, my family is all gone. I have friends left but no family. And it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have been late. Molly shouldn’t have had to take my beating.” He starts to cry again. I can see just how much he is hurting over this.

“Justin.” I keep saying his name to keep him in the here and now. “Justin, its over. You may not have the family with blood, but you have something just as strong with family with heart.” I run my hand up his arm.

“I should have protected them.” 

“You were just a kid too.” 

“I was never a kid in his eyes,” he says just above a whisper.

“Ok, tell me what you are feeling right now.” 

“Hurt. Disappointed. Like I don’t deserve to be happy. Pain.” 

“Want to tell me why you feel these things?” I reply.

“Hurt from all the pain. Physically and emotionally. Disappointed in myself for letting this happen. Like I don’t deserve to be happy for all the pain everyone has gone through since I came into their lives. Like Em, he killed him to protect me. Brian, for just everything I have put him through lately. He deserves to be happy and I am not doing that. He cries for me Dade. He is the sweetest man. I love him. How can I put him through this? How can I want him to? Because I do. I want him with me. I can’t do it alone.” I see some tears roll down his cheeks. 

“Justin, first off, these people all love you and they would be more hurt if they lost you. Second, you did everything you should have done.” I try to say when Justin cries out.

“NO, you don’t understand. They are in pain because of me. My sister and mother are dead because of me. Emmett killed my father because of me. All the pain and suffering is because of me. I was weak and stupid and my so-called heart family as you call them is feeling sorry for me. I don’t want fucking pity. I just want it to go back to the way it was before they all found out. I want them happy and go lucky. But they don’t right now because they are worried about me. Brian CRIES because of me. How in the hell can I accept that? He’s so fucking incredible and gorgeous. He went through enough growing up and deserves more then this,” he says out of anger. 

“Justin.”

“No Dade. Fuck you. Fuck this therapy shit. It’s all going to be the same. It will always haunt me. I can’t stop it.” He falls over into my leg and holds his head. 

“Justin?” 

“Shit, and I can’t even get a regular headache. they have to be migraines.” He throws something across the room. 

“Justin?” 

“Why, why fucking me? Why my fucking family? Why?” He screams again as he throws a few glasses against the wall.

I let him continue to scream and throw things across the room, knowing this will help get it out. Once he is through, he falls to the floor hitting himself in the head with his hands. I rush over and kneel behind him, pulling him into my arms.

“Justin calm down. It’s ok to be angry. Its ok to hurt and throw things to get it out, but hurting yourself isn’t going to help. Please listen to me. Calm down.” I keep repeating it until I feel him calm down in my arms.

“Dade, why?” Justin all but whispers to me.

“Because your father was an asshole. Because he needed to pick on someone smaller.”

“But at the apartment,” he starts.

“At the apartment you were reflecting back to childhood Justin. It happens to survivors of abuse. He was supposed to love you unconditionally but didn’t.” 

He cries more into my shoulder as I rub his back. 

I get up, taking him to the couch and sitting him down. I grab us bottles of water as he opens his and drinks it, pouring half over his head.

I can see what Brian sees in him. He’s gorgeous. But this is a job and Brian would kill me if I didn’t keep it professional.

For a while we sit there, not saying a word, reflecting on what has been said and done.

“I think I have had enough tonight Dade,” he tells me.

“We won’t talk about anything you don’t want to. You scared Brian though.”

“I know, where is he?” He looks at me like he just now noticed that Brian wasn’t here.

“I sent him out for drinks when I got here.” I smile at him. “So it’s just us.”

“Dade, thanks for coming over. I guess I needed to vent and when Brian told me he cried for me, I guess it hit me.” 

“No apology needed. I am glad to help. You want to talk about anything?” I look at him and for a moment I can see something.

“What is it Justin?” I turn my body towards him.

“Just that I don’t know how to react to Brian now.”

“Just be your normal self. He knows you have been through a lot and just wants to help and be there. He loves you.”

“I know.” Just then the sliding glass door opens and in walks Brian.

**Brian POV:**

I open the sliding loft door slowly, trying to hear if it was safe for me to come in. I hear them talking and for a moment I think that I should shut the door and wait for Dade to call me.

“It’s ok Brian. You can come in,” I hear Justin tell me. I walk in and see them sitting on the couch.

“Sorry I forgot to call you. I guess I forgot the time. Sorry Brian.” I nod in his direction. Looking around, I see the condition of the loft. 

I hear Justin laughing as I look over at him. “I’m sorry Brian. My anger got the better of me. But I didn’t break anything of value or anything of yours.” 

“Sunshine I am not worried about that, as long as it helped and you are alright now.” I see him smile again as they both start laughing. 

“What?” I say starting to wonder if they have been smoking.

“Nothing. It’s just that, I am not used to this side of the king of Liberty Avenue,” Dade tells me.

Justin starts laughing even harder and when we look at him he laughs more. “Spill it Justin.” 

“I was just thinking. I went from staying with the Queen of Liberty to the King Of Liberty.” He laughs more. I don’t know why but so do I. 

“I get it. Emmett the Queen.” Dade lets out and then I laugh out loud more. Now I get it.

After we have all stopped laughing Dade gets up and hands Justin some pills. 

“These will help you rest. Don’t worry it has nothing you are allergic to.” Justin takes them and looks at me.

“Why don’t you go lay down? I’ll be in after locking up.” He nods at me and shakes hands with Dade.

“Thank you.” he tells him. 

“You are very welcome Justin. Call me anytime.” Justin nods again and walks into the room.

I walk Dade to the door, opening it. I shake his hand. He holds it and looks up at me.

“Is he ok?” I ask him.

“He will be. Just give him some time. And Brian, he loves you. But he is afraid it’s all too much for you. I can’t tell you what we talked about but I will tell you this much. He’s afraid he is putting too much on you. That you deserve better. Just show him he matters to you no matter what.” 

“Thanks again Dade for coming over so fast.” I smile at him as I let go of his hand. He walks out and waves to me over his shoulder as he goes down the stairs.

“Brian, everything okay?” I hear Justin ask.

“Yes, just locking up.” I close the door and set the alarm before making my way into the room where I see Justin laying under the covers. 

I remove my clothing and climb in beside him. Justin moves over and lays his head on my chest as I wrap my arm around him I notice something different. 

Justin reaches over and takes a hold of my dick as I catch my breath at the shock. I notice what is different. Justin is naked.

I remove his hand from my cock and hold it in my hand. I bring it to my lips and kiss his knuckles. He lifts his eyes to look at me. 

“Not tonight Sunshine. I just want to hold you in my arms. I want you to know I will always be here for you. And not just for the sexual parts.” 

“But Brian.” 

“No buts Sunshine unless it’s your BUTT going to sleep. We have plenty of time for loving each other. We have time for all of it Justin. I want that and so much more with you, but right now all I want is to hold you and feel you in my arms. It’s been a long night. So sleep Sunshine. I will be right here in the morning.” I kiss his forehand again as he nestles into my neck.

“I love you Brian.” He whispers so low that I have to strain to hear him. 

“I love you too Justin.” He falls asleep with a smile on his face. I look to his sleeping face. Smiling I kiss his head once more. Running my hand through his hair I whisper, “More the you will ever know.”


	13. Queens and Kings

I want to thank my beta Britt for the fast beta. You are one of the best and I couldn’t have done it without you. I want to thank Sid for hounding me about this story. Thanks also to Ash for her evil mind ways. You are awesome. I know it’s been awhile but my muses are going crazy so more to come soon. Thanks to the girls for their love and support. Please leave feedback.

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**Justin POV:**

I woke the next morning to see Brian looking down at me. He has a concerned look on his face and I know that this must be where he tells me he can’t deal with it. That he thought about it all night and that he can’t handle my baggage and me.

“How are you Sunshine?” He asks me.

“I’m, umm, I guess I’m ok.” I whisper. “How long have you been up?” 

“Just a few minutes. I was watching you sleep, wishing I could draw you like you draw me.” He says smiling at me. “Are you hungry? Because I am staving.” 

I reach down to grab his cock, knowing it wouldn’t take long for him to want sex again. But before I can grab him, he grabs my hand.

“Not for that Sunshine. I meant food. How about we take a shower and go to the diner for breakfast?” I simply nod my head.

When we’re in the shower, he washes me slowly and looks into my eyes. “It will be okay Justin. You will see. I will be here no matter what.” Then he leans over and kisses me on my lips and smiles.

I start to look down but he takes my chin in his hand and lifts it until I’m looking into his eyes. “Tell me what you are thinking.” 

“I just don’t know what to think or feel. I just want to be normal.” 

“You are far from normal Baby. And before you think it, it has nothing to do with your past. You are far from normal because to me, you are an angel.” 

I try to believe him but I can’t. How can he see me as an angel when he has seen me as my father’s personal whore?

“I’m not an angel” I whisper softly.

“To me you are. You are beautiful. You are strong. Stronger then you think. You make me happy Justin. Never doubt that. Never doubt my feelings.”

I nod my head, knowing within time, he won’t see me like that. Once the shock wears off and the sight of me on my knees, being ‘owned’ by my father comes back to mind. He will run as fast as he can.

We get out of the shower and dress then head over to the diner. I’m not sure I can handle this today. We see Emmett, who looks at me and knows something isn’t right. He comes over to me and hugs me, looking at Brian.

“What happened Baby?” Em asks.

“A bad night E. Brian had to call Dade.” 

“Why didn’t you call me?” Emmett asks looking at Brian.

“Because I didn’t know what the fuck to do and Dade is the professional. Besides, I didn’t need your Queen ass freaking out and you two having drama moments.” I look at Brian who winks at me and smiles. 

“I don’t give a rat’s ass. If something is wrong with my Baby, I want to know.” Emmett demands.

“He’s right E. I can’t turn to you every time.” 

“And Emmett, for the record, he is NOW and FOREVER MY Baby.” Brian tells him and winks, making Emmett smile.

“I know he’s in good hands, but Brian, if something happens, I will hurt you.”

“And the fucked up thing is, I believe him. Nothing worse then a protective drama queen.” We laugh and move to a booth to sit down.

“What can I get you boys?” Deb asks as she leans over, kissing my cheek.

“I would like a pancake special with some bacon on the side and a glass of OJ.” I tell her.

“I’ll have the same,” Brian said as we all look at him. “What? My blond wore me out last night” 

“Well as long as you keep up your energy.” She smacks her gum and walks off.

“So what are you boys doing today?” Emmett asks looking around the table.

“Well I’m going to be at work. Weekends are busy at the store.” Mikey said

“I have papers to work on” Ben jumps in and replies.

“I’m just going to relax.” Ted explains his side. “What about you?”

“I’m going to be my normal happy self and get my stuff in order for the party I am catering.” Em spills out happily.

“I think we are just going to hang out at the loft and” before he can finish Ted jumps in. 

“And fuck all day.” He smirked at us.

“No, we are going to relax and just enjoy life.” Brian gives everyone a warning look as he slips his arm around my shoulder.

After finishing breakfast we head back to the loft. I sit down on the couch as Brian gets some bottles of water. 

“Justin, I know that things may not seem like it now, but they will get better.” I know he’s trying to reassure me but it also seems like he’s trying to reassure himself as well. Or it could just be me.

“I hope so” I can barely look at him right now. After my nightmares last night and the concerned looks he keeps giving me, I don’t want to be pitied by him. I just want him to love me.

“Justin, I need you to believe in me like I believe in you. I know it’s hard but I am here for you.” I look at him and I can’t help but want to believe him. But after witnessing what my father did to me, how could he love a whore. Even if it was rape, he still saw me there, knelt down with my father’s dick up my ass.

“Okay” Is all my mind would allow me to say.

“Fuck, Justin. Listen to me okay? I am here for the long haul. I don’t know what you are thinking, so please tell me.” Brian seems upset.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to forget all of it.” I look down at my hands.

“Justin, it’s a part of your life. It’s apart of you that can’t be forgotten, even if you tried. So the only thing left to do is get the help you need and let me be there to hold you and support you.” I hate this. I hate the feeling of knowing that my past has come back to haunt me. Course I am the one that trusted him and let him read my file. But to read it and see it first hand is totally different. 

Reading it is like reading a book and it could be just a book. But to see it, to see your lover getting ass raped with his own eyes is too much. I couldn’t handle seeing Molly and I couldn’t handle seeing Brian get hurt. So I know he can’t be this cool with everything. Not even the King of Liberty Brian Kinney can deny what I am and what happened to me.

“You have so many people who love you and are there for you. Hell, I know for a fact that the drama queen Emmett would kick my ass if I didn’t take care of you like he would. You saw how pissed he was I didn’t call him last night.” I smile thinking back to earlier today.

“I do need help Brian. I can’t handle this alone.”

“You are never alone, not anymore” He pulls me into him. “No matter what Justin, I will be there for you.” I know that I can’t keep doing this to him. I can’t have him putting his life on hold every time I have a nightmare. Or every time something upsets me. He has a life. He had a life before me. Now I am taking it away. 

I have to give him his life back. But the only way I can do that is to give him up. Leave him. But I can’t handle this either. I know I need heaps of therapy. But where do I go? I know E would have me, but I don’t want to be a burden to him, even though he is my best friend. That’s the first place Brian would look and I don’t want to hurt their friendship. Or I could ask Dade if I could stay with him. Brian would never look there. 

“Justin, what are you thinking?” I am brought out of my thoughts to look at Brian’s concerned face. “Are you okay?” 

“Ya. I’m fine. Just a lot of things on my mind that I’m not ready to talk about yet.” 

“Okay, then we can whenever you are. I won’t push you.” He runs his hand down my cheek. 

“Thank you.” I take a drink of the bottle of water, closing my eyes. “Did you have anything to do today?”

“Nope, just be with you.” I feel his hand on my leg and I get the idea that he wants to have sex. 

“Want to have sex?” I ask him.

“No, I don’t. I just want to be here with you. We can watch movies and chill. Hell, I will even pose for a picture.” He smiles at me that makes me grin a little myself.

“You would have to sit still for long periods of time.” I joked.

“I know, but I don’t mind. I like being the center of attention. You know that.” We both laugh.

“I knew that, but I will do that later.” We get comfortable and put a movie on to watch. Brian pulls me into him as I rest my head on his chest.

I know that this is where I want to be, but I know it’s not where I deserve to be. It’s not that I don’t love him. It’s that I love him so much that I need to leave to let him have a normal life.

I look up at him and see he has fallen asleep.

I slowly get up as he lies down on the couch, letting one leg hang over the side. I get my sketchbook out and sat in the chair across from him and started to sketch. I don’t know how long I was drawing when Brian spoke up.

“Are you almost done? I have to piss like a racehorse.” I laugh at his timing.

“Ya, I’m done with it.” He gets up and goes to the bathroom. Coming out he leans on the chair arm and looks at the sketch. 

“Damn you are fucking fantastic. Course I knew you were.” I love the fact he tells me I’m talented.

“Thanks” I whisper.

“Justin, look at me.” When I do he continues. “You are talented. Don’t ever doubt that. In so many ways you are. I love how you draw me. It’s weird because I never know how you see me like this. I look so peaceful and of course hot. But you make me look more, human.” He looks at the picture again and smiles.

“I draw what I see” I tell him He always makes me smile. I just wish I deserved him. I know I keep saying this over and over but I can’t help it. I feel this way and I am trying to talk myself out of doing what I plan on doing.

“Penny for your thoughts. Or should I say, kiss for your thoughts?” Brian looks down at me.

“Just thinking how lucky I am.” But not lucky enough.

“No, I’m the lucky one Sunshine” He kisses my forehead.

“I’m getting sleepy myself.” I tell him.

“Then come here.” He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. Sitting down he puts my head into his lap and runs his hands through my hair. Before I knew it, I was sound asleep.

_”You think he wants you? You are nothing but a slut Justin. You spread your ass for anyone who wanted it. That’s why you were so easy. You are nothing to anyone, or me. You will never be loved the way you want. You will never be able to forget this. You won’t be able to be with him, or any one without thinking of what I did._ I can hear my father’s voice. I don’t see him, but the words he is saying matches up. He’s talking to me and laughing at me. _You will never be loved. You kill love._

I can feel myself shaking, but calming hands are stroking my head. I can hear Brian in my dreams. 

_Justin, its ok. You are safe.” I hear his words._

_“You are never safe Justin. You are nothing but trash.” I hear my father speak I don’t know which one to trust._

_“Justin, baby. Wake up.” I hear Brian and feel him running his hand down my cheek._

I open my eyes and see Brian looking down at me, worried. He wipes my eyes where I have been crying.

I lean up and hug him tight. I can’t live without him. I need him.

“It’s ok Sunshine. I’m here.” The phone rings as he picks it up, never letting me go. 

“Hello? Hey Mikey. No I can’t. I need to stay in with Justin tonight. He’s had a rough few days. Okay later.” He hangs up his phone.

“Brian if you want to go out with Mikey, you can. I will be fine. Some time alone would be good for me.”

“No I won’t leave you alone. Mikey has the gang. We are going to stay in and rest tonight” He looks at me. 

“Brian” I start to say but he stops me. 

“No, Sunshine. Now I am going to take a shower. Why don’t you order us something to eat?” I nod my head as he gets up. 

“Brian, I love you.” 

“I love you too” He kisses me and walks into the bedroom. Knowing what I need to do. I can’t keep letting him put his life on hold. Not for me

Picking up the phone I dial a number I have known by heart for most my life. 

“Emmett. I need a favor.” After telling him I am coming over we hang up the phone. I take a pen and paper out, writing a note for Brian.

I pick up my sketchbook so I can keep something that reminds me of him. Looking back towards the shower, wiping a tear away. “I will always love you” 

I walk out the door to go to Emmett’s and out of Brian’s life. Knowing he deserves his life back, and that I have to let go of mine.


	14. Queens and Kings

**AU** Thank you to the girls. Thanks to Nikki for helping with this chapter in finding better way of wording something when I was having trouble. Thanks to the beta who wants to remain unknown but you know who you are. Big thanks to you. Also thanks to Sid for making me write on this. It's all for you. Also thanks my girls. You all rock. Ash, thanks for the evil thoughts. Nise, my sister..thanks for always being there. More to come soon.

* * *

**Brian Pov:**

It’s been two days since Justin left when I came out of the shower to find him gone. I knew where he went so I called Emmett’s and he told me he is safe with him and to give Justin some time to get his thoughts together. Em took him to his therapy yesterday and called me after to let me know he was ok. As I look at myself in mirror I feel another presence in the room. 

“Go after him; show him he is worth it.” I turn to see Michael standing at the bathroom door. 

“I don’t go after anyone.” 

“Bullshit. The guy has gotten to you, now you need to fucking get to him. This is only confirming what he feared that you wanted him gone.” I look back at myself in the mirror. 

“I am scared.” I laugh at the shocked look on his face." What, am I not allowed to be?” 

“No, I mean yes you can, but I'm not shocked that you are, just shocked you are admitting to it. Brian I was never his biggest fan, but I know how he has changed you. I know he has gotten those walls cracked and slipped through them, you love him." 

“I know how I fucking feel about him Mikey I am not saying I don’t love him.” I look at him before looking down. “I fucking love him.” 

“Then go for him.” Mikey rubs his hand on my back. "Go get the man that you have broken all your rules for. Go get the man that makes you happy. Go show him all his thoughts are wrong.” 

“When did you become so fucking smart Mikey?” I smile, knowing what I am going to do. “I have to go; let yourself out.” I walk into the room, grabbing my pants and shirt. After getting dressed I go to Emmett’s and knock on the door twice before he opens it. 

“Brian.” Em looks at me. 

“Em, I need to see him, I need him back.” He looks at me. 

“Since when does Brian Kinney go after anyone?” 

“Since he fell in love with a blond angel. Where is he, Em?” I look around. I see Em with a few tears in his ears. Shit I am too late I think to myself. Falling to the couch I look out the window and take a deep breath.

“He’s at school Brian he had a project to work on.” I look up to see Emmett’s brightest smile as I smile back. “But I will go with you because I promised him I wouldn’t let you get near him until he said ok.” I simply nod as I stand up. 

“Let’s go then.” I grab his arm and head out to get the man of my dreams back. 

We walk the halls of PIFA and come to the door where I see Justin sketching. He looks so good when he does that. He draws so passionately. He moves his head to the side and I see an image of me on the sketch paper in front of him but I am not smiling and I have sad eyes. 

“Stay here, I will see what he says.” Emmett walks in and I lean against the doorframe waiting for him to come back out. Waiting to see if I get Justin's permission to walk in there, and if I walk out alone or with my heart and soul. 

**Justin POV:**

I’m sitting here doing a sketch of Brian when I seem to lose my train of thought. Hell I always lose track of everything when I think of the man. 

“Justin.” I turn to see Emmett coming in.   
“Hey Em. I would have called you when I got done.” I tell him looking at the pencil in my hand. 

“I know baby but I needed to talk to you. That’s a nice picture of him do you want to talk about him?”

“Not really. It still hurts.” I look at the perfect imagine in front of me. 

“Justin talk to me sweetie.” I look into his eyes. 

“I miss him E I miss him so much, but he deserves more and from the fact he hasn’t called or came by means I was right. I love him E but after what he saw, how could he want me?” 

“Because I do.” I turn to see Brian at the door then I look at Em. 

“I will make him leave if you want but I think you should hear him out.” I look into his eyes, nodding.

He walks past Brian. “Don’t fuck this up Brian or you will have me on your ass and not in the life-affirming way you think. Don’t hurt my baby.” I smile knowing I can count on E anytime. 

“I don’t plan on hurting him; I am hoping he will come home with me for good.” I look at him before looking away. I feel strong arms around my waist, knowing that feel I lean into it. 

“Hey Sunshine. How’s it going?” He whispers into my ear. 

“It’s okay.” I whisper out. 

”We nee to talk and I want you to listen to everything I say to you. I am not with you out of pity, I am with you because..” He pauses and turns me into his arms. “I want you to see my eyes when I say this. I want you to see I am not fucking around. Justin Taylor, you fucking little shit, you stole my heart and I love you. Don’t throw us away on fears of not being good enough for me. Or that you feel like it’s too much for me, Justin. I know things will not be easy and I will handle it. What I can’t handle, we will handle together. You broke my walls Justin. You showed me that I wasn’t being a real man then, now I am because of you. I can love and feel something good, because of you.” I look into his eyes, feeling tears in my own. I close my eyes as I feel him turn me around to face the sketch I am doing. 

“Justin, do you know why I have sad eyes in this picture? You always see me for the real thing. But why did you do it with sad eyes?” 

“I don’t know it just seemed right.” 

“Yes it was right I have sad eyes Justin because I haven’t had you with me in days. I am sad because I love you and want to take the pain away. I am sad because I don’t want to lose you. I have sad eyes Justin, because I don’t have the most amazing Sunshine in my life. You are the only thing I am missing in my life Justin, the missing link.” I feel him take his finger and wipe a tear off my cheek. Then he kisses it away. 

“Brian.” I start to say but he stops me. 

“I’m not finished you are my security blanket just like I am yours. But the truth is you are more mine then the other way around. When I am with you, I know I am home I found that in your arms. Right now, the loft is just that, a loft I want you to come back and make it a home, our home. Please, come home Sunshine I need you and I love you. You made me break all my rules and the most important one is, I fell in love with you. Don’t take my heart away. And if you walk away, you take it with you because you have it in your hands. Please Baby, just come back with me let me take care of you and you take care of me. We will take care of each other.” I look into his eyes and know he means all of it. 

“Okay, I will. I love you too.” I tell him. 

“And Justin,” But this time I stop him. 

“I know I was an idiot to walk away from you and I won’t ever do it again.” He goes to say it but I put a finger on his mouth. “I promise.” 

“Good, because I will always find you to bring you home. I won’t let you go that easy. We will be okay Justin, as long as we are together.” He rubs my face. 

“I agree because now I see what you mean. Let’s go home Brian.” He nods as he leans down and kisses me. He places his forehead against mine, smiling into my eyes and I can’t help but smile back.

“That’s the Sunshine I miss and love.” I look back at the picture as Brian walks by me, picking it up. 

“As long as I have you I will never have that look.” I kiss him hard and letting him know I feel the same way. 

After we get home we take our showers which took twice as long since there was a lot of making up to do. He picks me up and carries me to the bed laying me down and kissing down my chest. Biting my nipples I can’t help but moan. 

He moves down over my stomach with little kisses on my skin making me giggle then he looks up smiling.

“I always want to make you do that.” I put a hand on his face. 

“Me too. I want to make you happy.” 

“As long as I have you I will be.” He goes back down and takes my dick in his mouth and I can feel his hand running up my body, taking my hand into his and squeezing it. I feel that old familiar tightness as I let go and squirt my spunk into his mouth and down his throat.

He leans up and kisses me passionately. I smile at him as I roll him over and kiss down his body. I do the same thing to him that he did to me. But before he can cum he pulls me up. 

“I need you inside me, now.” I look into his eyes and place a condom on as I move up between his legs.

Pushing into him slowly I never take my eyes off his because they are full of love, desire and want. I lean over and kiss him.

He holds me close as I keep pushing into him slowly. I stroke his cock in my hand and place his hand over mine. 

Intertwining our fingers together we stroke his dick together as I move in and out of him again and again. Placing soft kisses on his lips and I close my eyes.

“Open your eyes; I want to see them.” I do as he asks and open them and stare down at him. We both start to cum together while we are looking deep into each other’s eyes. He leans up, kissing me.

“I love you Justin. When I met you, you didn’t just change me you fixed me. You made me who I want to be. You are beautiful and talented and nothing I can do or say will ever make me love you less because you mean the world to me.” 

“I love you too.” I move off him lying next to him on the bed as he pulls me into his arms and I know I just know that we will be okay.

“We should go get your things.” He whispers to me.

“Can we wait a few hours? I just want to lay here with you awhile.” He just smiles and pulls me towards him and I snuggle into his arms and it just feels right. We will make it as long as we have each other.

The next afternoon we head over to Em’s to get some of my stuff. 

“Justin, I see you have been thinking of me the days you were gone.” I look over to see what caught his eye and I see the sketches I have done. 

“No matter how hard I tried every time I picked up a pencil or paint brush I seem to always end up with your face staring back at me in the end.” He pulls me in and kisses me.

“Well if I had your talent I would have done the same thing. I am unforgettable.” He looks into my eyes before we both crack up laughing. 

“Seriously Justin I would have been drawing you if I knew how to draw. You are my inspiration for life.” I lean up and kiss him.

As usual with us the kiss goes into more as I feel him pushing me back onto Em’s bed. Pulling me up to a sitting position he pulls my shirt off. 

Biting my neck he moves down taking my nipple into his mouth as I lean my head back moaning from the sensation of his lips on me.

I now feel him pulling my pants off my body so I lift up to make it an easy task he leans over taking my dick into his mouth. 

Moving my hands through his hair I move my hips. 

“Brian please fuck me.” I grunt out.

“Anything you want Sunshine.” He moves up taking his own clothes off. Placing a condom on his hard cock he positions himself at my entrance and pushes in slowly I feel my eyes close.

“Open your eyes. I want to see you.” I open them and look into his face.

We move together as my body feels like it’s on fire. I feel my heart leap from my chest as my eyes once again flutter closed and Brian stops moving.

Opening my eyes I look at him. “Keep your eyes open Sunshine I want to see all the emotions in you and you in me. I want us both to remember our faces.” He begins to move again. “To remember how we feel at this moment and the moments ahead of us. I want to see the love in your eyes and my love in my eyes for you.” He pumps in and out kissing my neck as he bends over. 

I know that we both won’t last long. “I want you to know how happy I am with you.” He pushes all the way in stopping just at the prostate before jabbing inside three times.

“Oh shit, Brian.” I keep my eyes on him not wanting to miss any of his emotions.

Repeating the movement I feel the old familiar feeling slipping into my balls. 

“Fuck me.” I look up to see he is smiling but not just his lips, his eyes too.

“No.” He whispers. “I am making love to you Sunshine It will always be love with us.” With his words and the jabs on my prostate we both start to cum. Looking into each other’s eyes I can see the love in them and I know he sees it in mine.

He leans over to kiss my lips and he looks into my eyes once more when we hear sobbing from the doorway. Looking up we see Emmett standing there.

“That was so beautiful. I am so touched.” He runs over and jumps on the bed hugging us both.

“Umm, E we need to get dressed.” I laugh at him and Brian just looks from Emmett to me and breaks out into a smile.

“If it was anyone else I would have decked him but how can I hit a woman?” We all laugh again as Emmett gets up.

“First off I am a ‘queen’ not a woman and second you wouldn’t hit a queen? I’ll leave you guys for a bit so you two can get dressed or make love again.” Brian gives him a look but smiles down at me once E is gone.

“He’s a fucking character isn’t he?” I nod my head in agreement. 

“Ok Sunshine, let’s get you up and dressed so we can get your stuff back to the loft. We won’t change the sheets since Emmett will want them to dream of us.” I laugh and lean up to kiss him.

“Get dressed so we can go home and do it again.” I hurry up and put my pants on wanting to get to the loft so we can start our life again.

**Brian POV:**

After getting dressed I look over at Justin a few times while doing it and I see him looking in the mirror. 

I walk up behind him and slip my arms around his waist.

“What are you thinking?” I ask kissing the side of his head.

“How lucky I am and how happy you make me feel.” I squeeze him closer. 

“I’m the lucky one. Now get dressed so we can go home and spend the rest of our afternoon and night in bed.” I let him go to finish getting dressed.

We get a few bags and head out the door as we drive back to the loft Justin leans over and unzips my jeans taking my dick out he slips it into his mouth. 

“Justin,” I breathe out.

“Just drive.” He whispers. 

I slow down to the speed limit as he is sucking my dick. Most people would speed up but I want it to last so I slow down. 

I feel his mouth engulf me as my hand runs through his hair. He works his magic as I feel my sperm spill into his mouth. Sucking me dry he leans up kisses my neck. 

“Very high protein shake.” He licks his lips which causes me to laugh.

“Yes very high”

“I should have more of those.” He smirks.

“Anytime, Justin.” I smile as I pull up to the loft.

We get out of the jeep grabbing his bag we head to the door. As we reach the door I see something out of the corner of my eye and it's coming right for Justin.

But before I could stop it I see a bat swing and connect to Justin’s head. I see Justin fall to the ground in a pool of blood.

“JUSTIN. NO. NO. NO,” I scream, taking him into my arms. As I look up I see a blond boy running off.

“FAG!” He yells as he disappears into the night. 

I hold an unconscious Justin in my arms.

“Justin please don’t die on me, I need you. I just got you and I can’t lose you now.” Rocking him in my arms I pick up my cell and dial 911.

“Yes, my partner was just hit in the head with a bat. Please hurry.” I give them the address as I toss it aside. 

“Justin, hold on. Just hold on. I am here and I love you,” I whisper, holding my partner in my arms for what I hope isn’t the last time.


	15. Queens and Kings

**Brian POV:**

_I hold an unconscious Justin in my arms._

_“Justin, please, don’t die on me. I need you. I just got you. I can’t lose you.” Rocking him in my arms I pick up my cell, dialing 911._

_“Yes, my partner was just hit in the head with a bat. Please hurry.” I give them the address as I toss the phone aside, not caring where it landed at the moment._

_“Justin, hold on. Just hold on. I’m here. I love you.” Holding my partner in my arms for I hope isn’t the last time._

I can’t get the image out of my head. The bat coming towards his head, the fucking blond running off. But most of all, I can’t get over seeing the man I love, laying in my arms. Not moving at all and with blood flowing from his head. The fear of losing him was and still is so over-whelming. 

“Brian? You need to drink this. It’ll help you.” I hear Mikey say beside me.

“No, Mikey, what will help me is knowing what is going on with Justin.” I feel him put his hand on my shoulder.

“Damn, these seats are hard and cold.” He tries to make me smile.

“I didn’t notice.” I lean my head against the wall, not caring about the tears running down my cheeks. 

“You love him so much more then you let on.” I look up at the voice, only to see Deb standing there.

“No shit. I went after him.” She smiles as she leans over me.

“I know sweetie. Michael told me.” She kisses my cheek. “Don’t give up on him Kinney. He needs you.” 

“I won’t give up on the man I love.” I tell her that as she walks away, I look over at Mikey.

“I know you won’t give up. You never were a quitter.” I smile to despite myself.

“Taylor family?” I look up to see the doctor walking towards us, and get up to go to greet him. 

“That’s us.” Debbie tells him.

“You his mother?” 

“Closest thing he has to one since she’s dead. His whole family other then us are dead. But you don’t have to be blood to be a family.” Have to admire the woman. 

“Well, he is in a coma. We have him on some machines to make it easier on him. Only two at a time in there” But before he could finish Deb steps up.

“Bullshit, what that boy needs is to be surrounded by his family and friends. You have a problem with it, call the cops, but let me just tell you, my boyfriend is the chief of police and he knows when I make up my mind on something, there is no one to change it. We will all be in there to support our Sunshine. Now what room is he in?” Leave it to Deb to put a fire under someone’s ass.

“He’s in room two thirteen.” As we start to walk towards the room, I look over at Deb, who has put her arm through mine. As soon as we walk into the door, I can hear every ones breath catch in their throats. 

“I don’t think.” I start to say but Deb looks at me.

“You have to, for him Baby. We are all here to help him and each other through this. Now go to him.” 

I walk to the bed, taking his hand as I sit next to him. “Justin, I am so sorry.” I whisper in a voice no one can hear.

“Brian, positive things. He needs to hear positive things” I nod my head.

“Hey Sunshine. As gorgeous as you look lying there, as hot as you look in this gown, which probably is open in the back, I want you to be awake when I touch you. I need you Justin. Always have. Always will.” I whisper to him trying to hold back the tears.

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and instantly turn into Deb’s embrace. 

“He’ll wake up. He has so much to live for. He’s a strong young man Brian.” 

“I know, but he looks so fucking fragile.” I look back at the man who has invaded my dreams and thoughts since I met him.

“I know, but he has all of us pulling for him. It’s what he needs.” She whispers to me.

“Yes mom.” I turn back around to face Justin. Stroking my finger over the top of the hand I am holding.

As the days go by, I get more worried he won’t wake up. Deb is always talking to him. Other then Em and me, the other one who is always here is Deb. 

She’s always rubbing his hair and telling him we love him and when he is ready to wake up, they will be there. Calling him “Sunshine”, just as I do.

Two weeks after the accident, Deb is on one side of the bed while I sit on the other. 

“Our boy is going to be okay Brian.” Deb whispers to me.

“How do you know?” I ask.

“I have never lost a son yet and I don’t plan on it now.” She smiles.

“Glad to hear that, mom?” We both look down to see Justin looking at Deb, smiling.

“Justin” We both jumped up yelling. Everyone in the room came rushing over. 

“Oh my god Sunshine.” Deb said with tears.

“It’s ok ma, he seems to be able to hear you.” Michael told her.

“I know, don’t get your dick in a twist. I’m just glad to see him awake and looking at me.”

“Mom.” Justin whispers again, then turning his head towards me. 

“Brian” he smiles at me. Well least he knows who I am. 

Looking around the room he spots Em who pushes through the crowd. Eyes filled with tears. 

“Oh Baby, I’m so glad to see your baby blues again” He leans over, kissing him.

“I’m glad to see you all too. I’m really tired.” He closes his eyes.

“Sleep Sweetie. We love you.” Deb whispers.

“I love you all to, mom.” He closes his eyes once more, falling into dreamland.

Deb looks at me with concern on her face. 

“Get the doctor Mikey.” I tell him. He nods, walking out.

A few minutes later he comes back with the doctor.

“I heard he woke up? And that he is calling you mom but seems to know who Em and Brian are?” He asks as he picks up the chart.

“Yes sir.” Deb chimes in.

“Mom, what’s going on?” Justin asks quietly.

“Justin, how are you feeling?” The doctor asks him.

“I am sore. Mom and the gang have been helping. She and Brian would hold my hands, and talk to me.” I want to hold him, but for now I just take his hand.

“Justin, no need to apologize. Do you remember what happened? “Justin shakes his head. “ Then why don’t you just rest. Your mom and the gang will still be here when you wake up. I am going to take them in the hall so we don’t disturb you.” Justin nods, pulling my hand to his lips, kissing it. 

I lean over and place a soft chaste kiss on his lips. “I love you Sunshine” 

“Love you too. Look out for mom.” I nod my head, closing his eyes.

Once in the hall the doctor looks at us. “He seems to have a selective memory. He remembers some of you and is confused about others, like Debbie. Just go along with him until he remembers. If you push him to remember or he gets upset, he could have a relapse from the stress of it.” He explains to us.

“For how long?” Emmett asks him.

“Till either he remembers. We will know more in a few days after some more tests. For now, just let him talk and feel like he is in control. At least he didn’t forget you all.” Deb nods her head, wiping a tear. 

“Thanks Doctor.” Ben speaks up. 

“Just sit with him if you want.” He walks away leaving us alone to think of what he just told us. 

“Poor Sunshine” Deb looks in at him. 

“Brian?” I hear from inside. 

“Yes, I’m here. What you need?” I ask, walking through the door to take a seat next to him. 

“I want you to stay tonight with me” I look at him, as I see him wink, I burst out laughing. 

“Only you Sunshine.” I move up to sit next to him on the bed. 

“I can’t help it. I love to feel you anywhere near me.” He whispers.

“Me to. Damn for someone in a coma for two weeks you sure are in a happy mood.” I kiss his temple.

“I don’t remember what brought me here, but I do remember everything about you.” He leans his head up, kissing me.

“I’m glad Justin. But you need to rest.” 

“I’ll rest when I am dead, besides I’ve been asleep the past two weeks.” He winks while his hand moves over my crotch. 

“Oh my” I look up to see Emmett there. 

“It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.” Justin tells him.

“I know, but in the hospital?” He smiles.

“Where’s mom?” I look at Emmett.

“She’s out talking to Carl on the phone.” Mikey tells him, coming into the room.

“So I guess you are my brother?” Justin looks at him.

“In some ways, yes.” I look at Mikey who isn’t lying, but at the same time not telling the whole truth.

“I think I need to sleep just a little more before our romp in the hospital bed. Just make sure everyone goes home. Including mom.” I nod my head.

“You got it Sunshine.” I look at Mikey who nods his head, walking out the door.

“Brian?” Justin said just above a whisper.

“Yes?” I rub my hand through his hair.

“Stay with me.” He whispers.

“Always, and forever Justin.” I tell him as I hold him in my arms.

“Thank you.” He gets out, just before he passed out.

“No thank you Sunshine. Thank you. For making it.” I hold him tight, hoping that whatever is in his mind will work itself out and just grateful he remembers me. Just wonder what all he will remember.

Or won’t remember.


	16. Queens and Kings

Thx to my beta Brit for a wonderful job. Also thanks for not giving up on me with my stories. SOJ has just taken its spot and won't leave.lol I promise to write more on everything in the future.I know this is a short chapter but more to come soon.Thx to the girls for all their support and the guys as well. Love you all.

* * *

**Brian**

It’s been two weeks since Justin woke up from his coma. I brought him home a few days ago and he still hasn’t been able to remember anything.

Well nothing about his father or mother or sister.

In a way, I’m glad he hasn’t been able to remember anything about his family, especially his father. His nightmares about them have given him so much trouble and heartache in the past, and I’m glad that he has a few moments to be free of them, even if a semi solution came in the form of a coma.

“You okay?” I ask him as I watch him go over towards the couch.

“Yes, stop asking me that. I’m just glad to be home.” He sits back onto the couch.

“Glad to have you home.” I say as I take the seat next to him.

“I know you’re worried about me, but Brian you can go back to work. I can stay by myself.” He moves around on the couch to get into a comfortable position to lay his head onto my lap. As soon as he is settled, I run my fingers through his hair.

“I know Sunshine. But I am not ready to go back.” 

“So you keep telling me. Brian, why is everyone so worried about me? I’m fine. I remember mostly everything; You, Ma, Mikey somewhat and Em. No matter how hard I get hit, I could never forget you or Em. Emmett wouldn’t let me.” 

“What do you remember of Em?” I ask him.

“That he’s my best friend just like Mikey is yours.” I see him close his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just wish I could remember those days.” He whispers.

“All in good time.” He smiles at me without opening his eyes.

Realizing he is asleep I pick up the phone. Dialing a number I have come to memorize. 

“Dade, its Brian.” 

“Brian something happen? Is something wrong with Justin? Has he remembered something?” He asks rapidly.

“No, he’s fine. He’s sleeping. I wanted to ask you something.” I look down at Justin.

“What is it?” Dade calmly asks.

“I know he’s going to want to have sex again soon, but I am afraid I will hurt him. Should I do it?” I can’t believe I am talking about my sex life with an ex trick.

“Brian, let him be the one to control it. If you tell him no, then it might upset him and he will wonder why. Just let him set the pace.” Dade explains to me.

“Okay thanks.” I reply as I start to hang up the phone

“And Brian,” He says before the phone is even away from my ear

“I know, don’t mention anything to him.” I finish for him before hanging up. 

Looking down at Justin, I can’t help but smile. I am so deep in thought that I don’t realize that he has opened his eyes and was looking at me, smiling.

He lays his hand on my crotch, which brings me out of my thoughts. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” He mutters out.

“Just thinking how lucky I am to have you.” He smiles, and nods his head “Uh Huh” He replies, his hand now rubbing on my dick, which is hard.

“Justin.” I moan out as he unzips my pants. Reaching in, he pulls my hard cock out. Turning his head I can feel the heat of his mouth over it right before he takes it into his mouth.

“Oh god, Justin.” I lean my head back as he turns himself around fully to take me deeper. Moving his head faster, I feel his tongue as it slips into my slit. I can’t help the low growl that comes out of me.

Putting my hand on his hair he moans. God he knows what he is doing. 

“Justin.” I breathe out.

“Mmm, you want to fuck me?” He asks taking his mouth off long enough to ask.

“No, I want you to fuck me.” I close my eyes as he swallows me whole, making me scream and shoot my load down his throat. 

Leaning up he kisses me. “I still want you inside me.” I moan out as I feel him pull me up, pulling me into the bedroom.

After shredding our clothes, he dons a condom, and slowly slides in. 

“Oh fuck.” I arch up into him, looking him in the eyes.

“So fucking tight.” He moans out.

“Only for you.” He smiles at me.

“Likewise.” I can’t help but smile back. 

He pushes all the way in, hitting every area. Fuck he hasn’t forgotten how to make me feel so good. As he begins to stroke me, I feel my orgasm approaching. Screaming each other's names, we shoot our loads. His in the condom, mine in his hand and on my chest. 

Leaning over he licks it off and then he begins to kiss me. Pulling out, he throws away the condom, then lays down next to me.

“I love you Brian.” He whispers as we lay together.

“I love you too.” I watch as he yawns, snuggling deeper into next to my body 

“Tired?” I ask, then watch him nod. 

“The medicine still hits me fast.” 

“That’s because you are allergic to everything and they needed to give you something totally just for you.” He slaps my arm.

“Thank you.” He smiles.

“For what?” I ask him, running my hands on his back.

“Not pushing me.” He closes his eyes.

“Well thank you for remembering me.” He laughs.

“I’ll always remember you. We have a great life together. Besides, you can’t get rid of me that easy.” He says yawning again

“Well that’s great because I don’t want to get rid of you.” He snuggles more into me as my arm encloses him close to my body.

“I’m glad.” He tells me just before he falls asleep. 

I just hope when you do remember things that it doesn’t come between us again. But I won’t let him push me away. Not again. Not ever again.


	17. Queens and Kings

**Thanks to everyone who has stood by me and endlessly harassed me {CAT} for more on this story. As you know SOJ and SOB has taken a lot of my time, this may not be the longest chapter, but I wanted a reconnection day. I will do more on this story as well as CC and my others.**

**Thanks to Nisey for her ‘perfect’ remarks and for standing by me. Thanks to the girls and the boys I know who make writing worth wild. Thanks to Roo for just being her and to Sid and Shauna for all their input.**

**Also this chapter if for Cat, I promise the next chapter will have a lot more to it.**

 

**All mistakes are my own. I wanted to get this out ASAP so please if there are too many, let me know and I’ll fix them. If not, hope you enjoy the chapter**

**_I know that South Port is actually in the UK but a friend told me about this and fell in love with it. So for the sake of this story, it will be in the Pitts. Jim, thanks sweetie, I owe you. Give the guys hugs from me and this chapter is for you. Thanks for sharing your inspiring stories with me and giving me something to write about, lol._ **

* * *

**Brian**

A week later as Justin is sitting on the couch, I walk over to him and hand him brochures. 

“What is this?” He asked me.

”It’s where we are going today.” I smile.

“Brian, this is a place where they have gardens. Flowers.” He looks at me once again.

“I know. I thought we could go and spend the day together.”

“That’s a great idea. I would love to spend the day with you, walking around looking at beautiful flowers.” He smiles at me.

“Nothing will compare to you.” Shit am I turning into a lesbian? But when he smiles like that, I will be anything he wants me to be.

“Well let’s go.” I pull him close to me, kissing him before we head out to the garden of all garden shows.

Once we arrive at South Port we walk around. Justin seems to be having a great time. Holding his hand in mine we walk over to these guys all dressed up in pots and garbage bags. Their whole outfit was small and little pots. Justin thought it was funny and really wants to paint it.

We walk around and see all the flowers made and the statues as well as real flowers. I am actually really enjoying myself.

We decide to sit in the picnic area as we watch the little kids playing. A little boy comes running by, stopping in front of us, and looking around.

“Are you lost?” Justin asks.

“No, I lost my friends.” Looking upset, Justin and I look around.

“Timmy. Come here. We are right here.” We see two rather cute young men say. 

“Looks like your friends found you.” Laughing he looks at us, smiling.

“Cool.” He said as he runs over to them. “I love you.” Jumping into one of the men’s arms, making them both laugh. 

Waving to us as they walked away. “Nice asses.” 

“Justin!” I say laughing.

“Well it’s not like you weren’t thinking it.” I kiss him softly on his lips. 

“Busted.” I whisper.

“Yup, I’m onto you.” He whispers back.

“Good.” I kiss him once more as we get up and start to walk around once more, looking at the flowers. I look at Justin’s smiling face, looking at the flowers. It is such a beautiful thing to see. And the flowers aren’t bad either.

It’s been a very relaxing day. Justin and I feel like we are reconnecting once again. We might not have done a lot of touching, but our minds are going a mile a minute to each other.

Everything is perfect. 

From the flowers, to the weather to the man beside me. Yes life couldn’t get better then this. 

And knowing Justin is happy; well that makes everything worth it.

**Justin**

I look at Brian who has a smile plastered on his face. I love that smile. It’s the most beautiful smile and is on the most amazingly gorgeous man. 

“These are really pretty.” I lean over to get a better view, and also to smell them. I close my eyes taking in the aroma from them. 

I am really having a great time. I am glad Brian thought of this. 

We have walked around, looking at the different flowers and different things they have and I am so amazed how beautiful a flower can actually be, even the ones I thought were dull they have them looking like something out of a movie.

Brian wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck. “I think we have seen every inch of this place.” 

“Yes, I think so, but they are really nice.” I lean my head against his chest as my eyes drift closed again.

“I love you Justin.” I find myself smiling more.

“Me too.” I look at him as we turn to someone yelling our names. 

We see the whole gang, well Ted, Michael, Debbie, Carl, the girls and Gus. And of course my best friend Emmett.

“Hey Baby.” Emmett hugs me. “How are you doing?” I see Brian pinch him and shake his head.

“I’m fine. Great actually. I am having a wonderful day.” He hugs me.

“I’m so glad.” He continues to hug me and a flash of him holding me when I am dirty comes to my mind. I shake it off thinking it is just something in the past. 

“You okay Sugar?” 

“Ya, perfect Em.” I mutter out.

Brian puts his arm around me as Em gives him a look. My two protectors. 

We walk around, all laughing and having a great time. Little did I know that in the days and weeks to come, I would really need my two protectors.

* * *

If you would like to see some of the wonderful pictures from this place, here is the website.

[ South Port Flower Show](http://slartisgeneralphotos.fotopic.net/c658916_1.html)


	18. Queens and Kings

I want to thank Carolyn for all her help as well as Rose for hers. I also want to say thanks to everyone who has stole by me through this. I promise more will come soon.

I also want to thank my Delph Gang for all their love and support.

I also want to thank Cat and Peri for more of this. 

Peri..Your suggestions are in this chapter, thanks, keep them coming.

Enjoy.

* * *

**Brian**

As I sit at the computer, looking through the pictures from the Flower show I can’t help but smile.

Justin looks so happy in them. The gang showed up and we hung out for awhile. 

I come to a picture with Justin sitting on my lap with Emmett beside us. Emmett’s hand was on Justin’s side as for silent comfort.

I think Justin had a little bit of a flashback due to his attitude changed somewhat after the gang met up with us. When I asked Justin if he was okay he said yes, so I didn’t push it.

I am brought out of my memories when I hear Justin whining from the bedroom. I rush into him and see him thrashing from side to side.

“Justin” I quietly say, walking towards the bed.

“No, no.” Justin begins to mumble.

Sitting next to him, I rub his hair. It seems to calm him down. Once he has stopped shaking his head back and forth and resting again I go to stand up, but am stopped by Justin grabbing my arm.

“Stay, please.”

I lay next to him, never taking my eyes off his until he puts his head on my chest. Running my fingers through his hair I get the feeling he is crying.

“Justin, what was it about?” I ask as he snuggles even closer to me.

“I don’t know. I keep having these moments of what I think are just not true. But the feelings are real.” He whispers.

“How so?” I ask in a low calming voice, not wanting to freak him out more.

“Well for awhile now, I have these flashbacks of being with Emmett and crying and dirty and sometimes bloody. And a little girl is with me. I don’t know who she is, but I seem close to her.” Wiping his eyes as he tries to hold me even tighter.

“Who do you think it is?” I remember that Dade told me I have to let Justin remember on his own.

“I don’t know, but I know I need to find out. I mean this girl in my thoughts is younger then me and is with me a lot when I dream.” Closing his eyes, yawning.

“Well just don’t worry about it now. Get some more rest.” Rubbing his back he nods his head.

“Brian, why can’t I remember anything bad?” 

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“I mean I remember everything good, and I remember Emmett always being there for me, but why can’t I remember why I am dirty or bloody in my thoughts? Promise me I won’t find anything out that will make you give up.”

“Justin, I will never give up on you. On us. I promise I will be here for you.”

“Thanks. I can’t stop thinking about it Brian. About the thoughts in my head. Like that blonde woman. Why was I so drawn to her?”

I can feel him starting to shake like he did before his memory loss.

“Call Emmett, I need to talk to Emmett.” I look at his head as he lifts it up. “Please Brian.” He looks at me with pleading eyes.

“Okay Sunshine.” I reach over to pick up the phone to call the one person that I have learned his number by heart faster then most. And the only person I call the most.

^^^

After calling Emmett, Justin and I got up to have some coffee.

“Brian, I’m sorry. I know that you are worried, but Emmett seems to be the one person with all the answers." As I was about to protest there was a knock on the door.

Opening it up to let Emmett in he rushes to Justin’s side.

“What is it Baby? Did you remember something? Are you okay?” Emmett starts with all the questions.

“Emmett, please let him speak.” I sit next to Justin.

“What happened?” Emmett is now in front of Justin.

“I need answers Em. I need to know why I was so drawn to the blonde woman. Why am I having these thoughts of you hugging me while I am dirty and bloody and there is this girl, I can’t get her out of my mind. Tell me Em.” Em looks at me I shake my head.

“Baby, the doctor wants you to remember on your own.” Em tells him.

“I know what he said Emmett, but you know I hate not knowing. I know I remember all the good times, but then bad shit is coming into my head and I want to know what it means. Who is this girl?” Justin pleads.

Looking at me Justin shudders and when we look back at him he is holding onto Emmett’s arm.

“What is it baby?” Em looks on concerned.

“I see you in this same position. I am crying and hurt. Why am I hurt? The little girl is next to me crying to.” He looks to Em and for once I hate not being a part of what happened. I want to help him.

“She’s your sister.” I look at Emmett with such force he looks at me.

“What are you doing? He is supposed to figure it out.” I yell at him.

“He is my best friend, I will not lie to him. He asked me and I will tell him. I was there asshole. I know what happened and I will not let him figure this out on his own without me. So back the fuck off.” Emmett is still holding Justin’s hand.

“My sister? Where is she? What happened? Em, please.” Justin pleads.

“Emmett?” I look at him once more.

“Em, please.” Justin begs Emmett; I am worried about this. 

“Molly was your sister. What you are remembering is,” Justin stands up, looking like he knows what is about to be said.

“Oh my god. She _was_ my sister? You mean she’s dead?” Justin is looking paler as I pick up the phone. 

After caller Dade I hear the door slam open and turn to see Emmett on top of Justin.

“Justin.” I yell and move over. “Damn it Emmett.” 

“Brian, leave it. I know what I’m doing. I know him.” Standing up Emmett lets go of Justin.

“Justin. Look at me.” He tells him and Justin does.

“Go on.” Nodding, Justin walks out leaving me and Emmett to stare at each other with him standing in my way.

 

“Move Emmett.”

“No, he needs to do this Brian. I know where he is going. We will let him have a little lead then we will go.” He tells me.

About a minute passes and I look to him. “Long enough?” I ask.

“Let’s go.” We walk out, I don’t know where to, but we are walking out.

 

**Justin**

After leaving Brian’s I head straight to where I have to go. The girl is Molly, my sister. 

I get to the gravesite, not knowing how I knew where it was as I lean down I see grave stone side by side. 

They are beautiful stones, one with the name Jennifer Taylor, loving mother and wife. 

The other said Molly Taylor, loving daughter and sister. 

Jennifer must be the blonde woman because there is a picture of her on the stone. She was so pretty. Molly’s doesn’t have a picture one hers. 

“What the fuck happened? Why can’t I remember what happened?” Sitting next to the stone I lean onto it. 

“Please let me remember them. Even if it is bad. It’s my family. And where is my father?” I look up, hoping that my answers will be given. 

But nothing happened.

“I can’t remember anything. I can’t remember. I’m so sorry.” I sob out.

“It’s not your fault Baby.” Looking up I see Emmett and Brian. Smiling knowing that Emmett wouldn’t be to far behind me.

As well as Brian. Who is proving that he is there for me too.

“I can’t remember what happened.” Emmett is now next to me with his arms around me.

“Shh Baby, it’s going to be okay.” 

“Tell me what happened.” I beg him.

“Baby, all you need to know is none of it was your fault.” Looking down at my hand I see Brian’s hand on mine as I look into his eyes.

“He’s right Sunshine. None of it is your fault.” He kisses my hand and touches my face.

“I just want to know.” I cry out, feeling myself getting tired.

“I know and in time you will, but Emmett and I can’t be the ones to tell you. It could be to much for you at once.” Brian looks at me with concern.

“I’m fine.” I try to reassure him.

“Come on, let’s get you home.” Picking me up I look at Emmett and lay my head on his shoulder. Feeling like I have been in his arms a lot more then I remember.

“Open the door Brian.” He tells him as Brian opens it, Emmett puts me in and kisses my forehead. 

“I love you Emmett.” I whisper.

“Me too Baby.” He tells me back.

As we drive home, Brian is in the back seat with me, running his hand through my hair.

“I love you too Brian.” I feel myself move closer to him.

“Love you to.” He tells me as I fall asleep.

**Emmett**

As we carry Justin upstairs and lay him down, Dade had waited around here to look him over. 

“He's just tired. This has been an emotional day for him. Emmett you can’t tell him shit. Let him remember on his own. It can harm him more if you force it.” 

“Dade, no offense but I know him better then you and Brian put together and I have never openly lied to him about anything and I won’t now. It’s better if I am with him anyway. We have been through a lot and I won’t let some fucking doctor tell me what is best for my best friend when I know him like I do. He wants to know and _that_ is what will hurt him more is if we all refuse to talk to him about it.” I shout out to them both.

“Why didn’t you tell someone?” Brian asked me.

“Tell what?” I ask.

“The cops. You knew what was happening in that house and you didn’t do shit to stop it.” Brian shouts out to me.

“Because he asked me not to do it again.” I tell him. “Because I couldn’t get Justin to agree to press charges and then there is the fact that Craig would have done a lot worse when he got out. And don’t tell me that he wouldn’t have if I called because let me tell you something asshole. I did call them. They did check it out and when they left that house, later that night, Justin was at my door with Molly, who both had blood on them from getting hit. Justin was worse because he took the brunt of it for Molly. The man was evil Brian. All I could do was be there for him and his sister. Don’t you fucking judge me for not calling again.” I wipe away my own tears.

“You called before?” Brian asked me shocked.

“Yes I did, and I wouldn’t do it again in fear of Craig actually killing them.” 

“What about Molly and the schools.” He asks.

“Well Justin and Molly were home schooled so there wasn’t anyone who saw it but me.” Brian places a hand on my shoulder.

“Emmett, this has been just as hard on you as Justin.” Dade tells me. I look at him.

“No, not as bad as him.” I say sitting down.

“Emmett you killed his dad. I know it has to bother you.” Brian looks me in the eyes.

“Not really, I did it to protect Justin. The look on Justin’s face that night, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to end it. I had to protect him. I had to do what I didn’t do for all those years.” Now I am crying as I wipe my tears away.

“You were there for them. That counts for something.” Dade tells me.

“Look yes it hurts me to have to kill a man, but when I look at Justin, I knew in order to help him I had to get rid of him of the one person who was putting that look on his face. And I knew I could handle it better then Justin to kill him.” Leaning back on the couch I feel Brian put his hand on my shoulder.

“Sorry Em. I guess I misjudged you. I just worry about Justin.” I can see the concern in his eyes.

“I know and this isn’t going to be easy. You know I’m a loud mouth and I want to protect Justin.” I close my eyes.

“So do I but let’s just rest and deal with this in the morning. You can crash here Emmett. Dade thanks for coming over.” Brian walks him out. 

Getting me a blanket and pillow for me he lingers by his bedroom door. 

“Emmett, sorry again. Just know if you need to talk, I’m here.” I look over to him.

“Thanks.” Smiling he tosses me a glance.

“That’s what friends are for.” He tells me. 

“Yes, it is and Brian, I’m here for you too.” Looking over his shoulder he grins.

“Yes we will get through this together.” Walking into his bedroom.

Laying down I looked up to the ceiling. 

“Yea, we will get through this, for Justin.” Closing my eyes I fall into a sleep, not knowing what tomorrow will bring.


	19. Queens and Kings

Thanks to Carolyn for looking over this for me.

Also thanks to my Delph gang, you know who you are. Timmy..you rock.

I am posting 3 chapters to this tonight due to they are all shorter then the others. Please enjoy.

Peri..thanks for your help.

everything in _italic_ are _flashbacks_

* * *

**Brian**

It has been two days since that night. Emmett has been staying with us, demanding to be there for Justin. Which I admire in the man. He has never backed down from me.

“Are you hungry?” Emmett asks me from the kitchen.

“Ya, I’ll have,” I start to say coffee and toast when he interrupts.

“You will have eggs and bacon. You have to keep your strength up to help Justin.” Knowing I will end up doing as he wants. I will do anything for Justin. 

Including eating eggs and bacon.

“How was his night?” Emmett asks me.

“Long. He had a few tremors but with a few strokes to his head and whispers in his ear, he calmed down.” 

“Good. I really hate seeing him like this.” Emmett tells me.

“I know what you mean. I also hate seeing you like you were. Emmett,” But he doesn’t let me finish.

“Brian, this is about Justin, let’s leave it at that.” Nodding I take a bite of bacon off the plate.

“Emmett, about that night. I really think you need to let him figure things out.” Looking at me he shakes his head.

“I have never lied to him Brian. And if I don’t tell him, he hates that even more. He hates not knowing. It came with his growing up and getting the shit beat out of him. Or sexually abused by his father or his friends. He would never know when, or how it would happen and that got to him. So to sit here and not tell him, it’s like he is waiting once more and he remembers that part.” Seeing his point I nod.

“Ok, then at least sugar coat it into a way he still figures it out on his own.”

“Okay, we can do that. Or at least try.” Smiling at me I now understand what it is in Emmett that Justin adores. His honesty and his way of dealing with shit.

As we are eating we continue to talk about every day shit we hear Justin screaming from the room. We are both on our feet and running to the room to see a very pale Justin sitting up on my bed. 

“Justin, its okay baby.” Emmett moves to him. 

“We are here Sunshine.” I whisper softly, trying not to startle him.

Looking at us he shakes his head. 

“What is it Justin?” Emmett asks.

“A dream. I was dreaming of something.” Justin whispers.

“What was it Baby.” Emmett is rubbing his back.

**Justin**

“I remember something.” Looking to Emmett and then to Brian.

“What do you remember?” Brian asks me.

As I look at them both I wipe my face, opening my mouth to tell them as if it was yesterday. But it is like I am watching it from outside.

_”Justin, baby. What are you doing here?” Looking up to see Emmett’s face._

_“I, umm.” Seeing my face I can see it is all bloodied._

_Emmett pulls me into a hug. “Where’s Molly?”_

_“She stayed at a friends.” I cry out._

_He takes me inside as I continue to shake._

_“It hurts Em.” I cry out._

_“I know baby. It will be okay. This isn’t your fault.”_

_“Yes it is. I egged him on.” I wipe a tear._

_“No you didn’t Justin. The guy is an asshole. You didn’t deserve this.” Emmett whispers to me._

_“Why me?” He puts his arms around me._

_“It’s ok. Let it out.” Crying on his chest._

_“It hurts to cry. Em, he was madder then usual. He asked where Molly was and I told him and he was pissed she wasn’t there.”_

_“Shh, just rest. We will take care of it later. You need to relax and rest.” Carrying me to his bed, he lays next to me with his arms around me._

_Protecting me._

Looking at Emmett he hugs me like he did that night. 

“Do you remember anything else?” He asks me.

“No, I don’t. Who beat the shit out of me Em?” Looking up to his eyes he has tears in them.

“Sunshine, look at me.” I look at Brian and he runs his hand on my face.

“What?” I ask.

“You should eat something. Emmett made some really good eggs and bacon.” Laughing he looks at me.

“What is so funny about me cooking?” Emmett looks at me.

“I taught you everything you know.” I whisper out.

“That’s why they were so good.” Emmett smacks Brian’s arm, taking me back to a night.

_I feel the smack on my face as I go flying down on the couch. I know that it is only the beginning._

_I really hate not knowing what blow will come next._

_I can feel my face being buried into the cushion of the couch and my pants being torn down._

_I feel the tears burning my eyes and it’s hard to breathe. I can feel the pain as something is stuck up my ass and moaning can be heard. But I can’t make out the voice._

“Baby. Baby, it’s okay. What is it?” Looking at Emmett and then at Brian.

“Justin, what is it?” Brian asks.

“I…I..” I stutter. 

“You what?” Brian asks me.

“I was raped.” I whisper out, falling into their arms. Feeling my world fall apart.

**Emmett**

I don’t know what to do but hold onto him.

He has remembered something, but what? 

He was raped, he remembers it. But does he remember who it was? 

And what will happen when he does remember?


	20. Queens and Kings

Thanks again to Carolyn and to all my friends. Love you all.

Everything in _Italic_ are _Flashbacks_

* * *

**Brian**

“I was raped.” Justin whispers out.

“What do you mean you were raped?” Looking at Emmett who has a worried look on his face. Knowing Justin has to remember this on his own.

“I was raped. I don’t know. I don’t remember. Emmett, who was it?” Justin pleads with Emmett.

“Baby,” Emmett starts to say before Justin stands up.

“I don’t think I want to remember. I hate this. I want to remember. I am so confused.” Justin sits back down on the edge of the bed, with his face buried in his hands.

I sit down next to him, rubbing his back while speaking to him. “Justin, all in time it will happen. Your body knows what you can and can’t handle right now. Let it come to you. Don’t push it.” 

Nodding he looks up, “I just hate not knowing.” He stops when his stomach growls. 

“I think your stomach is telling you what it can handle right now, food.” I laugh as Emmett moves over to us, taking Justin’s hand.

“Well let’s go eat then.” Justin stands, slowly moving with Emmett. 

As I watch him eat, I can’t help but want to bring that asshole back and kill him myself. 

Seeing the hurt in Justin’s eyes, not knowing how he will feel once he remembers who it was that raped him.

“Emmett, these are great.” Justin looks at his long time friend.

“I know, it’s why I have a catering company. You taught me how to cook and I soon learned, I loved it.” Smiling he hands Justin some milk.

“Thanks.” Justin mutters out between chewing and swallowing.

“Anytime.” Emmett smiles at him. I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but if I didn’t know better, I would swear Emmett had feelings for my Sunshine.

Seeing how he is so protective and how he looks at him with such love in his eyes. But why didn’t he take Justin up before? Oh who cares? Okay, I do.

After breakfast, or by now, lunch. We all sit on the couch, watching a movie when I look over to see Emmett stroking Justin’s arm, Justin is sleeping, but the look on Em’s face confirms what I was thinking before.

“Emmett can I talk to you in the kitchen?” Nodding he slowly gets up, I lay Justin down on the couch and cover him up. I kiss his forehead before making our way into the kitchen.

**Justin**

I don’t remember falling asleep, but when I wake up I am alone in the living room. I try not to think of the dream I had.

I can’t shake these dreams. I hear Brian and Emmett in the kitchen, when I hear a loud slam, and it takes me back to a night. 

A night I never wanted to remember.

_I remember getting the gun, standing there and Emmett taking it from me. I remember standing by the elevator and hearing the gun shot._

_“Emmett.” I screamed out, afraid of what happened._

_We open the door to see Emmett standing over my father’s body, and all he said was “Oops.”_

Oh shit.

**Emmett**

“Brian you out of your fucking mind.” I can’t believe he is accusing me of this.

“Emmett, it’s all over your face. You are in love with him.” I look him in the eyes.

“Fine, I am, but he doesn’t feel the same and I will not let my feelings stop him from anything. Including for him being with you.” I tell him as he looks at me.

“But you are in love with my boyfriend.” Brian yells at me, hitting the island in front of us.

“I might be in love with him, but I would never do something I know he isn’t wanting, and he has never had feelings like that for me, but he does for you.”

Hearing something from the living room we rush in to find Justin on the floor, having a panic attack as we run over to him. I kneel down, taking him into my arms.

“Shhh Baby, it’s okay. What happened?” Moving towards Brian he actually looks scared of me.

“Justin, it’s just Emmett, he wouldn’t hurt you.” I could tell Brian wanted to say something but he didn’t.

“Justin, he’s right.” 

Looking at me his eyes narrow. “You killed my father.”


	21. Queens and Kings

Thanks again to Carolyn as well as all my other friends.

Everything in _Italics_ are _Flashbacks_

* * *

**Emmett**

I sit there looking at him, not knowing what to say. He remembers me killing Craig.

“Justin, I had to.” I try to tell him.

“You killed my father, Em. Why?” He looks at me 

“Justin, calm down. It will all come back to you.” Brian tries to tell him.

“Don’t tell me to calm down.” He is crying now.

“Justin, Em loves you, he wouldn’t do something that he didn’t think would hurt you.” Brian is actually trying to take my side.

“He’s right Justin. I wouldn’t have done it if, hell Justin, please you have to remember why I did it. I did it for you.” I am now crying.

“How can killing my father be for me?” He asks as he sits down, trying to catch his breath.

“Here drink this.” Brian hands him a bottle of water.

“Thanks.” He whispers.

**Justin**

I look up to Emmett who looks really hurt. I want to believe him. I want to remember why he would because everything. Everything that I know about Emmett, he wouldn’t do something like that. 

I close my eyes and try to think. Then it hits me once more. 

_Opening the door I find Craig standing there, right before I feel his fist hit my face._

_I hit the floor and as I get up I feel his foot hit my stomach. “You fucking fag, I will teach you to fucking piss me off. I will show you discipline that you have so forgotten.” He repeats to kick me and I try to get up, but he grabs my hair and pulls me up. He punches me again in my face._

_“Dad, please don’t.” I begin to beg as I have so many times before._

_“Shut the fuck up. You knew this was going to happen. You ran here to Emmett and then shack up with another fag, twice your fucking age.” He grabs my chin and turns it up to him._

_“I love him.”_

_“Bullshit Justin. You don’t love him and he fucking doesn’t love you. He uses your tight ass for his own pleasures. That’s all you have ever been good for. To let men or women use you as a sex slut.”_

_I can feel the blood running down my face again as he continues to talk and rage, hitting me every few sentences._

_“You really believe someone could love you Justin? You are nothing but a fucking whore. A slut. Someone who killed his sister.”_

_“I didn’t,” I started to say but felt him hit me again, but this time it was with the belt he picked up, one of Emmett’s._

_“I didn’t tell you to fucking talk Justin.”_

_I have to stop this. But he starts to ramble on again._

_“You killed your sister and your mother. You mother was going to tell all about the abuse so I knocked her out and put her in the car and turned the car on. She was dead before she knew it. But the fucking bitch had a letter in her purse.”_

_“I didn’t kill Molly. You did by raping her. And mom, oh god, I knew you did it.”_

_He smiles at me before walking around me. I am not going to let him win this time. I have to fight back. He grabs my arm and I turn and swing at him, making contact with his lip. He puts his hand to his lip and feels blood and smiles at me._

_“You are going to pay for that Justin.” He grabs me again as I am reaching for something to hit him with. He puts his arm around my neck and squeezes it. “Drop it son, don’t fucking be stupid.”_

_I think about it and don’t drop it but swing the fire poker at him and he hits me in the back of the knees before I had it over my head, making me fall to the floor. He grabs it from me and hits my leg with it and I scream in pain._

_I can feel him over me breathing on my neck. “You are fucking going to pay for that you little fag.” He sneers as he is pulling at my pants. I try once again to move away but he punches me in the face once again and for a moment, the room is spinning. I am being spun around and feel my father rip my pants down._

_“Dad, don’t please.” I begin to beg._

_“I love hearing you beg.” He laughs out and he grabs my hair so I can’t get away again._

_“You are such a hot little piece of ass. That’s why I used it for my benefit.” I feel his finger dive into my hole and I scream out in pain. He covers my mouth with the other hand and pulls out and shoves four fingers in me at once. Stretching me out._

_He reaches down and strokes my cock. “Get fucking hard Justin.” And I can’t do it. I won’t do it._

_He pulls his fingers out and slams them into me, as hard as he can. Pulling them out and then feeling in one swift motion I feel his dick in me. With no lube, or a condom._

_“STOOOOOP” I scream and he slaps my ass laughing._

_“I love hearing you begging and pleading.” As he pulls out and slams into me, pretty soon he has his rhythm going and pounding into me. I cling to the couch cushion as he pulls my body up farther to him, pushing my head into the cushion on the couch._

_I can feel my insides being ripped and I hear my father, moaning as he plunges into my ass. I can feel myself dying inside again. I feel the tears are mixed with his own blood. He pushes me to the floor where my head lands on the picture of my mom and sister. I can see the blood and tears form a pool and runs with the color of the picture and their faces turn in a red haze._

_“He will never fucking love you. You little cunt. You will never be loved. You don’t deserve it you little shit. You are nothing but a whore.”_

Oh my god, I can’t breathe. It was my father as I go to stand up.

I feel myself fall back onto the couch.

**Brian**

“Justin, what is it?” I look at him and then to Emmett.

“It was my father. He raped me. He beat me. He did it all. Oh God I can’t breathe.” Justin leans over.

I rub his back as Emmett is beside him once more.

“Justin.” Justin looks up.

“What he did was wrong, and what he did is why I did what I did. I couldn’t let him hurt you anymore.” Crying Justin leans into Emmett before closing his eyes.

“I killed Molly.” He whispers into Emmett’s shoulder.

“I killed my sister.”


	22. Queens and Kings

Thanks Carolyn for the fast job.

Thanks to the gang and to everyone who waited patiently for my to write more on this story. More to come soon.

* * *

**Emmett**

I look to Brian who has the same concerned look in his face as I do mine. I lip to him to ‘call Dade’ which he does while I rub Justin’s back who is now hyperventilating.

“Shh, it’s okay baby.” I whisper to him as he lies in my lap, crying and repeating how he killed his sister.

“No baby, you didn’t.” I kept whispering back, but I don’t think he is paying attention.

“I called Dade, he is on his way. He said to just keep him calm.” Brian whispers to me as I nod my head, looking down at Justin.

“Why him Brian? He hasn’t done anything wrong.” I can feel my own tears.

“He’s strong Em, we just have to help him.” Brian is now sitting next to me, rubbing Justin’s arm.

“I hate seeing him like this. It reminds me of when he would come over and cry himself to sleep in my arms. Brian, he has been through enough.” I feel him wipe my tears looking at me.

“Emmett, he will be fine. We will make sure of it. He’s stronger then any man I know, including myself.” Brian looks down at Justin. “I love him Em, and I won’t leave him alone.” 

“I know you do, and he loves you as well.” Looking down at a crying Justin who is hugging my legs.

Just then there is a knock on the door. Brian gets up and lets Dade in, walking back over he kneels down by Justin.

“What happened?” He asks Brian and me.

“He remembered the rape with his father and now he thinks he killed his sister.” Brian quietly tells him.

“Justin, can you tell me what happened?” Dade asks as he gets a needle out.

“I killed my sister.” He whispers and buries his head into my lap.

“Ok let’s talk about this. The rape, what happened?” He asks.

Justin tenses up before looking up at my face. I nod my head as he looks at Brian before burying his head back into my stomach.

“Justin, what’s wrong?” Dade asks quietly.

“Brian.” He whispers before I look at Brian.

“You want him to leave?” Dade moves closer to Justin.

“Why is he here? I don’t want him to see me like this.” Justin cries out.

Brian moves over to us, putting a hand on Justin’s arm. “I am not leaving you Justin. I am here to stay. I love you. I won’t let you push me away.” 

“Okay.” Justin whispers softly.

“Justin, why don’t we get you onto the couch where you will be comfortable.” Nodding his head I stand up, as I pick him up, carrying him to the couch, since I noticed somehow we ended up sliding to the floor.

Sitting down and having him put his head on my lap, I run my hands though his hair as Brian sits on the other side of me. 

“Ok Justin, want to tell me what happened?” Dade pulls the chair right in front of the couch.

“No,” He tells us all.

“Baby, I know you don’t want to, but it will feel better to talk about it.” I look at Dade who nods his head to what I said.

“Emmett?” Justin looks up to me.

“Yes Baby?” I ask.

“Brian?” 

“I’m here Sunshine.” Brian answers him.

**Brian**

“Please don’t leave me. I don’t remember what I did.” Crying again I move more in front of the couch, leaning over to hug him close. 

“I am not going anywhere. I promise.” I wipe my own tears as I lean back up, sitting on the floor to hold Justin’s hand. “But please, tell Dade what happened.” 

“Jus, this is a break through, don’t push it back in.” Dade quietly said.

“I can’t” Justin breaks out into tears again.

“Yes you can sweetie. I know you can. Brian and I are here for you.” Emmett wipes Justin’s tears.

Justin looks at Emmett and then to me as I nod my head, he shuts his eyes. “I remember opening the door, my dad attacking me and calling me names. He, he beat the shit out of me and then raped me. That’s when I remember, oh god Brian, you saw it. You saw what he did.” Crying louder and starting to panic I lean into him.

“It’s okay Justin, yes I was there. I was so fucking scared you wouldn’t want me anymore.” I look him in the eyes as he looks confused.

“Why wouldn’t I want you? Brian, you saw me, not the other way.” Justin wipes a tear.

“I know, but I didn’t think you would want me after I saw it because it happened. I will never walk away from you Justin. Just like Mikey and Deb never walked away from me when they helped me after getting beaten by my father.” Nodding he looks to Dade.

“Want to continue?” He asks.

“I guess.” Looking up at Emmett he smiled. “That is why you killed him, because of what he did to me?” 

“Yes baby, I couldn’t let him get away with it anymore. I had to protect you. For once in my life I had to do something right.” Running his hand through his hair. 

“I know.” Justin whispers.

“Why do you think you killed your sister Justin.” Dade asks and once again Justin begins to cry.

“He said I did. He said I killed Molly.” Crying he looks at Emmett. “What did I do? Maybe I deserved what he did to me because of what I did to her.” 

“Dade, I have to say this and I’m sorry if it’s not the way, but “ Looking at Justin he put his hand on Justin’s forehead. “Justin, you didn’t kill Molly. Your dad did. He blamed you for it. It was just easier for him to say it was you and get you in trouble. You didn’t do shit to deserve what he did to you or to Molly.” My eyes matching those of Emmett’s and Justin’s, with tears.

“I didn’t kill her? Are you sure?” Looking pleading eyes at Emmett. 

“Yes I am sure. I remember the day you showed up at my house. You said you just came from the hospital and that Molly was dead and that your dad said it was your fault and now you were going to be sent away.” Emmett wipes his tears.

“I was sent away?” Justin is now sitting up.

“Yes, which is probably for the better part of it. It got you away from your dad.” I run my hand over Justin’s arm while Emmett continues. A part of me has to touch him.

“Ya, I guess. But what about my mom?” Looking to Dade he nods his head. 

“Justin, I think for now this is enough. You have been through enough tonight. You just need to rest.” Moving over to us he has the needle in his hand. “I’m going to give you something to help you relax. I want you to rest Justin.” 

“I don’t want to sleep. Everytime I do, I dream of something bad.” Justin yawns out.

“It’s your mind giving you glimpse into the past that will come out sometime.” Dade speaks to him in a low voice.

Justin nods his head before laying back down with his head on Emmett. 

“Brian.” He yawns out. “Will you be here when I wake up?” 

“I wouldn’t dream of leaving. I’ll be here with Emmett. Just rest.” Kissing his head. “I love you.” 

“I love you both too.” Looking at Emmett he wipes his eyes.

After Justin falls asleep I help Emmett get up, putting a pillow under Justin’s head.

Walking Dade out we thank him.

“Just call me if anything happens.” Shaking his hand he walks out.

“Brian.” Emmett said from behind me.

“Yes Emmett.” 

“Thanks.” He simply said.

“For what?” 

“Everything you are doing for him.” Walking back over to sit near Justin. 

“It my pleasure.” I reply as I think to myself.

I just hope it ends quickly for him. But I have a feeling it will get more intense, before it gets better. 

And I will be there when it happens.


	23. Queens and Kings

**Justin**

The next few days went by in a daze. Dade had come over to see me a few times. I had a lot to process about my father abusing me and killing my sister.

One good thing, I am glad I wasn’t the one who killed her. 

I sit at the kitchen island, snacking on my lunch when Brian comes over and sits next to me.

“How you holding up?” He puts a hand on my back. I lean into it.

“I’m okay. Just a lot to process. I can’t believe I forgot all this stuff.” I look over to Emmett who is currently watching Beaches and crying. Smiling I look back to Brian.

“Your mind needed time for it all to sink in again. When you were hit, the mind and body worked together to help you heal faster.” Looking at him with an eyebrow up he laughs.

“How did you know all that?” Taking a bite of my sandwich.

“Dade told me.” Taking a drink we both laugh. 

“I’m glad to see you laugh. I worry about you.” He runs a hand down my cheek, once again I lean into his touch.

“Thanks Brian.” He leans in to kiss me as Emmett cries out from the couch.

“Emmett, my dear, why do you watch it over and over when all you do is cry?” Brian asks sarcastically.

“Well duh, because it is one of the classic movies and lets face it, that woman has a voice which makes it so much sadder.” He blows his nose as Brian takes my hand, leading me to the room.

“What does Brian want some lovin’?” I smirk.

“Nope, I just wanted to get away from the blabbering Emmett.” Sitting on the bed, he pulls me next to him.

“You know he is very sensitive. He likes his emotions loud and clear.” 

“I know, but why so loudly. Justin you know I am here for you.” Kissing him I smile at him.

“I know and I am glad. I can’t understand why you want to put yourself through all this.” He takes my hand, looking into my eyes.

“Because I love you Justin. Because you are NOT alone anymore. Because I will do everything to protect you.” Taking my face in his hands he kisses me.

“Thank you Brian. I am glad to have you by my side. I know that I have gone to Emmett a lot, but he’s been there through it all.” 

“Justin, no need to apologize for having a best friend to turn to. I know you love me and I know you know that I am here always for you.” Kissing me once more I look down.

“This isn’t even half over. I still have so many questions, about family and shit.” He lifts my head up.

“Well I will be there for you through it all. It won’t be easy Justin, but with me and Emmett and Dade, and hell the gang if you let them, will all be there for you through it all.” I lean into his chest as he lays us down.

As we lay there, both in our own thoughts we hear a knock on the bedroom door.

“Babies, is everything okay?” Emmett asks through the door.

“Yes Emmett, we are just resting.” Brian yells out.

“Okay, making sure.” He walks away.

“You know he loves you?” Brian rubs my back.

“Yes I know, he always has. But he isn’t a threat to you. We have an understanding and we have never crossed it. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt me, or us.” I see Brian lift his head.

“You knew?” 

“Of course, Emmett has always worn his heart and emotions on his sleeve. I’m fine with it. It doesn’t change anything between us. And it never will.” 

“Understood.” Brian kisses my head, still in his own thoughts, probably thinking how can I be okay having my best friend in love with me.

“It’s one of those things like with you and Michael. He has been in love with you forever and he also knows the rules, just like Em.” I point out.

“Like I said, understood. I know all about those. So you want to tell me how you are feeling?” Kissing me once again on the head I sit up. 

“I just feel numb. I don’t know how to feel. I mean it’s like I am watching it happen to someone else, but I know its me. And it fucking hurts.” I feel his hand on my back.

“I know Sunshine. It will take time.” He kisses the side of my head.

“I know, but shit Brian, it’s like everything is on hold until I know the full truth.” He takes my hand in his.

“And you will, but all in good time. Don’t try to push yourself Justin, it will only make you more numb and then you will get sick.” I nod my head.

“We should go out there. Brian, I need to talk to Emmett about something. But I hope you will be there when I do?” I ask him.

“Of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Getting up we walk out to see Emmett once again watching Beaches.

“Emmett, I need to talk to you.” I tell him and he immediately turns off the television and pats the seat next to him.

“What is it Baby?” I look at Brian who sits next to me.

I look back to Emmett. “I want to know about my mom.”


	24. Queens and Kings

Thanks to Carolyn for her great beta job.  
Also thanks to the girls, you know who you are. I love you all.  
Roo, all my love to you and yours.  
Delph Gang, Love you all as well. Jim, Chris, Matt,Alan, TIMMY.. and all the others..you guys are my influence for great life.

* * *

**Emmett**

I’m looking at Justin who sits down next to me, with Brian on the other side.

“I want to know about my mom.” Justin repeats.

“Baby, don’t you think you should rest?” I look at Brian, not wanting to put too much onto Justin.

“Em, wasn’t it you who said if I asked, you wouldn’t hide it? That if I ask you would tell me because you’ve never kept anything from me?” I look at him nodding. “Then please tell me.”

“Okay Baby. What do you want to know?” Looking at his hands as he twirls his fingers.

“Everything. Did she know about what Craig was doing? What happened to her? Everything.” Justin takes Brian’s hand for support. 

“Well she knew about it, but she was so afraid of him. He threatened to kill all of you, including her if she tried. She hated herself for letting your dad do those things. After Molly died, and you left, your mom did the only thing she could think of to make it right. She killed herself.” I take his other hand.

“How?” He asks through tears.

“Carbon monoxide poisoning. She put a hose from the exhaust pipe to the car window with the window up.” I look at Justin and wonder if I should go on.

“Did she suffer?” Justin looks at me through tears.

“They said she went to sleep and died. So no, she didn’t. But Justin, she was a good person. She just was weak in protecting you, Molly and herself. She hated herself for letting it go so far. She loved you both.” Running my hand over his.

“He did it.” He said quietly.

“Who did what?” Brian asks.

“Dad killed her. He might have not put her in the car, or put the pipe in the window and turn the car on, but if he didn’t do all he did to us, to her, she wouldn’t have felt like she owed it to us.” Wiping a tear he leans on Brian.

“Sweetie,” I start to say but he stops me.

“You killed my father, and I can’t believe I am going to say this, but thanks. The bastard deserved to die.” Burying his head into Brian’s chest.

“Justin, I didn’t do it to make him suffer, I did it to him to protect you. I couldn’t let him hurt you anymore.” I wipe my own tears away. “I’m sorry.” I whisper.

“Emmett, you did it to protect me, I don’t blame you.” Leaning over to hug me.

“I love you Jus, I would do anything for you.” I hug him tighter.

“I know I love you too.” He looks from Brian to me. “I want to go to the cemetery where they’re buried.” 

“Justin are you sure you’re ready for that?” Brian asks him, rubbing his back.

“I have to do this. I need to move on but I can’t move on for the future or even the present until my past is resolved. I have to say good bye to my mother and sister. Please take me.” Justin begs us.

“Okay, we’ll take you. Go get your shoes and we’ll go.” Brian tells Justin. As Justin walks out of the room and Brian looks at me. “Call Dade and have him meet us there. Just in case something happens.” I nod my head. 

“I’ll be happy to.” I smile out.

After calling the good doctor we head over to the cemetary.

**Justin**

As we pull up and park, we step out of the jeep to meet Dade there. Looking at Brian he just smiles at me, nodding his head.

“I thought it might be good to have him just in case.” He kisses the side of my head.

“Okay.” I quietly say as Dade steps in front of us, “Hey Doc.” 

“Justin, I understand you wanted to do this. I just want you to know that you just shouldn’t over do yourself. Your mind will let you know when to stop.” Looking to Emmett he smiles. “I knew you couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see me.” 

Brian and I look at each other before we look at Emmett. “What?” He smirks. “We have a date. You don’t mind do you Justin?” 

“Why should I? I mean he’s my doctor, not yours.” Hugging me close, he whispers in my ear.

“I’m glad because he is really hot Baby.” Laughing he puts his arm around me as I look towards the tombstones.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this Sunshine?” Brian asks me coming up behind me.

“Yes, I need to do this.” 

Walking to the gravesite where I once again see Molly and my mothers stones I lean down between them, rubbing my hand on each of them. 

“Let’s give him a little space.” Dade tells them as they move away. 

“I don’t know what to say. I really don’t remember every last detail and I’m not sure I want to.” I look down at my trembling hands. 

“Okay, I’ll just say what’s in my heart. I’ll start with my sister if it’s okay with you mom?” I move more towards Molly’s grave. 

“Well Mollusk, I don’t know what to say. For a long time we were close. I really hate the fact that I didn’t stop him from hurting you. I should’ve done more to protect you. It broke my heart when you died. I remember things now. I remember how we would end up at Emmett’s and he’d take care of us. I hate that we didn’t have more time together. I know we could’ve and would have been close. I love you Molly. Never doubt that. Please know that you’ll always be in my heart.” Wiping a tear after kissing the stone I turn towards my mothers.

I put a hand on the stone as I begin to speak. “Mom.” I look down, wiping a tear and clearing my throat. “Mom, I don’t blame you. I know it was hard. I know I went through a period of not knowing or remembering anything. But now I do. I know you did all you could. I remember you taking beatings when he would let you. Or me taking them for Molly. Mom, I miss you. I know that he’s dead, but I also know he is no where near you or Molly anymore. I love you mom. I’m going to be okay. It was rough awhile, but you know Emmett, he won’t let a good man stay down too long. He is still looking out for me. But mom, I met someone. I met a wonderful man who has been by my side from the beginning of all this and I don’t think he is going anywhere. I like to think you sent him to me. I want you to meet him.” I look over to where Brian is standing.

“Brian, come here.” He walks over to me, leans down in front of me and touches my cheek, wiping the tears. 

“What is it Sunshine?” He softly asks.

“I want to introduce you to my mother and sister.” Looking at him, waiting for him to scrunch his nose. But he didn’t.

“Okay, Mrs. Taylor, Ms. Taylor I am Brian Kinney. Justin’s boyfriend.” Sitting next to me he takes my hand. 

“I was just telling them how much you’ve helped me through this.” He smiles at me.

“Well I figured that you would do the same for me. Besides, you can’t get rid of me. You are stuck with me.” Leaning over to me he whispers in my ear. “Forever Baby.” 

“I’m glad I am. Would you like to say anything else to them?” Looking at the stones.

“Yes, I just want them both to know how special you are and how every day I will do my best to remind you. I also want them to know that I’ll look out for you and love you for the rest of your life.” 

“I love you too.” He leans over, stopping right in front of my face.

“You think they’d mind if I kissed you?” Smiling I shake my head.

“I think my mom would haunt you if you didn’t.” Smirking he leans his lips in and kisses me softly.

“Everything okay?” Emmett asks us.

“Ya, look Em, since you guys are just going to do it, why don’t you go home with Dade. I would like to be alone with Brian.” Smiling at me he nods his head.

“If it’s okay with you Shug.” Looking at Dade who smiles, nodding. 

“I would like that. Justin call me if you need anything.” He tells me.

“Thanks Dade, but I think Brian can handle me for one night.” Looking at Brian who looks at me.

“I can handle you for the rest of my life, which I plan on doing.” Kissing me once again.

Emmett and Dade both give us hugs before walking away, but not before Emmett turns to my mother and sister’s stones and whispering so low that I barely heard him, “He’ll be okay. We’ll make sure of it. I promise. He has a good man who knows I’ll hurt him if he hurts Justin. Love you ladies.”

Turning to Brian I tell him, “Good. Take me home.” Standing up I look down at the stones. “I love you both.” 

“And they love you. And so do I.” Taking my hand he leads me to his jeep. We drive off and head back to the loft, to try to start our new life together. 

I look at the man driving and know that my past is just that, the past.

This man is my future.

My whole future.


	25. Queens and Kings

I have people I need to thank. First off, I want to thank **EVERYONE** for sticking by this story and for not throwing too much of a fit when I took a break from it when it got really emotional for me.   
I want to thank all the girls for listening to me and being there when I needed some advice. You all know who you are. Love you all.  
Roo, a special thanks to you for being my emotional support on this fic. Without you, this wouldn’t have gotten done. You helped me through it all. Love you.  
Also a special thanks to my beta, Carolyn for her advice and her help. Hugs.  
Also thanks to the Delph boys for letting me use some of their daily lives as some of my story.

I really hope you all enjoyed this fic, it was a long and emotional ride but we made it.

Also, Aida, there is a secret in here for you. Enjoy. And Surprise.

Oh and Cat, this is also for you  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_Present Time_ **

**Brian**

I stand here in front of Justin and know that we’ll make it. We’ve been through enough and as I look into his smiling eyes, I know that I’ve never loved someone as much as I love him.

“Justin, we’ve been through a lot and to be here with you now means everything to me.” I can see a tear in his eyes and realize just what the future holds. And that from now on, he **will** only cry happy tears.

**_5 yrs earlier_**

**3 months after the cemetery**

It’s been 3 months since that night at the cemetery and Justin seems to be doing well. He has been in therapy.

Okay we both have been in therapy. Dade has been great He has helped Justin and me. I don’t think Justin would want to have anyone else or if he could open up to anyone else. 

It also helps that Emmett has been dating Dade. Justin has been leaning on me more and more and to tell you the truth, I’m glad he is. I hate seeing him hurting.

“What you thinking?” Justin asks coming up and wrapping his arms around me.

“Just how lucky I am.” Turning in his arms I pull him into me, kissing his lips. 

“Brian, I can’t thank you enough for being here for me. I’ve learned a lot since that night.” He whispers. “Like how much I really do love that cock in my ass.” Laughing he reaches around grabbing my ass. 

“Hey, don’t start what you can’t finish Sunshine.” I can’t help but laugh at the look he gives me.

“Oh I can finish it.” He seductively whispers.

“No you can’t since Dade and Emmett will be here anytime.” I laugh when he puts his lips out, pouting.

“Since when did that stop us?” He sheepishly smirks.

Just then there was a knock on the door and I look Justin in the eyes, “Since the guests have arrived and I’m not willing to let anyone else see what’s mine.” 

Walking to the door, I slide it open to find Dade and Emmett kissing on the other side, “Then again it doesn’t seem to stop these two.” 

Pulling apart Emmett laughs. “Oh hey, figured you’d be all over Justin, so we thought, I mean oh shut up Brian.” Emmett pushes past me leaving Dade and I to laugh out loud. 

“Hey Dade, come on in Buddy.” Shaking his hand he makes his way over to Justin, shaking his hand as well.

“Hey boys. Well Justin you look like you lost your best friend.” Emmett looks at Justin to see what Dade meant.

Justin

“Well in a way I did.” I pout.

“I’m right here Baby.” Emmett hugs him. “You’ll never lose me baby.” 

“I’m not talking about you, Em. I’m talking about Brian, I can’t get him to fuck me.” Looking at Brian he laughs out.

“That’s because our friends showed up Sunshine. No worries, once they’re gone, I will fuck you hard.” Brian tells me and everyone laughs.

For the past 3 months, it’s been an on going thing on Saturdays that Emmett and Dade will come over and we’ll spend time together, just bull shitting and talking about whatever comes to mind. 

Including my past, which I’m slowly coming to terms with.

Looking at the people in this room, I know I’m a lucky man to have such great friends and lover.

**3 year later**

I’m looking at myself in the mirror when Brian comes up behind me. 

“You’re so hot.” Brian whispers into my ear, kissing my neck.

“I know.” Laughing when he hits the spot that tickles.

“I love you.” He tells me once more, looking in the mirror.

“I love you too.” Locking eyes with him as he slowly takes his cock out and pushes my jeans down far enough, placing a condom on he slides in. 

We never take our eyes off each other through the mirror as he puts a hand on my neck, kissing it.

We move slowly, and I know what Brian is trying to tell me through his movements.

He is not only telling me he loves me, but that we belong together. We fit perfectly.

I feel the same way. As we both reach our orgasms I can see a tear fall from my eye. 

Wiping it with his hand, “You okay?” he asks.

“Yes, perfect. Just so glad that we’re so happy.” I whisper as he pulls out of me, turning me in his arms. 

“Always will be Sunshine. I’ll make sure of it.” Kissing me, he smiles as he moves around me to brush his teeth. I walk out of the bathroom to finish getting ready for our Saturday lunch with the boys.

The past three years have been wonderful. Slowly getting through all the bullshit of the past and I’m really thrilled that it’s over.

And living with Brian is great.

Brian

After this mornings, love making in the bathroom and the look in Justin’s eyes as we watched each other’s expressions in the mirror there is no doubt how we feel for each other. 

I have told Justin over and over again how much I love him. Today I plan on showing him.

As we all sit around bullshitting I stand up, walking into the bedroom. Hearing Justin laugh I know that this is the best choice I’ve ever made.

Walking back out I kneel down in front of Justin.

“Brian, what are you doing?” Justin asks me as Emmett gasps.

Pulling out a box from my pocket Justin grabs his chest as well. “Justin Taylor, you know I love you and I wanted to do this with our two best friends here as witnesses and to have a doctor handy. Justin Taylor, I want to tell you how much you mean to me, and I want to do it for the rest of my life.” Opening the box to reveal a Celtic knotted ring. “Justin, my one and only Sunshine, will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?”

I see the tears in Justin’s eyes as he jumps into my lap, knocking me on my ass.

“Yes Yes YEEEESSSS!!! I will marry you. Oh my god, I so will marry you.” Kissing me all over as we hear Emmett crying behind us.

“Well I take this as a yes.” Laughing as Justin once again attacks my mouth with his, forgetting everything and everyone else. Never even knowing that Dade and Emmett left as we find ourselves making out on the floor.

Yes this was the happiest day of my life.

**_The Present Time Again_ **

**5 years later**

Okay so I lied, this is the happiest day of my life. I’m still looking into Justin’s eyes as I go on with my vows, “through all the tears and struggles, I always knew in my heart that we'd make it here. I promise to love and respect you from this point forward as your husband, your lover, your friend, and your soul mate. All I am is yours. I love you Justin. I know that the past will always be the past and I know it wasn’t an easy one, but I want to make the future the best it can be and make it as easy as I can for you. You are the Sunshine in my life and I will never let it fade. I will make sure it stays bright.”

**Justin**

I can’t believe I am marrying this wonderful man today. I wipe a tear after he said his own vows, which we agreed to write.

I look into his eyes to speak my own. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I was afraid that you were too good to be true, that maybe I didn't deserve someone so pure and beautiful and loving as you are. But here we are surrounded by the people that I love the most and I feel so proud, and so blessed to be your husband. Brian, I was born to love you and I always will. You have been my rock through the past years and I will be yours for the rest of our lives. I couldn’t have done it without you. I love you Brian.” 

I wipe another tear as I wipe a few of Brian’s as well. He leans over to kiss me.

“I haven’t reached that part yet.” The minister tells us, making everyone laugh.

“Sorry.” We both tell him. 

“Well then, the only thing to do is this. Brian Kinney, Justin Taylor do you take each other to be your partner in love, and in life and always be there for each other in good and bad times. In sickness and health as long as you both shall live?” 

Looking at Brian we smile as we both say together, “I do.” 

“Well then, I now pronounce you partners and husbands in life. You may kiss the groom.” But he was too late due to Brian and I were already lip -locked.

The reception was going great. Had the dance and then the best men said a few words and Debbie insisted on saying some things as well.

“Well time to cut the cake.” The hostess told us as we move over to the nice 3 layered white chocolate cake. 

Taking the knife in hand with Brian’s over mine, slicing a little piece off. We each take some in our fingers to do the traditional feeding the spouse the piece. 

Looking into each other’s eyes we know that we are both going to do it. As we put the cake to the other’s lips we smear it onto the other’s face.

Laughing at the other I pull Brian’s head down to mine, “Just wait until we get home and you taste my cake.” 

“Is there cream involved?” He asks.

“Always.” Licking the cake off his lips as he returns the favor.

The rest of the reception was pretty much the same, teasing words and promises when we get home. 

Finally the time came to head home. After making our exit and telling everyone thanks for coming, we head off to get ready for our honeymoon.

Arriving back I’m pulled back into Brian’s tight embrace. “I’m so going to fuck you into the mattress.” 

“Just wait out here until I tell you to come in the room.” I whisper to him.

“Justin, what are you up to?” Laughing I pull away.

“You’ll see.” Moving away and into the bedroom.

**Brian**

I smile watching Justin go into the bedroom and start to take my jacket off. “Hurry up Sunshine, I need to get out of this tux.” 

I hear him laugh as he yells out, “Go ahead and take it off, you won’t need it when you come in here.” 

Smiling I take the tux off. The shirt I lay over the couch as I take the pants off. I fold them as well and lay them on the couch. Laughing to myself thinking how Justin is right about how I’m such a queen when it comes to this stuff. Picking them up I toss them in the air, letting them fall where they will. Laughing at the mess I made.

“What’s so funny?” Justin yells out.

“Nothing, Sunshine, what are you doing in there?” I yell out trying to get a peak in.

“Come on in now Brian. I’m ready.” I do as he tells me as I walk into the room, frozen where I stand at the site in front of me.

“Oh my god, Justin, what is this?” I smile at him.

“Come get your cake.” He tells me as I move over to him, leaning over and licking some cake off his body. 

“MM carrot cake, my favorite.” I moan out as I begin to lick every inch of his body, taking the part standing up into my mouth, making him moan.

“Oh going for the cream I see.” He moans out. 

“The best part of a cake Sunshine, is the cream.” I move my mouth back down and start the honeymoon out with my own piece of cake.

One that always satisfies me.

I look up into the eyes of my husband and know that his cake is the only cake I’ll ever need in my life.

“What?” He asks me wondering why I stopped.

“I love you.” I tell him as I engulf his dick once more into my mouth.

Justin screamed as he arched into my mouth as he screamed out, “Oh fuck. I love you too.” 

I will always make him this happy, as he has always made me happy.

As my mouth moves up, licking the cake off his stomach and up to his chest, making my way up to his mouth I move my own cock up to his, rubbing our now caked dicks together, I look down at him and smile.

“It’ll always be this good Sunshine. We make the perfect mix. We **ARE** the perfect mix.” As I slowly move myself inside of him. 

Moving into his tight hole he looks at me with worry.

“I know, I want you to understand that you’re the only one I want. The only one I’ll ever need.” Moving slowly into him I can see tears in his eyes, 

No they’re in mine. He wipes the tears as we move together as one. Making love together, knowing this is all about the love we share and not the sex we have.

As we both reach our orgasm, both whispering the other’s name. I lay my head on his shoulder, pulling out, laying next to him as we hold each other tight. 

“I love you Bri.” Justin whispers out.

“I love you too Jus.” I whisper back as we both fall into a nice and blissful sleep.

The next morning, after we ate all the cake we could eat and had all the cream we could handle I walk out into the living room to see Justin picking up the clothes I tossed the night before.

“Brian, stop leaving your clothes everywhere, especially ones we have to have dry cleaned.” Laughing I pull him into me.

“You are such a queen sometimes Mr. Kinney-Taylor.” He tells me.

“As long as you’re my king Mr. Taylor-Kinney.” I whisper out.

“Well I guess that makes us Queen and King of this domain.” He laughs out.

“I love you Justin.” 

“Love you too.” 

“Now how about I give you some more cake.” I smirk out.

“Oh I love cake.” He laughs as I pick him up, heading back into the room to share cake once more.

We’ll be together forever, I’ll make sure of it.

Loving each other, caring for each other and always making him happy.


End file.
